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jokes apart synonyms - win
If you see a creature coming down your chimney, you need to read this as a matter of life and death.
I need to talk. Like, I really need to talk. The trouble is, I don’t have anybody I can talk to. My family’s estranged, my friends are all gone, and the authorities think I’m a lunatic. It's just five days from Christmas, and I’m alone. Isolated. If I don’t get this off my chest though, I’m afraid it’s going to start festering in my mind like a decaying carcass; I’m afraid it’s going to sink its teeth in. So I’ll talk to you. All of you. It’s not perfect, but it will do. My name's Terrance Sims. I’m sitting in my rocking chair, rifle draped across my lap, in bloodstained pyjamas that still reek with last night’s piss. I haven’t slept in two days, and I might not sleep for two more. Last night something came down my chimney, and I think it’s coming back. I’m getting ahead of myself, so let me paint you a picture. I live alone, up in the mountains where the pine trees are draped in snow, and the rivers are an icy blue. I could be a bit more specific, but I don’t think it’s warranted. Besides that, I like my privacy. All of this to say, where I am isn’t important. What matters is what I have to say. I’m a researcher. Or at least, I was once upon a time. My funding has long been cut, and my job along with it, but I've stayed out here because I believed in the research my team was undertaking. It was revolutionary. It meant the possibility of bridging worlds, of seeing new forms of life. Now I’m terrified that research has found me. You’ve probably heard of monsters, or urban legends, of things that claw at our imaginations and lurk in the dark recesses of our minds. Perhaps you’ve even felt one. They wait there sometimes, prowling just beyond our vision, tearing at the fabric that holds our realities together. Desperate. Hungry. My job was to study these beings. I was tasked with developing an understanding of not only what they wanted from us but how to gain access to their world: the place Beyond the Veil. Needless to say, I wasn’t successful. The organization I worked for, the Facility, poured millions into my ideas and wasn’t forgiving of my failures. When my theories came up short, they cut ties with me -- he cut ties with me. ‘It’s unfortunate, but it’s business,” Mr. Reid had said, feet on his desk, long hair pulled back in a ponytail. “Your failures reflect on me, Terrance, and they’ve become an accounting nightmare.” I had begged him. Groveled. It didn’t matter. I was terminated along with my research, and when you’re studying the kind of things I am, they don’t want that information leaking out into the world. It’s what they call a liability. So I was blacklisted. Facility teams picked away at my reputation, whispering in the back corners of universities and at the water coolers of laboratories. My name became synonymous with paranoia and madness. I was a laughing stock among my peers. A joke. It was the end of my life. Only one person cared to associate with me afterwards, a junior colleague and a brilliant young man named Alexi Azimov. He believed in the research nearly as much as I did, and luckily for him, his name wasn’t attached to the project. When the Facility pulled the plug and dragged my name through the dirt, they simply moved him to a new department, and that was that. Despite it, he spent his vacation days returning to the mountain, assisting me with further study whenever he could. Until last year, when even he abandoned me too. But now I’ve shown all of them. I’ve proven they were wrong -- dead wrong. It’s here. He’s here. I always suspected he lived among these mountains, or at least that his Bridge was located within them, but I had given up hope for so long. It had been years, after all -- damn near a decade. They called me absurd. Insane. Then, last night everything changed. I was lying in bed, winding down after logging the readings on the temporal measurement equipment, when the cabin shook. At first, I thought an avalanche had struck it, but then I heard it: a clatter of hooves upon the roof. I shot out of bed, my breath trapped in my chest and my body cold with sweat. I sprinted to the closet and pulled out my hunting rifle. Outside, a blizzard howled, but all I heard was the voice, a menagerie of tone and emotion, high and low, guttural and smooth. It rang out from above me. Ho ho hO. My first thought was to contact the Facility, but my satellite internet wasn’t functioning in the storm. Even if it were, I knew better. I was too far. Too isolated for help. The mountains I study in are remote, and the cabin even more so. It was chosen for its seclusion as a means of observing the being known as the Sleigh Father, but the circumstances were meant to be different. Much different. Above me, the ceiling creaked, and dust drifted down from the rafters. Boots crunched upon the snow-caked roof. You always think you’ll know what to do when the moment comes, that your training will kick in, and you’ll just go through the motions like some kind of pre-programmed robot. I wish that were true. I really do. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t think. I’d spent the better part of my career chasing that monster, and now that it’d found me, I was lost. My fingers played against the trigger of my rifle, my mouth dry, and my eyes latched open. Inside of me, my body thrummed with terror. My fight or flight response oscillated between cowardice and impulsive foolishness. I was paralyzed. Alone. A chorus of chattering pierced the screaming wind. It came fast and jittery, like a ticking clock marking time in microseconds. I knew what it was before the hoofbeats followed. It was them, the creatures the Sleigh Father commissioned in the First Days when people still feared the night and all the horrors within. Eight abominations, stitched together by the innards of mutilated children. Their agony acted as his gateway -- his Bridge between worlds. The souls of the children lived on in the beasts, while their vacant spirits stalked the earth, lost and hopeless, seeking the missing piece that would finally grant them rest. Their tortured existence was his Link to our reality. The sleigh the abominations drew, his Bridge. The thought shook me from my trance. I’d spent years waiting for this—a chance to see the other side, to see other worlds. I had to act, so I lurched forward, moving through the lonely cabin while the Sleigh Father’s footsteps creaked above me. HO hO ho. He lumbered toward the chimney while I shivered down the cold hallway, rifle trembling in my skinny arms. It took me only a few moments to reach the living area, and when I did, I settled there, just behind the corner of the wall. I kept my gun levelled at the fireplace, and my eyes plastered open. A crackling blaze danced in the hearth. It cast the sparse furnishings in an orange glow, throwing shadows across the loveseat and the messy desks. The night became still. The snowstorm quieted. The hoofbeats vanished. There was no sound of boots, no sound of laughter, only the snapping flames and my heart pounding blood through my skull. My mouth moved, and words spilled out. Affirmations. Come on, I muttered. Slide down the chimney, you beast. The fire’s waiting for you. I knew better. Of course I did. I’d spent years researching the Sleigh Father, consumed tireless hours reading into his history. Of all the monsters the Facility had dealt with, the terrors that haunted old email chains and the urban legends that spread through panicked breaths, he was the anomaly. He was celebrated. Santa Claus, they called him. It was an error I traced back to centuries ago when a young girl witnessed her abusive father taken by the Sleigh Father. The creature devoured him and left the man’s skull as a parting gift, having taken what he came for: a human soul. To the girl, the beast was a saviour. A saint. The words she spoke in the following weeks, months, and years became immortalized. They became history, and then they became legend. A jolly being, laughing and hungry, coming down the chimney and leaving gifts in its wake. It was as tantalizing a tale as they come, especially to young children, eager to be appeased in their search for comfort and joy. Now he was here with me, looking for another soul to add to his collection. Seconds stretched into minutes as I waited, tucked quietly behind the corner of the wall, rifle in my arms, elbow steadied upon my knee. Once, we had contingencies for this. Plans in place that provided the means to incapacitate the Sleigh Father should he pay us a visit, but those plans involved government agents no longer in my employ. They involved expensive technology and complex spells. They were a last resort. A clump of snow fell down the chimney, and the fire responded with a hiss of steam. Its flame retreated for a moment, flickering, before lashing back in anger. Something heavy shuffled above—the Sleigh Father. Emotions swam inside of me. Regret. Anger. Fear. Why had I stayed out here? How could I have been so stubborn, so goddamn arrogant? The answer was obvious: my old boss, Donovan Reid. His mockery, his wanton destruction of my life. It left me with no other option. Either I remained on this mountain, burning through my life’s savings and hunting wayward game, or I returned home. One meant a chance at redemption, the other guaranteed humiliation and disgrace. I hated Mr. Reid more than words could say. Alexi had seen it. He’d seen how much my loathing distracted me, and so he recommended methods to help get the snake off my mind. A list, he’d said in an email last month. Write a list of all the ways you want to hurt him. Write a list of all the horrible things you want to happen to him. I think it could help you get him out of your head and free up your attention. It helped—a little. hO ho HO. The laugh came high and low, husky and slick. A crunch followed it, like something digging into brick, and panic found its way into my bones. Dust and debris fell into the flames. The Sleigh Father's legend was explicit in his form of entry: if possible, it was always the chimney. A grunt came down the flue, followed by more pebbles and stones. Then, the cabin shook. It was as if something heavy had jumped from the roof -- and what comes up must come down. A pulverizing cacophony filled the night like cannon fire. Rubble tumbled into the blazing hearth while the bricks of the chimney bulged outwards, crumbling as something massive shot down it. I barely brought my rifle on aim before a figure crashed into the flames. Burning logs shattered with a thunderous crack, plunging the cabin into inky darkness. Wooden splinters ricocheted around the room like blazing shrapnel, their slivers slashing at my face and tracing my skin in searing agony. I swung back behind the protection of the hallway wall, rifle clutched to my chest. My thoughts raced. This couldn’t be happening, I said to myself. It couldn’t. I slammed my eyes shut, trying to get my out-of-control breathing back in line. I was hyperventilating. Panicking. I had to calm down because if I didn’t, I would start making impulsive decisions, and impulsive decisions were a good way to die. I opened my eyes. The fire was gone. I could barely see a thing. A short distance away, boots groaned against hardwood, kicking past broken logs in the hearth. My finger quivered against the cold steel of the rifle’s trigger, and I desperately wanted to pull it, but I knew that if I did, then it was over. Either the Sleigh Father would die, or I would. The odds, I decided, were not in my favour. So I waited. A piece of me, infinitesimally small, wanted to see him, wanted to flick on a light or blindly fire into the darkness. I wanted to witness the monster that possessed my life for so long -- if only for a second. But I didn’t. It’s not worth it, I told myself. It’s not worth it. The footsteps stalked to the window, dragging something heavy behind them. Against the faint light of the moon, I made out the Sleigh Father’s silhouette. He was tall, inhumanly so. His neck craned forward, pressed against the top of the high cabin ceiling. A cloak was draped across his broad shoulders, and from his head slumped the pom of a stocking cap. Beside him sat a large sack. “NaUghty oR niCe?” his voice hummed, in discordant melody. I didn’t reply. It seemed impossible, but a part of me held onto the belief that maybe he wasn’t speaking to me. Maybe he didn’t know I was there. It was just a monologue, perhaps—words for the night. I raised the rifle, aiming it toward his massive figure. I could do it now, I reasoned. I could pull the trigger and hopefully make this nightmare disappear. Ho HO hO. The silhouette turned, its face masked in shadow, save for a single glint of bobbing light. “CaReFuL wiTh tHaT,” it said. A cold breeze swept across me, and suddenly my fingers burned with agonizing frostbite. My rifle clattered to the floor while my hands trembled in pain. “YoU’ll TaKe yOur eYe OuT.” “W-what do you want?” I stuttered, stumbling backward. My feet croaked on the floorboards as I came up against the back of the hallway. My heart hammered. Tears filled my visions as I cradled my cold hands against my stomach. “Please,” I whimpered. “NaUgHty?” he sang. “Or NiCe?” “N-nice,” I said. “I’m a good man. I just wanted to l-learn about you.” The words stumbled out of my mouth like lemmings falling to their death. “I don’t mean any harm. I swear--” The footsteps creaked closer, and as they did, the silhouette vanished from the window's moonlight. All that remained of it now was sounds it made. I listened intently to the burdensome echoes of boots on hardwood and the heavy scratching of coarse fabric being dragged across the floor. ho Ho hO. He was close. So close. I slammed my eyes shut, waiting for the inevitable, waiting to die. Warm piss spilled down my leg, and my face screwed up as I fell to my knees, bawling on the floor. “Please,” I begged. “I'm a good man! I told you -- please!” The rumble of footfalls stopped, and in their place came the sound of rustling fabric, like somebody opening a sack. “NiCe, yOu sAy?” A dim light formed, radiating out of a burlap bag some five feet away. Behind its glow, I could make out a white, singed beard hanging over a red suit. The Sleigh Father’s face was otherwise indiscernible amidst the suffocating shadow, save for one dancing speck of light. “WoULd yOu LiKe a GiFt?” he asked. My mind raced. Was there anything in the mythology that warned against accepting gifts? I couldn’t recall. “Yes,” I hazarded, in a small voice. "Yes, please." It seemed unwise to refuse the creature. hO ho Ho. A massive, red-jacketed arm reached into the burlap sack. My eyes widened in horror as I realized the sack was moving. Kicking. Like there was something alive inside of it. Muffled screams followed, and the great arm pulled back, clutching a man by his long, blonde hair. The man thrashed and whimpered. Tears soaked his pale face. Our eyes connected, mine and the man’s, and something ran through me. It was a feeling I’d never experienced before, a mixture of dark excitement and absolute loathing. “You,” I said slowly. The light from the sack was dim, but to the man, it was all he had known. It took a moment for his eyes to adjust to the heavy darkness of the cabin, and as they did, he peered toward me, eyelids pinched together to discern the voice speaking to him. “Who’s there?” he whimpered. I gazed forward in stunned silence. Was this real? There was no way. He dangled in the Sleigh Father's grasp like the finest Christmas present I'd ever seen. “Hello?” his voice called. “Please, I have resources -- more than you could imagine! I’m a powerful man in government! Just get me the hell out of here, and I’ll give you whatever you want.” His voice turned weak, broken. “Please… please get me out of here. I have a family.” I opened my mouth, but if words were there, I didn’t speak them. No. It seemed wasteful, at this moment, to reply so thoughtlessly. This moment necessitated careful words and a measured tone. It required my best. “NauGhtY,” the Sleigh Father hummed. “So, sO NaUgHty.” I found myself nodding along. Yes, the man was naughty. The worst. He was an abomination, fit for disposal. He’d doubted me -- made a mockery of me, and torn apart the life I’d so carefully built. “Donovan,” I said, doing my best to keep my voice level. “Donovan Reid, isn't it?” The light was faint. So faint. In spite of it though, I could see Mr. Reid had finally realized who I was, whether because his eyes had adjusted or he recognized my voice. Perhaps a combination of the two. His expression fell. “That voice…You used to work for me,” he choked out. “Didn’t you?” I gazed at him, something horrible growing inside of me. It ate up all of my fear, my regret, my rage and it left only hunger in their wake—a desperate desire for retribution. “I did.” [X.X] TCC
Album of the Year Write-Up #16: 21 Savage & Metro Boomin - Savage Mode II
Artist: Metro Boomin & 21 Savage Album: Savage Mode II Listen YouTube Spotify Apple Music Tidal Soundcloud Background byu/djreshiram The story of Savage Mode II would not exist without an amazing origin story, after all this is a sequel. The year was 2016. After a slew of mixtapes and an unfavorable appearance as XXL’s 2016 Freshman List, 21 Savage was a hot topic for good reason. The now infamous 2016 Freshman cypher featured 5 up-and-comers labeled “mumble rappers” who many believed would not last in the industry. It’s quite romantic how arguably all 5 of those artists are still relevant. It felt that so many people wanted them to fail, as they exclaimed hip-hop was dying and this was the nail in the coffin. The beautiful irony was that all these artists were trailblazers; unique individuals who were far from “killing hip-hop”. They’re innovators, who have and continue to craft amazing works of art in the ever-evolving world of music we love. To be a fan of 21 Savage, one must understand who he is. The coldest fucking rapper to speak on the mic in a long ass time. 21 Savage is the lean sippin, gun wielding, hood oracle we didn’t know we wanted. A man who suffered so much, you can hear it in his voice of earlier music. You can hear the trauma of being failed by an education system, the trauma of having to sell drugs to survive, the trauma of losing a brother, and 2 friends, one at 19 and one on his 21st birthday, where 21 was also shot 6 times. All those atrocities birthed arguably one of the best gangsta rappers since 50 Cent. Personally, I remember not being a fan of 21 in the early days. I thought he was one-dimensional with a barrier around him, that he could never break. It was hard to see the 2016 Savage have any range, it really seemed like he’d be another run-of-the-mill street rapper. Thank fuck, I was wrong. After living a hell of a life, at age 24, 21 Savage reinvented the wheel with the release of Savage Mode. A dark, monstrous and sinister project morphing the aesthetics of the serial killer horror movie with the rough and gritty realities of the gang life. It took an artist to see the potential of 21’s jarring and cold-blooded delivery to show the world what could come from 21, and even leaving room for some experimentation. That artist was Metro Boomin. Arguably one of the most important producers to modern hip-hop, Metro Boomin gave 21 Savage the tools Metro had developed from working with acts like Gucci Mane, Young Thug, Travis Scott and Future. The latter being responsible for 2 of the greatest trap albums ever, Rodeo and DS2, to which are 2 albums that wouldn’t be what they were if it wasn’t for Metro. He had been crafting a new sound, a much darker take on the trap style of production. Before Metro, it seemed the EDM aesthetics plagued the Blog Era and mixtape culture of the early ‘10s. Tracks like “Black and Yellow”, “Hard In The Paint”, “Bandz A Make Her Dance”, ”Type Of Way”, “U.O.E.N.O” and “Collard Greens” are all great examples of some of the EDM trends bleeding into hip-hop. Metro himself played with those aesthetics, but Metro still had a different vibe. “Mamacita” should be considered one of the most important tracks in hip-hop. Travis was really pushing this new aesthetic, that was something more than hip-hop, it was art. He took trap and southern hip-hop as a whole and went full Stanley Kubrick with it, reinventing the genre. “Mamacita” is a song with a one bar sample loop from this song that was cleverly paired with an explosive and distorted 808 bass and eerie pianos and percussion fills. It’s a song like no other, being co-produced by Travis, Metro and DJ Dahi, and remains a classic today. With this new sound in play, Metro went on to make more music with Travis on Rodeo (4 tracks in total, 5 with the deluxe version) and although the album was made with a team of outstanding producers and music, the Metro cuts like “3500” and “Nightcrawler” stand out. At the time, it wasn’t certain who was playing what parts in these songs, but next year came and we all knew where these dark sounds were coming from. DS2 is where the world assumed Metro peaked this sound. Future was the perfect artist for Metro’s new style of trap. His gritty and deep voice made the 808s all the more harder, with 11 of the 13 tracks being produced or co-produced by Metro. This seemed like peak Metro, as he went on to executive produce the Drake and Future mixtape What A Time To Be Alive. With such a resumé, Metro was particularly good at one thing, and it was something people hadn’t noticed; his ability to produce and develop an artist. Young Thug, Future, Migos and even the resurgence of Gucci Mane can all be credited to Metro, where he produced tracks all through their careers, growing with them. With these new sounds it made perfect sense with Atlanta’s next up was the darkest to come from the city. Enter Savage Mode, the definition of perfect pairings. The pioneer of murderous trap production finally found the man who can match the sonics with unrelenting, cold-hearted raps and flows crafting one of the most celebrated projects of modern trap. Spawning two major singles in “X” featuring Future and the 21 staple track “No Heart”, the album also features fan favorite deep cuts like “No Advance” and “Ocean Drive”. All in all, Savage Mode is a 32 minute prevailing record, as both artists prove to be perfecting their craft while still showing ways to go. The 4 year gap between Savage Mode I & II was an excellent amount of time for both artists to grow and develop further. One could argue that the biggest drawbacks from Savage Mode was the long-heard original criticisms of 21 Savage, which was his lack of range. It did seem like even if it was still good, 21 wouldn’t be able to grow this sound much longer, and fortunately for the listeners, 21 seemed to want to grow as an artist. 21’s debut album Issa Album is almost another Metro collab project, as the duo have 9 of the 14 tracks together, along with production from the usual suspects Southside and Zaytoven, and production from DJ Mustard, Pi’erre Bourne, Jake One and Wheezy, amongst others. While the project spawned the hit “Bank Account”, the album was rather unpopular in comparison to Savage Mode. One thing was certain though, 21 was experimenting. “Face Time” for example is a very left turn in Savage’s discography up until this point, as the artist attempts a Mustard-bouncy pop rap love song, with Savage rocking the auto-tune. Even more impressive was “Nothing New”, an underrated track in his discography about racial issues and police brutality that shows sincerity from Savage.. That same year, 21 and Metro dropped another project, but with Migos rapper Offset, called Without Warning, on Halloween of 2017. Offset was hot off the release of the Migos debut Culture, and the trio created a horror movie like no other. Metro’s production had never sounded of this quality up to this point, with all parties working on a body of work, versus making a slew of singles. Tracks like “My Choppa Hate Niggas” and “Nightmare” perfectly weave into one another, and other cuts like the intro track with Travis Scott, “Ghostface Killers”, relentlessly being followed up by “Rap Saved Me” mesh together so perfectly, some argue this is still one of these artists best projects. Even more exciting was the strength and growth of 21 as a rapper. 21’s writing was very on point, being some of the few who could pull off such disrespectful and heartless tracks like “My Choppa Hate Niggas” as well as excelling at hooks. While the biggest song on the project ended up being the Offset solo track “Ric Flair Drip”, 21 was not overshadowed, as all 3 artists seemed to play off each other, getting the best out of one another for an excellent project. After this, both Metro and 21 took nearly a year off to focus on their next major projects. Metro had released one more collaboration project with Detroit all-star Big Sean titled Double or Nothing, which featured “Pull Up N Wreck”, where 21 was a featured artist. After this, it wasn’t until November and December of 2018 that both artists dropped a new project, but this time on their own, but not to say they didn’t help each other. Metro dropped first; his debut album Not All Heroes Wear Capes. Metro came back like a phoenix from the fire, with adding a new and exciting element to his production, sampling. While he has sampled in the past, Metro hadn’t done it as excessively as he did on this project, seeming to prove he was the trap Kanye we knew him to be. The album featured heavy hitters like Travis Scott, Gucci Mane, Swae Lee and of course, 21 Savage, while also featuring up-and-comers Gunna and to the ears of non-Latin audiences, J Balvin. Although the project didn’t spawn any major hits outside of the bonus track released before the album, “No Complaints” featuring Offset and Drake, the album still went on to be Metro’s 1st number 1 album. The movie quality attributes proved that Metro does not need hits when you’re releasing artistic endeavors like no other. NAHWC spawned 3 more collaborations between Metro and 21, 2 of which being the solo cuts “10 Freaky Girls” and the now iconic “Don’t Come Out The House” which featured 21 on a whisper flow over a co-produced Tay Kieth beat. Then a month later 21 dropped his second album, and easily his most diverse and respected project, I Am > I Was. While only featuring 2 Metro cuts (“Break Da Law'' & “ASMR”) Savage showed more growth than anybody else from that 2015 Freshmen class (sans Denzel Curry). Arguably some of his most mainstream cuts are seen here while still remaining very true to 21’s sounds and aesthetics. The intro cut “A Lot” is easily one of the greatest hip-hop singles of the last 2 years, with an iconic soul sample, DJ Cuts, booming 808s, an incredible hook with amazing ad-libs and great verses from both 21 and J. Cole. The album also features further explorations of sounds, such as “Ball w/o You”, a gangsta break-up song, and “Monster” which is about fame and has one of the most unique beats, that include a child choir ensemble and a feature from Childish Gambino. 21 even released a lovely ode to his mother on “Letters 2 My Momma”. Still even with the experimentation, 21 remains true to his brand of gangsta rap with sex tracks like “A&T” featuring City Girls or the Lord Infamous sampled banger that is “Good Day” featuring ScHoolboy Q and Project Pat. With Metro and 21 having an amazing musical journey from the release of Savage Mode to the release of Savage Mode II, it seemed the two had grown tenfold artistically, and to new heights in their careers. But exactly how well would they execute their next project together? Review byu/djreshiram Intro Morgan Freeman... What a fucking start. The cinematic tone is set almost immediately, as one of the most iconic voices in cinema begins the project with a monologue about the unity of men when they attempt to be great. With this intro, the album is quickly set into motion for Metro to immediately get into his sample bag. Runnin “Runnin” features a prominent Diana Ross sample that loops over and over, with a deadly array of bass and percussion, showing familiarity to the sinister sonics of 21 Savage. The ATL rapper spares no time giving you verse 1 with a great flow that matches the eeriness of the vocal chop and low piano note. The hook is one of many great ones heard throughout the record, with a soft-spoken menacing repeat of the word “runnin”. 21 gives us a great outro with a couple more bars before getting into a speech about how he runs it, even going as far as to say he’d kill your crew. With the last couple of words being “pussy”, it’s only fair as the next song features those same words, a lot. Glock In My Lap If you haven’t noticed 3 songs in, each song goes right into the other, helping the flow and aesthetics of the album live. The song technically starts 15 seconds before “Runnin” ends, with Morgan Freeman coming back to question whether people can repeat themselves. Then 21 comes with an iconic intro, repeating “pussy” an appropriate amount of times. Savage comes in vicious as hell over more of the haunting natural production Metro gives us, alongside co-producers Honorable C.N.O.T.E. and Southside. The pianos get complemented with scary strings and ghostly bells as 21 delivers another meaty hook. With 3 tracks in, it’s no denying the mood has been set, but the duo cleverly sequence the project to hand us a love song as the theme of love is seen several times on the project. Mr. Right Now A reversed sample (which still hasn’t been posted on WhoSampled) opens up this track. It sets the tone for a brighter track as 21 for the first time on the project, opens a song with the hook. Savage talks about his love life on this bouncy pop rap track, while referencing his favorite R&B artists like TLC, Beyoncé and Kieth Sweat. Then the king of pop rap, Drake, gives a good feature, matching 21’s vibes well over the beat. The two even harmonize the hook when it comes back to great effect. The track ends with the intro into the next track, where a woman is talking about giving up sex to any guy who has money. Rich Nigga Shit The song begins with the woman from the previous outro explaining her beliefs on the way of the world, which is simply this: Money and sex make the world go around. With that energy, 21 talks about his luxurious life some more, with fellow ATL rapper Young Thug. This beat is much more relaxed, with a real string bassline over hypnotic keys and slow percussion, with 808 rim shots and cowbell. Thugger matches the vibes of 21 and gives him a solid verse. All in all, this is a very good track, it doesn’t overstay its welcome, and kudos to Metro for the violin solo in the beginning and end of the song. Slidin Back to business. 21 channels the best energy from the first Savage Mode as he eats this minimal beat in one of the best tracks, especially if you’re a fan of the most murderous 21 tracks. This classic has plenty of quotables, with great ad-libs and an interesting instrumental that adds and subtracts wonderfully, adding nothing but emphasis to Savage’s verse. Fortunately, Metro and 21 keep the energy flowing, as Morgan ends the song, with words about living by the edge of the double edged-sword that is life. Many Men With no room for a break, “Many Men” starts right after “Slidin” with another classic beat that sounds like a horror-apocalypse. This dystopian type production is perfect for 21 to just be cold-hearted and drug-inducing. He channels the powers of 50 Cent, as the hook plays tribute to 50’s now classic “Many Men”, with the actual song being sampled before the end of the track. Both “Slidin” and “Many Men” seem interchangeable as 21 never wastes a bar delivering relentless flows of words that most rappers wish they could write. 7 tracks in and, really, only 3 breaks in between songs. It’s only fair the next track is an interlude, placed right in the middle of the tracklisting. Snitches and Rats (Interlude) The idea of Morgan Freeman telling the difference between snitches and rats is… fun and intriguing. I’ll leave it at that. Snitches and Rats Appropriately, 21 channels his cousin Young Nudy for a dark banger about, well, snitches and their completely different yet still disgusting synonym, rats. This street code joint delivers another great hook with deadpan humor. Nudy comes into his own on this beat as he adds a great verse. With this being the final feature on the album, 21 proves to do much more with less, as all 3 features help elevate the track that 21 could easily make great just by himself. My Dawg One of the more introspective songs on the album, 21 reflects on life events and the person he is. The somewhat uncomfortable piano and strings over the dark piano stabs and percussion paint a vivid picture of struggling and trials and tribulations. 21 addresses his citizenship as well as reflecting on past relationships and deceased friends and family. While this isn’t the most accessible song on the album, it’s a worthy listen as it plays well of the themes of loyalty from the last track, as well as touching on feelings of acceptance, that the hard shit in life defines who you are, and it’s fine to accept that. With all that turmoil, the next track takes us a step back as we go back to hip-hop basics. Steppin On Niggas In 1988, rapper and producer duo Rodney-O and Joe Cooly dropped “Everlasting Bass'' aka “Nobody Dissin’ Me”. It only makes sense that Metro and 21 would sample a bass heavy, cheesy synthesized, 80s hip-hop track, that they turn into their own. The art of story-telling is ever prominent in 21’s ability to match his vibes with the flows and production of the 80s. This song is worthy of any break-dancer as this track is great for a multitude of reasons. It’s placed at a great moment in the album, and it pays respect to hip-hop as a whole while marrying the modern lyrics and slang of trap with the 80s hip-hop, who both share a love for the iconic 808 bass. Brand New Draco The joke of making an NBA highlight reel type beat is hilarious until Metro does one. Then it’s a classic. Metro and 21 deliver a victory track where 21 raps about his success and he continues to be himself, only difference is the money keeps stacking. 21 raps so well on this track, Metro continues his great production as he switches up 808s, adds piano, and plenty of catchy percussion. The track is masterfully crafted with plenty of quotables, and one of the best flows in the outro, as 21 delivers excellency, 12 tracks in and not one mishap. No Opp Left Behind Reminiscing has been a theme throughout, but it comes full circle here on track 13. “No Opp Left Behind” features a groovy yet still oddly angelic beat as 21 discusses his life further, solidifying his life, as he talks about how he will always kill those who stand before him, and if you don’t believe him, listen to his voice and you will hear the voice of someone who has done the things he’s rapped about. Morgan Freeman wraps the song up by further elaborating the ideology that no enemies should be left standing in your way, and to eliminate them if possible. RIP Luv With 2 tracks left, 21 comes to the end by discussing his love life once more. The production comes off as heartfelt and dreamy, with Savage rapping about women and how he’s given up on love because of the incidents that have happened in his life. He feels like the way he treats women today is because of his past and he’s come to terms with it. This is one of many moments on Savage Mode II, where 21 shows great maturity, as not just a person but an artist who can capture a common emotion and express it in his own unique way, giving us an insight into 21’s mind. The track ends with Morgan talking over a guitar solo about how love will never die, and that other things like lust and infatuation blur love, and those are things that can die over time. Said N Done The closing track, “Said N Done” opens with an 80s Stephanie Mills sample, then quickly goes into a hook, where 21 talks about how no matter what, he knows that he’ll be okay. The song greatly wraps up all the themes of the album, as even after a life of gang violence, betrayal and heartbreak, 21 still sees that he will make it out, as he’s made it this far. Morgan closes out the album with additional words of wisdom, discussing how at the end of the day, we’re all here for ourselves, and we cannot let others tear us down, as they only have power if a person gives it to them. Yet, he reminds us to stay in Savage Mode. Final Verdict Savage Mode II sits high in both 21 Savage and Metro Boomin’s discography for a multitude of reasons. Both artists sound as polished as ever, with Metro continuing to be a great producer, flexing both his ability to sample, his ability to collaborate with other producers, and his ability to produce full-on trap symphonies. 21 meanwhile is rapping better than he’s ever done. He’s managing to get plenty of range out of voice, and lyrically, he’s as sharp as ever. Furthermore, the duo give a movie quality experience. Some might say that getting Morgan Freeman is a sure way to get “movie quality”, but who else in trap is putting this much effort into an album? 21 manages to do less with more with only 3 features and curates a great 15 track album that all share similar themes, tied together in hands down one of the best hip-hop albums of the year. Bonus points for the Pen & Pixel artwork. Favorite Lyrics byu/djreshiram Runnin “I ain't with thе rap beef, Draco pedophile, all of my opps get touchеd (Straight up) We ain't never ran off on no barber, but we still be hoppin' out cuts (Straight up)” Glock in my Lap Pussy, pussy, pussy, pussy, pussy Pussy, pussy, Mr. Right Now She want me to fuck her to some Keith Sweat (21) But she stay in apartments I got beef at (On God) Pussy so good, I had to sneak back (On God) Hit her with my Glizzy, boy, I keep that Runnin Hit him with a twenty-piece, ranch lemon pepper (Pepper) Black Air Force 1s dancing with the devil I just made an opp do the running man (Running man) Keep an FN in my Cullinan (Cullinan) Still ain't met a bitch that I'd cuff again (21,21) Still ain't met a bitch that I'd kiss (On God) He was talking crazy, he got blick (Straight up) Savage keep a token, John Wick (John Wick) Shoot him in the back like he Rick (Ricky) Playing freeze tag, niggas it (Sticky) Snitches & Rats You talk on the internet, we talk in the street (21) Kel-Tec .223, like D-Wade, I love my heat (21) Glock 19 in the booth, it's on the seat (Pussy) Black Air Force 1s in the field, thеm my cleats (Pussy) My Dawgs I ain't know nothin' 'bout no Visa, I was in the park with the gang Moms be feelin' bad, I try to tell her she is not to blame No social security, couldn't get a license, but I still didn't complain Steppin on Niggas Got a Glock on my hip, niggas hippity-hop He was dissin' on songs and that shit got him shot Hit his block with a broom, hit his block with a mop We ain't talking to bitches, we ain't talking to cops (Fuck 12) Check the forecast, I got galore cash Had them killers on your step like DoorDash Fuck your baby daddy with his dork ass We at the bottom, nigga, show me your extort pass Brand New Draco The whole song. RIP Luv I had your back, you put a knife in mine (Now I'm scarred) If you was finna lose your life, I woulda gave you mine (On God) I sit back and reminisce sometimes (Just be thinkin', you know, 'bout the old days) I used to drink my syrup while you drank your wine (My old ways) Said N Done Right hand on my Glock, left hand on her coochie Cock the chop, hit your top, nigga, Bruce Lee I'm the boogeyman, pussies can't spook me Got your BM on my line talkin' 'bout, "Scoop me" *** Talking Points How does Savage Mode II compare to Savage Mode? Would you compare Savage Mode II to a movie? Where does 21 Savage and Metro Boomin land amongst other producer and rapper duos? Between the Pen & Pixels artwork and the throwback to 80s hip-hop, how do you feel about new artists tributing older artists? Do you feel like 21 Savage has matured and grown as an artist? What do you think is next for 21 Savage sonically?
The most cited male privilege checklist is such bogus
I was scrolling through Instagram and I stumbled across a male privilege checklist most of you are probably aware of. However, me and a friend of mine (u/FinallyReborn) still wanted to cover its points here. I will segregate the post into two sections (part I which will be addressed by me and part II which is addressed by him). Also, the points are not in order, but I don't think that matters. What matters are the points themselves.
Part I
My odds of being hired for a job, when competing against female applicants, are probably skewed in my favor. The more prestigious the job, the larger the odds are skewed.
How do I begin to unpack this? - STEM favours women in a ratio of 2:1 - Blind hiring (that is the gender of the applicant is not known) favours men whereas non-blind recruitment favours women by a couple percentage points . - Men, on average, are more likely to be discriminated against when job hunting, which includes both male and female dominated jobs - This 2019 study also found discrimination against men in hiring. - This and this article on discrimination against women in science which examine more than hiring, find either no bias against women or more anti-male than anti-female bias in science. The idea men won't face discrimination in hiring and the odds are skewed in their favour especially in prestigious fields like STEM is false. The narrative stems from gender stereotypes such as female vulnerability that expects women to always be the recipients of discriminaton or injustice which itself is a type of bias against men.
If I am never promoted, it's not because of my sex.
That's supported by? Most of the claims which are made in this checklist are either baseless or outright false and one-sided. (see above)
I am far less likely to face sexual harassment at work than are my female co-workers.
Perhaps, it is true "men are less likely to face sexual harassment" in the workplace, though I am skeptical of the word "far". Men represent 1 in 5 complaints of sexual harassment in the workplace in the US and the number could be heavily under-counted as men often under-report their abuse (here and here). Attitudes like this exist: "If a woman pats a man’s butt, admiringly asks whether he’s been working out, and suggestively compliments him on how good he looks, people chuckle. If the roles were reversed, those same people would be outraged (and rightfully so)". It could also be that men are less likely to be taken seriously and women are less likely to be viewed as perpetrators: "In the Horizon Oil Sands work camp in Alberta, men who are caught in women’s dorms are fired on the spot, while women are allowed in the men’s dorm rooms." Harassment in general is reported to be proportionally equal for both sexes. This study looked at bullying at work and found that "men and women did not differ in prevalence". Another study looked at workplace bullying and found "no significant differences in the bullying experiences of men and women". A study in Sweden looked at the prevalence of mobbing in the workplace which is defined as "harassing, ganging up on someone, or psychologically terrorising others at work" and found "men (45%) and women (55%) are subjected [to workplace mobbing] in roughly equal proportions, the difference not being significant". A report by StatsCan found that "19% of women and 13% of men experienced workplace harassment in the past year".
If I'm a teen or adult, and if I stay out of prison, my odds of being raped are so low as to be negligible.
False. The odds of men being raped outside of prison (which is obviously excluded to prove a point) are not low or negligible (once you start to look at rape in a more nuanced manner and expand the definition of rape to be inclusive of victims who weren't penetrated and were instead forced to penetrate their perpetrators, the narrative crumbles apart). I also love how they say "if I stay out of prison" as if men simply choose to be in prison and there is no bias in sentencing and men's criminal behaviour is not a product of environmental causes like fatherlessness which is not true . To get back to the "the rape of men outside of prison which we will conveniently exclude because reasons is low to the point of being negligible" claim, the National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey would like to disagree: - The NISVS (2010) showed that during the proceeding 12 months of the survey, 1.1% of men were made to penetrate and 1.1% of women were raped. Table 2.1 and 2.2 pages 18-19. - The NISVS (2011) showed that in the past 12 months of the survey, 1.7% of men were made to penetrate and 1.0% of women were raped. Table 1, page 5. - The NISVS (2012) showed that in the past 12 months, 1.7% of men were made to penetrate and 1.2% of women were raped. Table A.1 and A.5 on pages 217 and 222. - The NISVS (2015) showed that in the past 12 months, 0.7% of men were made to penetrate and 1.2% of women were raped. Just as a side note: we say made to penetrate instead of rape as the CDC does not consider made to penetrate to be rape and instead puts it in the category of sexual assault which leads to media under-reporting of the problem of the rape of men. The idea that the rape of men outside of prison is low or negligible is another myth that is rooted in gender norms which are again more advantageous to women as their victimisation is universally recognised whereas men's victimisation is swept under the rug. In case anybody brings up the fact that I am only quoting annual data and not lifetime data which found a high prevalence of male victimisation once made to penetrate is lumped in the same category as rape, I am doing that because lifetime data has less accuracy as it runs into more problems such as memory loss, confusion of events, how well one interpreted their victimisation which might have taken place long ago, etc... This source notes: "Research tells us that 20% of critical details are irretrievable after one year of their occurance and 50% are irretrievable after 5 years". This could heavily skew the data in favour of women as they are less likely to internalise their victimisation and more likely to report.
If I choose not to have children, my masculinity will not be called into question.
If I have children and provide primary care for them, I'll be praised for extraordinary parenting even if I'm marginally competent.
Assuming that's true (for the sake of argument), it is only half of the story - that is while there are fathers, single or married, who are praised for doing "mommy's work", often for a valid reason, there are also fathers who encounter day-to-day stereotypes and hardships for not living up to their traditional role of a provider. For instance, this survey found mothers are seen as better caregivers and fathers are more likely to be pressured to work more and be financially liable for their families. We can reason that if that's the case, then a man who breaks out of his gender role and takes on a "mother's job" will be seen as a deviant and often encounter negative stereotypes about his gender and his abilities will be put to question. This video interview (skip to 6:14) as the actual video has been made private describes motherhood which it synonymously links to parenthood as the "hardest job". Additionally, anybody who has spent some time on social media platforms such as Twitter can notice a pattern of people including verified accounts turning Father's Day into a day about single mothers or mothers in general. Therefore, it is quite absurd to say that a father who is marginally competent as a caregiver will receive extraordinary praise as opposed to a mother who does the same job better.
If I seek political office, my relationship with my children, or who I hire to care for them, will probably not be scrutinised by the press.
Unless, of course you're Donald Trump in which case everything you do will be examined by the media and used against you. This article analyses Donald Trump's realationship with his son, Barron Trump and this article goes on to examine how Trump's children grew up "relatively normal" as well as who took care of them, etc, etc....
I can be somewhat sure that if I ask to see "the person in charge", I will face a person of my own sex. The higher-up in the organization the person, the surer I can be.
That benefits me, how? As a woman, if you go outside, the odds are the overwhelming majority of people at the bottom you will see such as construction workers, or the unsheltered homeless, will be men.
As a child, I could choose from an almost infinite variety of children's media featuring positive, active, non-stereotyped heroes of my own sex. I never had to look for it; male protagonists were (are) the default.
As a child, I saw myself represented as an antagonist in almost every cartoon or TV show. The servants of each villain who were killed one after another like a disposable pile of garbage were also universally male. Such "servants" continue to be almost universally male as people prefer men dying in movies to women dying or being tortured. The "default protagonist" is not male either (Black Widow, Captain Marvel, Supergirl). The existence of male protagonists in most movies especially romantic ones encouraged boys to turn into risk taking or self-sacrificing men who leave their well-being behind to protect people especially women and children.
If my day, week or year is going badly, I need not ask of each negative episode or situation whether it has sexist overtons.
Privilege is not defined or measured by one's inability to recognise whether somebody was sexist to them or not because of how normalised society's inability to spot misandry is. Privilege is having society pander to you and your issues to the point where you become paranoid and question everything or everybody for potentially being misogynistic to you and always blaming others for your misery because of how little accountability you are expected to take for your own problems. It is not "women caused their own issues", it is almost always "society or HE caused these issues" meanwhile for men it is almost always "he caused his own issues" or "other men caused his issues".
If I am careless with my financial affairs, it won't be attributed to my sex.
As a woman, if I am incapable of earning enough money or a high income, that won't be blamed on my sex's inability to provide.
I can speak to a large group of people without putting my sex on trial.
There are value-neutral clothing choices available to me. It is possible for me to choose clothing that doesn't send any particular message to the world.
So it is for women. Women can also wear their boyfriends' casual clothing and still be seen as cute. A man wearing a dress or his girlfriend's clothing is enough for him to be called a "beta male emasculated cuck" by prominent political figures such as Candace Owens or even beaten up in more traditional countries whereas women can wear traditionally masculine clothing such as suits and nobody bats an eye. Men are also expected to wear clothing and accessories which signify status to the world (expensive watches, ties, suits).
If I am not conventionally attractive, the disadvantages are small and easy to ignore.
Not if you are short and skinny. Employment opportunities decline, so do dating opportunities (I wouldn't consider that to be "easy to ignore").
I can ask for legal protection from violence that happens mostly to men without being seen as a selfish special interest, since that kind of violence is called "crime" and is a general social concern. (Violence that happens mostly to women is usually called "domestic violence" or "acquaintance rape", and is seen as a special interest issue.)
This one is so detached from any observable reality that you can lose brain cells just reading it. Crime that happens to men is not seen as a special social concern (domestic violence and rape are both called crimes, if not some of the worst crimes one can do to another - "rape is so vile that only murder is worse". If they are listed out as separate issues, that is because they are viewed as separate, more concerning crimes which we should pay more attention to), or at least not because it happens to men (the crime which is gendered against men is homicide, 77-80% male, so it might sometimes make sense to prioritise it, say, over intimate partner violence which is also 40-50% male, check out the NISVS). However, violence against men is not seen as a "special concern" - violence against women by men is seen as a special concern. You will rarely see campaigns saying "end violence against men", "teach women not to be violent", but almost all of such gendered campaigns are gendered to favour women. Domestic violence and the rape of women are put at the front of political discourse to the point where universities deny male students their due process rights when they are accused of rape. Women are systemically favoured in both police intervention and services for victims of domestic abuse. The overwhelming majority of services are for women and the overwhelming majority of batterer programs are for men, that is in spite of the consensus in family violence research being that women commit intimate partner violence equally, if not more (once you account for unilateral violence which is mostly done by women and lesbian on lesbian violence which tops heterosexual violence and gay male violence). In some other countries like India or Spain, male victims have even fewer legal protections from partner abuse which in Spain is labelled "gendered violence (the blog is in Spanish so use a translator to understand it if you are not Spanish) ". The idea male victimisation is a "special concern" and that's a privilege is laughable and not in touch with reality. In reality, violence against men is and has been minimised, dismissed or excused, especially when it takes the form of genital mutilation where boys are mutilated in the states, their foreskins are sold for profit and they have no explicit protections from the practice meanwhile FGM is seen as a separate, special kind of violence in 39 states. Men wanting more services when they have less even though they should have more are called misogynists who are stealing resources from women and researchers or activists who discover or say that DV is symmetrical are blacklisted (e.g, Straus, Pizzey, Silverman who ended up killing himself after he opened up the FIRST male only shelter in Canada and was bullied to death by the government which denied him assistance as "male victimisation is not sufficient enough to warrant the amount of protection and funding he needed", see this as well. The overwhelming majority of moral and psychological experiments also show violence against women is viewed as a more despicable and morally reprehensible phenomenon than violence against men (see here). So, yes, men are called "selfish" even though they are less protected from violence both legally and culturally. Who isn't? Those who demand more and more protection for women even at the expense of men and then call that male privilege when male victims are treated like second-class citizens not worthy of equal protection to assist them in times of need.
My ability to make important decisions and my capability in general will never be questioned depending on what time of the month it is.
My inability to take risks, be competent, make life or death decisions and be emotionally stable will be challenged more than a woman's regardless of what time of the month it is.
The decision to hire me will never be based on assumptions about whether or not I might choose to have a family sometime soon.
The capacity of a man to provide for his wife and children or his future family can be taken into account in some hiring practices.
Most major religions argue that I should be the head of my household, while my wife and children should be subservient to me.
Feminists and their cherry-picking abilities. "Husbands love your wives the way Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her (King James Bible)", "Husbands should love their wives the way Christ loved the church and gave his life for it" (Contemporary English version). Source . Yes, the Bible and other religions alike did tell women to be submissive to their husbands, but they also expected mutual and similar obligations of husbands. (the Bible being one example). Also, the term "the head of the household" is another word for a wage slave - as being the head of the household entails having to be fully financially liable for the support of your family. In some countries like Japan, women and men often take on traditional gender roles, but the wife usually controls most of the budget while her husband is left with pocket money in spite of working more .
If I have children with a wife or girlfriend, chances are she'll do most of the childrearing, and in particular the most dirty, repetitive and unrewarding parts of childrearing.
Historically and presently men were and are pushed away from childrearing (in marriage and post-marriage due to custody problems). Women, on the other hand, are given a flexible option and the source shows the overwhelming majority of women choose and prefer flexibility to work life, so they end up doing more childcare and housework. In many countries, men struggle to get access to paternity leave and can't take on the caregiver role which is traditionally associated with women because they are expected to work. Feminists, as per usual, only give us half of the story which in fact shows women have more flexibility than men.
Magazines, billboards, television, movies, pornography, and virtually all of media is filled with imagines of scantily-clad women intended to appeal to me sexually. Such imagines of men exist, but are much rarer.
If I am heterosexual, it's incredibly unlikely that I'll ever be beaten up by a spouse or lover.
Wrong, wrong. Just so wrong. - This study found women inflict severe violence on their partners more than men and men are more likely to sustain severe abuse. - This study found women are more likely to inflict severe violence on their partners than men are and men are more likely to sustain violent abuse. However, women reported being beaten up more (2.4% of women compared to 1.4% of men) than their male counterparts - men were much more likely to be kicked/bitten/hit with fists or an object and threatened with a knife/gun. They were also just as likely to experience the use of a knife/gun. - The National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey found that over 40% of victims of severe psychological and physical violence which includes being punched, kicked, etc... are men. - These studies and reviews (here and here) find no evidence that women abuse in retaliation or self-defense or that women are less likely to strike the first blow/more likely to exercise violence in self-defense than men are. In fact, this survey found 70% of one-sided abuse is committed by women and the majority of intimate partner violence is bilateral (committed by both partners) with women hitting first more often. This blog post responds to feminist claims on domestic abuse and criticism of the CTS scale. The claim that men are rarely abused by their partners and women are innocent victims who rarely commit intimate partner violence (just like the claim that men outside of prison are rarely raped and men are not discriminated against in hiring) comes from gender stereotypes which put women in a vulnerable position to men and such gender stereotypes are inherently advantageous to women as they lead to female victims of violence being believed and or taken seriously more often than male victims.
On average, I am not interrupted by women as often as women are interrupted by men.
That darling oppression - being interrupted or letting others interrupt you due to your agreeableness and incapability of displaying dominance or assertiveness. Poor women. Here's an actual undeserved privilege: as a woman, your opinions will be rarely dismissed and called "womansplaining" purely because you are a woman. As a woman, you won't be accused of "womanterrupting" when you interrupt another woman or man while men will be accused of both, sometimes on TV or in official settings .
As a child, chances are I got more teacher attention than girls who raised their hand just as often.
This "male privilege" is addressed in the book The War Against Boys . Even if what was said is true, it's not necessarily evidence of actual discriminaton against girls as it could be caused by a multitude of factors including the fact that girls outperform boys, are the majority of A students, get better grades on average, are more likely to attend higher education and are less likely to be subjected to punishment for their behavior, so naturally when a boy raises his hand, teachers might be inclined to pick him instead because he rarely gets the chance to talk or show his skills. The idea of "male privilege" in the classroom is laughable, almost as laughable as saying violence against women is taken less seriously than violence against men (which is what you did not so long ago) once one looks at the stats on who is getting the upper hand and overacheiving. Before somebody stops me and says "but that outcome is a consequence of girls working harder than boys", well no, it isn't. Boys and girls actually get identical grades, if not boys outperform girls on subjects traditionally associated with masculinity such as mathematics and science, but are systemically downgraded on teacher assessments which causes them to underperform and be discouraged from competing alongside girls. Teacher bias is a strong predictor for the disparities in achievement between the sexes (here, here, here, here, here, here, here and here). 92% of sex-selective scholarships are reserved for women, too and the system sides with female complaints of discrimination more than it does with male complaints in almost every sector - from grading discrimination to the denial of due process rights to accused men. Some schools admit to gender bias such as this one . Additionally, this study which analysed economic spending on children's education by parents from 1972 to 2007 found that parents spend more on girls' education than boys' education and this article explores the relationship between gender stereotypes and the suppression of boy behavior which is deemed to be aggressive in schools. Could disruptive behavior explain part of the disparity in achievement? Yes, but it doesn't dispute the existence of bias either. It is rather simplistic to look at disruptive behavior as "boys doing it to themselves" when such behavior can be caused by factors which are outside of boys' control such as family breakdowns as well as single parenthood and the lack of a father figure at home which might impact boys differently than girls. This 2008 report from HRW also found that in places where corporal punishment is still practiced or was practiced, boys were subject to punishment disproportionately to girls and while it would be irrational to attribute all of the disparity to bias, it would be no surprise if bias played a role in it. The article notes: "One high school teacher suggested one possible reason for the gender disparity in paddling, noting that at her school it was common practice to “stay away from hitting the girls. I guess they’re more fragile, and a lot of them could be pregnant and we wouldn’t know it.” A father of two boys and a girl felt that it was more acceptable for boys to be paddled than girls. He explained, “My little girl—don’t you put your hands on her…. As far as my boys, I am super hard on them. For one, they are young black men and they are faced with different obstacles in life. I get on them every day, and I know they say, ‘Man, my dad is tough." Many interviewees reported that boys were beaten more harshly than girls. A middle school boy in Mississippi observed that one of his teachers “paddle the boys real hard and when he paddled the girls he don’t really hit them.” One student reported that there are smaller paddles for girls: “They use a short one for girls and a long one for the boys."
I have the privilege of not being aware of my male privilege.
Women have the privilege of lying, giving society one-sided narratives, half truths and still being believed. Men do not have such a privilege ;).
Going through old issues of the Wrestling Observer Newsletter and posting highlights in my own words. For anyone interested, I highly recommend signing up for the actual site at f4wonline and checking out the full archives. PREVIOUSLY:
Issues between Hulk Hogan and Vince McMahon have reportedly reached an impasse and it looks as though Hogan may be gone from the company, just as his autobiography that WWE is releasing is scheduled to hit stores. There have been disagreements over the book, but the bigger issue is due to booking concerns. Hogan had initially agreed to come back a few weeks ago and work a program with Lesnar, leading to a match between them at Survivor Series. But just days before Hogan was scheduled to return, he backed out, apparently over not wanting to put Lesnar over again. Hogan's image has since been removed from the Smackdown opening credits. Vince is said to be handling this the same way he handled Austin's departure, which is essentially, "Fuck him. Keep moving forward, on to the next" and not really selling it. Hogan will continue to make a few previously scheduled media appearances to promote the book, which WWE booked for him, but otherwise, most of that promotional tour has been scrapped. The long-term plan was for Hogan to lose to Lesnar and that somehow leads to Vince vs. Hogan at Royal Rumble. That seems like it should be an obvious Wrestlemania match, but Hogan's contract expires before WM, so they weren't counting on that. Thus, Rumble. So that's kinda where things stand right now. Much like Austin, Hogan has decided to go home and WWE is now out another big star. Even the reasons are technically the same (refusal to job to Lesnar, although the circumstances are obviously different). Hogan's contract expires in February and he's interested in working some big money matches in Japan and doing a farewell tour in the U.S. that he would book and promote himself. AJPW and K-1 are doing a joint show next week and Goldberg will be there. They're interested in bringing in Hogan for it also and word is that Hogan's WWE contract might actually allow him to do it. There's talk that he has a unique contract that would allow him to work matches in Japan under certain circumstances, so WWE might not be able to stop him from doing the show next week. Hogan has been telling people this week that he's considering it, but he keeps wavering back and forth. And that's where things stand for now.
It was officially announced that Panda Energy has purchased a majority interest in Jerry Jarrett's NWA-TNA. This purchase has also settled the debate over who will be in charge creatively. Vince Russo had gone behind Jarrett's back and made a strong case to the Panda owners that he was the right man to lead the company. Jarrett himself had conceded that it looked like Panda was going to go with Russo. But this week, Bob Ryder and Jeremy Borash met with the Panda execs and made their case for keeping Jarrett in charge and it worked. As of this moment, Jerry Jarrett will remain in charge of creative. As a result, Russo no-showed this week's event and, for the time being at least, appears to be out of the company. TNA won't officially comment on Russo's status but did release a statement noting that Jarrett will remain "firmly in charge." However, much like WCW, the new owners can change whoever's in charge on a whim at any given moment. There's a lot of people who believe Russo will still end up in power if/when Jarrett fails to turn the ship around.
More details on the TNA sale: Dixie Carter, the daughter of Panda CEO Robert Carter, announced the ownership change to the employees and wrestlers at a big company-wide meeting. Jerry and Jeff Jarrett will remain minority owners but they essentially work for Panda now if we're being realistic. This deal is essentially just like WCW: a wrestling company owned by a large corporation with no wrestling experience. But WCW had the benefit of being owned by a television network. TNA is owned by an energy company that runs power plants (not the WCW kind). Under the new ownership, TNA made its first big move this week, purchasing commercials during WWE's Raw in more than 30 major markets. ECW and other minor promotions have tried this in the past and usually found it was a waste of money that didn't seem to yield results. This new deal keeps TNA alive for a little while longer, but they're still facing the same challenges: they're trying to get fans to pay money weekly to watch a second-rate product with a lot of unknowns and WWE cast-offs. And they still desperately need a TV deal because this sale doesn't change the fact that trying to run exclusively on weekly PPV isn't sustainable.
But make no mistake: this sale has saved the company. Remember back in late-Aug/early-Sept. when two episodes in a row were nothing but compilations of previous shows? That's because Jarrett had decided to fold the company. They were already done as far as he was concerned. But at that exact moment, the Panda negotiations started and they were positive enough that Jarrett decided to keep the company running a little bit longer to see if he could make the sale happen. And he did. But if the deal had fallen apart, Jarrett planned to close the company immediately. So this was the textbook definition of saved at the last second. Here's how bad things had gotten. TNA's original investor, HealthSouth, earmarked $1.6 million to help launch the company. But TNA blew through that money quickly and HealthSouth wouldn't invest more, and so Jarrett was keeping the company afloat with his own life savings for about 2 months. That's when he was about to throw in the towel and then Panda came along. TNA still doesn't have accurate numbers for what any of its PPVs have done, so it's hard to say what the true buyrates have been. But estimates are that they were losing $25-40k per show. The company had no television and a marketing budget of almost nothing, which made it impossible to attract new fans. So they were dying fast.
Long obituary for Edward "Yukon Moose" Cholak, who died at age 72 from a stroke. He was a big star during the 50s-80s. Big 400+ pound dude, back when that was rare in the business, and it made him a huge star in most of the territories he went to. He also wrestled Rikidozan in Japan in what is one of Rikidozan's most famous matches ever because they did an injury angle where Cholak injured his shoulder. It was the first injury angle Rikidozan had ever done and fans were horrified. It led to a couple of big rematches. Bunch of other stuff because Dave somehow knows everything about wrestlers I've never even heard of.
Former wrestler Brian Blair, of the Killer Bees, came just 4,000 or so votes shy of winning a nasty political race for county commissioner somewhere in Florida. Blair's campaign featured baseball star Wade Boggs (may he rest in peace) and Hulk Hogan in several of his campaign commercials. Blair pushed himself as a family man. His opponents pushed back, noting that Blair testified in the 1991 steroid trial about purchasing illegal steroids, among other things from his years in wrestling. His opponents also cited Blair's failed marriage to former WWF ring announcer Mike McGuirk and Blair allegedly assaulting fellow wrestler Doug Somers over his belief that Somers was having an affair with McGuirk. All this was used to essentially argue that Blair isn't the family values man he claims to be. Anyway, Blair lost, but just barely (I can't find any of these commercials).
"This has absolutely nothing to do with wrestling, but I feel the need to say a few words about my grandmother," Dave writes, before going on to give a brief, but sweet tribute to his grandmother who passed away just a few months before her 100th birthday. Awwww. Dave's mom is still alive too and in her 90s. Them Meltzers live a long time.
AJPW is expected to hold a Tokyo Dome show in January. The original plan had been for Goldberg to beat Genichiro Tenryu for the AJPW Triple Crown title, and then defend it at the Tokyo Dome against Keiji Muto. But Tenryu didn't want to do the Goldberg match (no interest in losing his title in a 5-minute squash) so they changed plans and had Muto beat Tenryu for the title. So now Muto is the champion and he may defend against Goldberg at the Dome instead (not quite what happens).
Dave saw the recent AJPW Budokan Hall show, which was essentially the end of the Giant Baba era of AJPW. Even though he died nearly 4 years ago, the company has remained synonymous with Baba. His picture still on the entrance curtain, representative of how he used to sit behind the curtain and watch all the matches at every show (so is this called the Baba Position in Japan?). But with Motoko Baba fully out of the company now, this was a sad show that symbolized the true end of the Baba era and the first step in AJPW becoming a new, more modern promotion. During the show, they had a list of the top 10 matches in AJPW history. And just so you know how deep the hatred for NOAH still runs, not a single match in the top 10 featured any of the former AJPW wrestlers who left to form NOAH. That's right. Not a single Misawa or Kobashi match made the list. In case you're curious, here's the top 10 AJPW matches ever, according to AJPW in 2002:
Baba vs. Bruno Sammartino (1972)
Baba & Jumbo Tsuruta vs. Funks (1973)
Tsuruta vs. Mil Mascaras (1977)
Funks vs. Abdullah & Sheik (1977)
Baba vs. Verne Gagne (1981)
Baba vs. Stan Hansen (1982)
Hiroshi Wajima vs. Tiger Jeet Singh (1986)
Tsuruta vs. Tenryu (1987)
Hansen vs. Toshiaki Kawada (1993)
A six-man tag on Baba’s birthday (1998) - Dave says this match actually did feature NOAH wrestlers, but they weren't mentioned or shown at all in the highlight video and it was only there because Baba was in it and this was Baba's last great match
AJPW's annual tag tournament is coming up soon. Reportedly, Muto was trying to bring in Sting to be his partner, but Sting was already booked for the WWA tour in Europe. Man, Sting and Muta teaming up in a tournament would have been awesome to me. Those 2 are what got me into WCW as a kid.
The guy playing the fake Great Muta in NJPW blew out his knee and needs reconstructive surgery. He's expected to be out at least 6 months. And that was the end of that dumb ass experiment.
Dave reviews a recent NJPW show and has a couple of interesting notes. American Dragon wrestled in a 6-man match and looked good but lacked charisma. Some people there are making comparisons to Chris Benoit when he wrestled in NJPW. Dave ain't going that far just yet but the kid has real potential. Also, Dragon was reportedly asked to cut his hair but refused. And then there was another tag match with Chyna and it was by far the best match she's had in NJPW and probably the best wrestling match Dave has ever seen her have. She did some great mat wrestling with Tanahashi and Dave says she's been training with Sean Waltman (they're dating around this time of course). But she was shockingly good in this match.
IWA-Mid South held a 2-night Ted Petty Memorial tournament that featured some notable names, including Colt Cabana, AJ Styles, Christopher Daniels, Ken Anderson, Ace Steele, Chris Hero, MDogg20, CM Punk, and BJ Whitmer, among others. The tournament was won by Whitmer who beat Punk in the finals (what a damn lineup in retrospect).
WWE's CFO and two of its top marketing execs are out of the company. The details are being kept hush, but Variety magazine reported that they had been fired, not that they quit. Agusut Liquori, the CFO, was considered the #3 person in the company, behind Vince and Linda McMahon. These decisions were made so suddenly and unexpectedly that WWE didn't yet have replacements lined up. So right now, a couple of other WWE execs are filling those roles temporarily. Gee, this sure sounds familiar. These are the exact same roles that George Barrios and Michelle Wilson held. And earlier this year, they were also fired without warning, so suddenly that WWE didn't even have replacements lined up. When business starts to fall, that job is not safe.
When talking about future opponents for Brock Lesnar as a babyface, Dave lists Big Show, Kurt Angle, and Eddie Guerrero as possibilities. They're already doing the Big Show match, which is how they're turning Lesnar babyface. They're holding off on Angle probably until Wrestlemania. And Eddie Guerrero, Dave says "I can't ever see that as a PPV match." Boy oh boy, those words taste aren't gonna taste good going down in a couple years.
Dave recaps all the appearances of WWE wrestlers on the TV show Blind Date. Chris Nowinski, Linda Miles, Maven, Nidia, and Jackie Gayda. You can find most of these on Youtube if you search. They're entertaining. Nidia in particular just cuts right to the chase.
Notes from Raw: Nathan Jones worked a dark match and even though his in-ring work sucked, he got over big with the crowd. They seem to have reeled back big time on the Katie Vick angle, with only one mention of it the entire show, and that was just a throwaway Goldust joke. Seems Vince finally caved on this one and it appears they're dropping the angle. Jeff Hardy is losing weight and looks more burned out than ever. Batista is now being called Dave Batista. Test got a haircut. And that's basically it.
Goldberg gave another interview and talked about WWE. First, he questioned whether Scott Steiner's body would hold up to their schedule, but wished him luck. As for the Katie Vick angle, he said stuff like that is basically part of why he's not with WWE and he wouldn't want to be associated with that.
NEXT WEDNESDAY:Survivor Series preview and the state of WWE, Observer Awards preview, ROH and CZW working together, more on Hogan/AJPW, and more...
Battlesuit's names, augment and costumes analysis [Round 5: Theresa Apocalypse]
Hello everyone, and welcome to part 5 of my analysis series. Today, we'll be talking about the killer-nun, Cutie#1, Magical TeRiRi, give a big round of applause for Theresa "I swear she's legal officer" Apocalypse! __________________________________________________________________________________________
Valkyrie Pledge:
Valkyrie Pledge is a “Valkyrie” series battlesuit, meaning school uniform. A pledge is a solemn engagement, a promise, and is also used in a religious context. As such it can mean a lot of different things. However, I think they tried to address the context in the manga “Second Eruption”, when Theresa talks about what will become St Freya, and she swears to protect the young child taken from the Babylon Lab cells, saying “This will be our pledge”. It’s a pledge to keep her students safe. In Chinese, the name would rather be Valkyrie Oath, keep the difference in mind for a paragraph or two. Her religious outfit is a callback to the fact that Schicksal is basically the Catholic church of this world, and is in canon designed by Otto to make Theresa look like Kallen. It sports the wings of Schicksal, and also the sigil of the House Apocalypse, an eye, which refers to the fact that the Apocalypse are “overseers”, they see. Despite the fact that she uses a cross in battle, her skills are mostly related to spears and lances. It is due to the fact that her lore weapon, the Oath of Judah, is a cross which opens to reveal several spears inside. We can find her leader skill, Our Pledge, which is a reference to Theresa’s communist nature and her devotion for the motherland- what do you mean someone already did that joke? Nothing noteworthy in her skillset except a few things, the presence of a skill named “Holy lance” and which will come back under another name at least once by the end and so we’ll talk about it later, and some references to Celtic mythology this time! Spear of Brionac, her basic: Now that spear is an oddity here. It is said to be the spear of the Celtic god Lug, which is associated with Oaths, as in Valkyrie Oath, and also “rightful kingship” (as in Theresa became Overseer in APHO anyone? Perhaps she can take back Schicksal in the main story). In Celtic mythology, the pantheon of gods is said to battle the Formorians, malevolent spirits. Now that’s all good and well, but the thing is… Brionac being the spear of Lug doesn’t have any actual basis whatsoever. The spear is apparently first mentioned in a Japanese book about the Celtic mythos, where Lug would have used Brionac in a battle against the Formorians, but such claim was unfounded. However, the name of the lance just spread in Japanese culture, especially video game Japanese culture. The second skill coming from Celtic mythology is the “Blessing of Taranis”. Taranis would literally mean “thunderer” in Celtic (justifying single-handedly Theresa’s lightning type) and is another deity from the Celtic pantheon, one of the three primary ones actually. Now her costumes: the Valkyrie Pledge comes with a full wardrobe because it boasts the number of five different costumes. The first one is the Campus Detective, which I have no idea where it comes from but probably an event, and it probably would draw less attention if it didn’t have those religious crosses literally everywhere. And if she could look like something else than a twelve-year-old. But no can do. The second one is Ouranon’s Forgiveness, just a swap between the primary and secondary colors. The term Ouranon is the direct transcription of Ουτανον, which is the accusative of Ουρανος, greek primordial being of the sky father of the Titans. In Christianity, the word Ouranon can be translated as “heaven” or “having gone into heaven” depending on the context. Ouranon’s Forgiveness is then the pardon from heaven, which is reflected in the Holy white color of the outfit. The third one is Pledge, just the normal outfit without the head part. The fourth one is Shallow Sunset, a valentine event dress, complemented with a collar of sunflowers. In Chinese culture, the sunflower means longevity and good luck, and in Christianity, there was a metaphor where believers were compared to sunflowers, so two references for the price of one. The last one is Sugar Haw Child, a Chinese themed outfit for New Year. It sports a Cloverfield knot, which symbolizes good fortune. The name Sugar Haw may refer to Chinese snack named Tanghulu, also known as Chinese Hah coated with sugar. It is very popular on a skewer.
Sakuno Rondo:
Theresa’s fusion with Yae Sakura from an old manga story arc, the word Rondo means “a musical form with a recurring leading theme, often found in the final movement of a sonata or concerto.’ and Sakuno can have a lot of meaning, however, the one I like best is the one signifying “restful cherry blossoms”. Not only is it a link to Sakura, it also means that she can rest peacefully now, and the rondo part signifies that even if Sakura is gone, what made her in the first place, her essence, still lives on in Theresa (recurring leading theme). Also that makes Theresa literally the spiritual child of Kallen and Sakura. With her transformation, her weapon the Oath of Judah turns into the “Pledge of Sakura”, with katanas replacing its spears. Her skills are a mix of reference to fire and Japanese culture, with just a sprinkle of Sakura’s references as well, with some words about dance to finish. The presence of the dance skills come from the Chinese name of the battlesuit, Sakura Firewheel Dance. Her Ultimate, “Hijoyo Frenzy”. I found for Hijoyo the meaning “For emergency use” which would make it “Emergency Frenzy”. Her evasions have all the word “Kenbu” in it. Apparently, it would mean “sword dance”. Kenbu refers to dances performed with the aid of a sword. For a more detailed explanation, you can look up “Genkishibu”. Now her costumes: Lilac of the Valley is a flowered theme costume, so let’s delve back into the language of flowers. The outfit is both purple and white, which is good because lilac comes in both these colors. White lilac can mean “youthful innocence”, while the purple lilacs are an expression of the first emotion of love. I don’t know if it is symbolic for Theresa (hardly innocent and have no love-interest) or something about both Kallen and Sakura (hardly innocent as well) but who knows. The second one is Magical Teriri, a classic magical girl outfit, not much to say on it.
Luna Kindred:
Mortal beware, for if you don’t take care, the cute little girl can become your worst nightmare! This battlesuit is a heavy reference to vampires, and even if I wasn’t there for the event she was in, I can make some educated guesses. The name Luna Kindred comes from kindred, meaning “one’s family and relation” and luna, the moon. It’s a reference to the nocturnal nature of Luna Kindred, because most early vampires die when facing the sun, so they just live at night. It’s also a reference to the early tabletop RPG Vampire: The masquerade, where vampires are called “Kindreds” Google Translate gives me for translation the name “Embrace” but something must be missing. She wears a red and black dress with two bloodied roses, the Apocalypse sigil on her head, a lock on her neck to symbolize her being locked away in favor of her sister, and an inverted cross on her dress to symbolize the unholiness of the Kindreds. Her skills are blood and dead oriented. Mark of Cain, her leader skill, refers to the Biblical Cain, first fratricide, so basically, she killed her sister I guess. So yeah, mention of blood everywhere, with some poetic callback, like the duality “Feast for the dead” and “Tomb for the living”, a moon reference with “Blood moon kiss”, reference to the vampires with “Unholy Relic” and “Mist form” and she’s still a cute flower, so complete that with the “Bloodied Rose” and “Unclean Thorn” and you got her skillset. She comes with her bride outfit, the Rosy Bridesmaid which is quite a sad outfit. The meaning of the red roses is the same as Himeko’s usage, however, the wreath on her shoulders is the symbol of the death of her love, and she’ll be loyal to them for eternity.
Violet Executor:
Such a cute little girl, with a full battle armor… with spikes… and a giant cross with spears… You crossed Violet Executor, Theresa’s own battlesuit when she’s on a mission for Schicksal. The purple color she wears, in Christianity, is either a symbol for nobility or the clergy (which, by virtue of being of the Apocalypse family she is both). And executor, well… She kills, and a lot. She’s basically the Spanish inquisition of Schicksal, with less burning and more spearing. No, actually, she’s not the Spanish inquisition, she’s the Imperial Rome army, but I’ll come back to that later in her skill. The Chinese translated name says Execution Suit - Aster. An Aster is a commonly purple (although there are whites aster) flowers, hence the use of Violet, star-shaped and symbolizing both loyalty and wisdom. Now, her skill set is vicious, with mention of spears, impalement, execution, arbiter, but also torture, with the “iron maiden”, the woman shaped sarcophagus with spikes inside (which we have no proof it was ever used) and a bit of religion, with the “Bloody Magdalene”, Mary Magdalene being a female disciple of Jesus. Now, there are two or three times I said I’d come back to something in the few last paragraphs, here it is: the Skill “Lance of Longinus”, and although the crossover is just over the corner, I’m not talking about the EVA one. The “Lance of Longinus”, also called “Holy Lance” or “the spear of destiny” (should I just mention here that Schicksal is german for “Destiny”?). For those who didn’t sleep in class Chapter 8 or 9, remember those blood tendrils that Otto threatened HoV with? That he also called “Holy Lance of Schicksal”? Which literally means “Holy Lance of Destiny”? All those names refer to the spear a Roman centurion used to wound Jesus-Christ on his cross. It is literally a “God-killer weapon”. Now this refers to Theresa, but also to the weapon Otto developed. I feel like Otto feels like killing the Honkai God, or at least his earthly incarnation, the Herrschers, with it. (Also the fact that Longinus executed Jesus Christ with that spear gives its name “Executor” to the battlesuit.) Violet Executor comes with two costumes Blood Knight: Moonlight which is a freaking GODSBANE and shouldn't be a costume, but I'll be fine with the augment I guess. The white color denotes Theresa's nature getting closer to the divine (according to Otto I guess), and the blood flowing reminds Theresa of the Honkai blood she possesses. The name follows the standard denomination of the godsbane series: the presence of Knight in the name, and reference to the moon. The second costume is Wonderland Trek, a costume for the Alice in Wonderland event. I guess it's ironic that this version of Alice in Wonderland has an adult Alice in a world full of children when the book is the opposite.
Celestial Hymn:
Exclusivity from the manga, this battlesuit is a parting gift from Kallen Kaslana's spirit in the Sakura Stigmata space, yeah, dead souls and simulation shenanigans happened. The name Celestial Hymn is a pretty straight translation from the Chinese version, Ode to God. I mean, except that Celestial Hymn could signify that the Hymn comes from heaven rather than go to heaven, but that's a minor detail. Her white attire reminds people of the Holy Maid of Schicksal, Kallen Kaslana, and the red is Kallen's sacrifice and atonement. The white is also a symbol of Theresa's forgiveness toward Otto at the end of the manga (she resented him after Cecilia's death). Her skill set is heavily religious and sacred with some music words scattered across. Her leader skill, "Sacred Arias": an aria is a self-contained piece for solo voice, usually accompanied by an orchestra. Sacred arias are arias dedicated to God. "Glorious Smite": a smite is a heavy blow, or to conquer. Glorious refers to God as well. "Holy Dirge": a dirge is a lament, especially in a funeral ceremony. Celestial Hymn comes with three different costumes: Empyrean Psalms, a black and white outfit with a touch of purple to remind us of Violet Executor. The name "Empyrean Psalms" is literally synonymous to Celestial Hymn: a psalm is a sacred song or hymn, while empyrean means "which comes from Heaven". She also wears a star on her neck. The whole costume comes from a musical event, which makes her a "Star". Grand Sage is either a French translation of Great Sage, or just Grand Sage which is great sage so it works either way. She sports a utilitarian outfit, a mantle and a tie, with dark blue and white as primary colors. She wields a quill at her side, which can be used to write down knowledge at any time. Apparently, the dark blue would be the color representative of knowledge and seriousness. The third costume is Starry Night, a palette swap where the red becomes white and the white becomes black. The dark of the space contrasts with the white of the stars, up there in the sky.
Starlit Astrologos:
First SP character I'm covering here, it's not technically a Theresa. The name Starlit Astrologos: Astrologos comes from λογος (logos), meaning “word” or “reason”, and αστρον (Astroν) meaning “star”. However, in Latin, it meant both astronomer and astrologer. So basically, a Starlit Astrologos is an astronomeastrologer under the light of the Stars. In the Chinese version, the battlesuit is just called “Stargazing”. In China, the blue-green of her dress (also called qing, the color, not the dress) is a color associated with longevity and health, and I'm pretty sure our Zhuge Kongming lived her fair share of years already. She also has a four leaf clover knot on her side, bringing luck and prosperity. Well, it is supposed to anyway. I'm not sure we can talk about good luck after what happens. She also wears a white fur mantle. In Chinese astrology, the white is associated with the White Tiger. The tiger in Chinese culture is the King of the beasts, and a tiger’s tail would turn white after five hundred years. A white tiger would only appear when the Emperor ruled with virtue, or when there was peace in the world. Her skill set is heavily themed toward astronomy, and especially Chinese astronomy. The “combo: Black Tortoise”: in Chinese astronomy, the black tortoise is one of the four animals representing the compass’ direction (Chinese cut the sky in a different fashion, one being four part according to the compass). It represents the North. According to some sources, the black tortoise was also the animal that inspired the creation of the “Nine Palaces” astrology and symbolism, The passive “Azure Dragon”: the azure dragon is a second animal of the compass being the east. The evasion “White Tiger”: the white tiger is the animal of the west. The basic “Vermilion Bird”: the vermilion bird is the animal of the north (it is not a Fenghuang). Her leader skill “Nine Palaces”: it is a diagram, coming from the concept of Bagua, and I’ll just copy-paste from Wikipedia the definition of Bagua because I totally don’t understand that thing: “The Bagua, Pakua or Palgwae are eight symbols used in Taoist cosmology to represent the fundamental principles of reality, seen as a range of eight interrelated concepts. Each consists of three lines, each line either "broken" or "unbroken", respectively representing yin or yang, 0 or 1 forming binary numbers 000-111 (0 to 7). Due to their tripartite structure, they are often referred to as Eight Trigrams in English.” More information here. Then the Eight Formations: apart from being a plot point in the storyline (I think it was?) is perhaps the most interesting reference of those all. Better ready yourself, and let’s plunge for a bit in the history of the China of old… A long time ago, around the third century, shit happened there, and led to the emergence of the “Three kingdoms”, a period of conflict where three emperors all claimed suzerainty over all of China. Seeing something familiar yet? In Romance of the Three Kingdoms, a historical novel depicting said period, and written during the 14th century, the author tells the following tale. After a skirmish between two factions, the defeated army retreated to a place near the Yangtze River, at Yufu shore. There, a strategist erected an array of boulders following the concept of Bagua, and created a maze. The opposing army came, and a few men entered the maze, despite the warning of the inhabitants, who said a strong qi was emanating from the place. But when they tried to leave the maze, “a strong gust of wind blew. Dust storms overshadowed the sky and the rocks seemed like swords, mountainous piles of dirt emerged while the river waves sounded like an attacking army.” The name of that strategist was Zhuge Liang. But he was also referred to as Kongming. Starlit Astrologos also comes with a costume, Orchid’s Night. Apparently, in China, the orchid represents good taste and beauty, and can be a symbol of a married couple. The flower also represents wealth and fortune, and when placed in a vase, Orchids symbolize unity. The bird on her costume might be the Vermilion Bird, which “is elegant and noble in both appearance and behavior”. Her fan sports the same bird.
Twilight Paladin:
Remember when I was discussing ragnarøk(k)r with Himeko last time? I mentioned a lot of important characters in that story last time, but there was one I deliberately kept away because I knew it was coming, I checked it beforehand. And it’s her, the representation of Fenrir, the wolf that killed Odin. IT WAS ALL FORETOLD. The name Twilight Paladin refers to the fact that the Paladin is a sort of Knight, tying into the Godsbane name always having Knight in it, and Twilight is a reference to ragnarøk(k)r meaning “Twilight of the Gods”. Her skill set reveals her true nature: Pale Dammerüng: dammerüng is a german word for twilight. Her basic, “Fangs of Dusk”, dusk is another word for twilight, and wolves have fangs. In the basic, we also have “Wolf’s hour”. Bleeding Sun and Waxing Luna are there because Fenrir gave birth to Skoll and Hati, who ate the sun and the moon. And at last, the evasion is called “Saint of Edda”, the Edda being the main literary work where we can learn about Norse mythology, especially the ragnarøk(k)r. Now we just have to find a Odin for her to kill, and my two best bets are Otto (basically head of Schicksal being the most nordic organisation) or Durandal (golden armor, lance user and has goddess in her new battlesuit name) ... ______________________________________________________________________________________ Thanks a lot for reading! Did I miss anything? Let me know in the comment. Next time I'll be doing a dual post, with both Yae Sakura and Kallen Kaslana, because who'd be cruel enough to take those two apart again? (And also Kallen doesn't have enough suits for a lone one) Also I wish a happy new year to everyone!
Hi, this is my first post here, but I’ve been reading your posts for a long time. I’m a 19 years old boy and I’m tired of it all. I wish I could function normally, but I’m not able to. For me it’s a nightmare to buy anything in a non-self-service store. I buy everything in supermarkets or on the touch-screens. Lately my stuttering has gotten worse, utter a word takes a dozen seconds. I have online lessons now and when the teacher checks the attendance list and comes to my name, there is only silence, and I’m fighting with the block, tongue presses against the roof of my mouth, head is shaking, and finally, after a long time I’m saying ,,I’m here”. The teacher asks ,,why didn’t you say this faster?” BECAUSE I F*CKING COULDN’T (obviously I didn’t say this to her, I made up a excuse that my internet crashed). Recently the teacher asked me if I had an assignment done. I turned on my microphone and I wanted to say ,,no” (I had it done, but I didn’t want to read it) and… nothing. I felt my larynx grew hard, and I only moved my lips with no voice. Recently I started avoiding lessons where I know I will have to talk (especially foreign languages) or I pretend that my microphone doesn’t work. All this makes me feel sad and frustrated all the time. My speech is falling apart, my stuttering techniques are failing, and in the second semester I will have more speaking and verbal exam. I know that I will never find a job that I’m really happy with, I only find the one where speaking is kept to a minimum. My biggest dream is fluent speaking. I wish I could order a meal in restaurant, talk, joke. I have sometimes a fluently seasons, but it is never ,,true” fluency, it’s only increases the number of words I can say. When I speak and go to a word which have a difficult letter for me (p,b are the worst) I change it to a synonym. Sometimes my sentences are completely illogical because of this. But I meant something different. I don’t even have anyone to tell all this to, because no one will really understand me, so I wanted post it here. And I’m sorry for my English, I use my knowledge and Google Translate. I hope that this text is understandable. A lots of health to everyone
Chapter by Chapter Summary of Comprehensive Research on Discrimination Against Men in Finland (PhD Thesis)
What can you do as an MRA?
Can other people with less obvious MRA accounts like me i.e. more normal looking accounts, post stuff (this is a general comment, not just for this thread) post this on more mainstream threads e.g. Finland sub, sociology, etc.... MAKE SURE you are polite, factual, avoid emotive language, avoid talking about feminism, and post high quality stuff
Comment here particular quotes, passages, excerpts that are relevant. Especially since its such a long document, this will be useful for all of us.
You can make these excerpts into separate threads if worthy.
Share this on social media? (set up an anon MRA twitter, Facebook etc... MRA is thriving on social media. It is good as its a lot more activism based)
If you live in Finland, send some emails to journalists (you can search journalists who have already discussed mens issues), and send some to politicians etc. You can easily write one letter and send it to multiple people. Maybe the individual excerpts/issues you find would be better to send (and then you could also add the whole document summary as an addendum for reference for the reader) - Finland is a small country, I dont think many users will be from there here.
NOTE: It is good that these issues are being increasingly recognised, and more people are doing this as projects in academia. This is only growing and snowballing as more people are red pilled. Look up Male Psychology Network, they are doing fantastic work, growing and have presented an ALTERNATIVE to patriarchy conspiracy theory and are working to dismantle the idea in academia. https://youtu.be/LHYRYKCIDxk?t=591
Main Body - Here it is:
This is a chapter-by-chapter summary of Discrimination Against Men: Appearance and Causes in the Context of a Modern Welfare State, a 2009 doctoral dissertation by Pasi Malmi (University of Lapland) that provides an impressively detailed and balanced investigation of discrimination against men in Finland (the theory and results actually give almost as much detail on discrimination against women, although men will be the focus here). Chapters 5 to 8 are the most important. Chapter 5 explains six biases that cause gender discrimination, chapter 6 delineates the patriarchal and matriarchal subsystems of Finnish society, chapter 7 examines the various discourses that justify discrimination against men, and chapter 8 analyzes a database of gender discrimination complaints made to the Finnish gender equality ombudsman, a third of which were made by men. (Length: 1,800 words.) Chapters 1 to 4 (introductory/background chapters) Chapter 1 situates the perspective taken by the dissertation within gender studies. It rejects anti-feminist and anti-women perspectives, and the glorification of traditional masculinity and gender roles (e.g., the mythopoetic men’s movement). But it also rejects the “critical studies of men” paradigm, which sees men as the main causes of men’s and women’s problems, refuses to criticize feminism or women, and does not believe that discrimination against white, heterosexual, middle-class men exists (pp. 20–21). Chapter 2 defines various relevant concepts, and explains that the findings from Finland are intended to be relevant primarily for the Northern European welfare states, and secondarily for other European and Anglo-American countries (pp. 32–34). Chapter 3 gives a brief overview of current or traditional viewpoints on what causes direct or indirect discrimination or mistreatment of men: gender roles, hegemonic masculinity, industrial capitalism, feminism (specifically gender feminism and victimization feminism), and exploitative women (pp. 36-44). Chapter 4 develops a theory of sociocultural evolution, which says that ideas that are simple, exaggerated, and coherent with popular paradigms generally win out over their rivals, regardless of whether they are true or backed up by evidence. This happens due to functional selection (p. 57), unintentional biases (p. 63), and interest group bias (p. 71), among other factors (see summary, p. 115). Chapter 5: Applying the Theory to Gender Discrimination (p. 118) This chapter develops a general theory of gender discrimination, centered on a typology of six different biases that cause gender discrimination (p. 127). The masculine bias and feminine bias are unintentional gender biases caused by the processes that simplify, exaggerate, and mutate people’s mental memes or ideas according to their gender (p. 127). For example, a person’s conception of domestic work or childcare will be centered on their own experiences or contributions, which are partly determined by their gender, and so they will often downplay/exclude the other gender’s contributions (e.g., yardwork vs. housework) (pp. 135–138). As a result of these biases, segregated groups and networks of men or women tend to have a masculine-biased or feminine-biased culture of values, priorities, concepts, words, stories, jokes, stereotypes and beliefs that can lead to practices that discriminate against the other gender (p. 120). For example, a group of female social workers might decide that women are better custodians of children and default to recommending custody to them (pp. 141–142). The masculist bias and feminist bias come from interest groups, networks, or movements seeking to advance the status of men or women, respectively. Masculism and feminism have sexist and anti-sexist branches (p. 143). The modern sexist branch of feminism includes theories like feminist standpoint epistemology (which gives special status to women’s feelings and intuitions) and the feminist theory of social work (interests of women and children are synonymous, social workers should identify with their female customers). It also includes stereotypes that women are unselfish, peaceful, responsible, loving, hard working, while men are the opposite (pp. 149–152). The anti-sexist branch of feminism by definition is less hostile towards men as people, but it is not necessarily able or willing to accept men’s issues: “[i]n general, the idea of the discrimination of men is perceived as bizarre by feminists” (pp. 155–158). The sexist branch of masculism is discussed primarily in the context of religion (pp. 144–129). The anti-sexist branch of masculism has little power, although it is discussed as sometimes being the source of biased statistics downplaying women’s issues (pp. 152–155). The alpha male bias and alpha female bias are the biases of high status (wealthy, powerful, attractive, etc.) members of each gender against low status members of their gender. They are particularly apparent in high status men’s bias against male criminals (male judges giving harsher treatment, including sentences, to them compared to women) and high status women’s bias against female prostitutes (pp. 170–173). A central point of this dissertation is that male-dominated and female-dominated organizations (the patriarchal and matriarchal subsystems) are prone to predominantly discriminate against the other gender, but it’s important to clarify that they’re not guaranteed to do so. The masculine and feminine biases (the unintentional “own gender” biases) are just two of the six biases. An organization could be more influenced by the ideological biases (masculist and feminist biases) or the biases against low social status people of each gender (alpha male and alpha female biases). Chapter 6: Locating the Patriarchal and Matriarchal Subsystems of the Finnish Society (p. 188) This chapter identifies Finnish society’s patriarchal and matriarchal subsystems by looking at various measures of power, including raw numbers, managerial positions, control of knowledge, and informal positions of power (p. 222).
Patriarchal subsystem: technology, commerce, state finances, defense, agriculture, transportation, trade, corporative labor and employer organizations.
Matriarchal subsystem: healthcare, social services, social policy, equality policy, hotels, restaurants, and some cultural services.
Not all areas of Finnish society fall into one of these subsystems. Chapter 7: An Empirical Examination of the Memeplexes, Discourses and Coalitions that Induce Discrimination against Men (p. 224) This chapter analyzes the discourses that justify discrimination against men, coming from sources that include sexism and feminism. Sexism: The development of the modern misandric versions of sexism is examined, including 19th century views of men as “barbarians whose urges had to be leashed in by the forces of decency—meaning women—if civilization were to survive” (p. 233), which it attributes to the joint interests of women and upper class men. Notions of chivalry and macho masculinity also lead to institutionalized belief systems where men’s comfort, health, and even lives are considered less important than women’s (p. 238). Macho masculinity, with its aversion to men “complaining”, tends to oppose talking about men’s issues or seeing them as relevant for gender equality (p. 306). Feminism: Certain influential varieties of feminism see women as the disadvantaged and discriminated gender (p. 247). Thus the sole purpose of equality policy is women’s advancement (p. 256) and men are largely reduced to the role of defendant (p. 270). When faced with cases requiring a choice between promotion of equality and empowerment of women, many feminists reacted by rejecting equality as outdated or as a smokescreen for promoting men’s interests over women. Under these discourses, “the empowerment of women is more important than the advancement of gender equality in all contexts, including the matriarchal subsystem of the society” (pp. 259–260). That would apply even to women’s advantage in family courts and criminal courts (p. 305). Also mentioned is a combination (and mutation) of difference feminism and equality feminism which says that “women are superior to men in many ways, but men are not superior to women in any ways” (p. 296)—which means that when men are ahead it’s because of sexism, but when women are ahead it is legitimate and natural. The groups and alliances that justify misandry and discrimination against men (p. 334): 📷 Chapter 8: Gender Discrimination, According to the Complaints Sent to the Finnish Equality Ombudsman (p. 346) Complaints: This chapter analyzes 800 complaints of gender discrimination made between 1997 and 2004 and sent to the Finnish equality ombudsman (p. 348). Men were 33% of victims, according to the author’s suggestion for the best measure of actual discrimination in these cases (outcome types 3–5, p. 356). Labour market discrimination, the largest category, primarily involved women (76%), while the second largest category, discrimination against customers, primarily involved men (~60%). Another category, discriminative legislation, primarily involved men (77%). Few complaints were made, but due to active conscription policies (lasting 5-12 months), almost all men in Finland are affected by discriminative legislation. The author classifies these complaints as discrimination, although the equality ombudsman does not, “as the Finnish equality law is not applicable to men’s obligatory military service” (p. 354). Bias: Per chapter 6, equality policy itself is in the matriarchal subsystem of equality (e.g., 90% of employees in the equality ombudsman office are female, p. 354). The ombudsman has a policy not to comment on complaints involving custody and divorce, purportedly to not interfere with the court system, but the author suggests that it stems from a bias against men, perhaps due to prioritizing women’s status over equality or wanting to avoid a flood of complaints from men (p. 354). This is made more explicit by another comment from the ombudsman’s office saying that it is not taking action on certain cases of discrimination against men because “the main purpose of the equality law is to improve women’s status especially in the labor market”, suggesting that the law should be applied more strictly to cases of discrimination against women (p. 381). Patriarchal & matriarchal subsystems: 57% of discrimination cases in the matriarchal subsystem of society (as defined in chapter 6) were against men, compared to 31% in neutral domains, and 17% in the patriarchal subsystem of society (p. 358). Discrimination examples: Many cases of discrimination against women (e.g., a workplace that only required women to do extra cleaning tasks on top of their regular duties) are recounted on the same pages but we’ll look at men here.
In the labour market: At a mental hospital, only men were appointed to night shifts (p. 374). At a school, preference was given to hiring female teachers even though men are the “underrepresented” gender (p. 376). Many traditionally feminine jobs excluded men in their recruitment material (p. 377). A workplace allowed women to wear more casual and comfortable clothing than men (p. 377).
As customers: Favourable pricing for women in boat cruises, discotheques & dancing places, dating services, gymnastics, a theatre, restaurants, horse races, and car insurance (pp. 380–382). Also more strict clothing standards for men at a casino, higher minimum ages for men to enter restaurants, and an apartment that only allowed women (pp. 382–383).
Government administration: Subsidy for women’s osteoporosis medicines but not men’s (from pension fund), free public screening for breast cancer but not prostate cancer, higher retirement age for men (which has been changed) (pp. 387–389).
Legislation: Men’s complaints were all about the obligatory military or civil service of six to thirteen months (those who refuse get six months in prison, p. 390).
Likely motives: Two alternative rating methods (tables 52 and 53) find that either (certain) feminist ideas are the most common motivators of discrimination against men, or sexism and the feminine bias are the most common motivators (feminine bias meaning unintentional gender bias of groups of women, counterpart to masculine bias of groups of men). Financial motives were also frequent (pp. 401-402). SOURCE: https://becauseits2015.wordpress.com/2017/10/22/comprehensive-research-on-discrimination-against-men-in-finland/
I want to get off of Mad Ahab's Wild Ride. Continuing my commentary on Moby Dick with chapters 37-44. The image of the ungraspable phantom of life IS the key to it all, and that is the one thing Ahab can't grasp.
Original post, with commentaries on the first 9 chapters, chapters 10-24, chapters 25-36 ——— CHAPTER 37 Now that Ahab has formed his death cult, he soliloquizes—and Ishmael is either eavesdropping or fabricating, but either way he means to convey the spirit of the man if not his letter. Ahab's voyage through life leaves "pale waters, paler cheeks" in his wake, sowing chaos wherever he goes yet where he goes he goes with unobstructed course and direction. His ripples are smoothed over by the billowing envy of men, but he cares not; he cares not for monuments and memorials, no, only for deeds done and the merit he acquires for himself in his own eyes. For when the sun sets, his "soul mounts up!"—his task as unceasing as the day-and-night cycle, but his soul reflecting not the light of the sun as the moon, but weighing on him with his task like the "Iron Crown of Lombardy", a small crown forged from the nail of Jesus' cross, the weight of sacrifice Ahab's to bear. The clouds that set on his brow are no object; his Atlantean task is the crucifixion he bears, having been dismasted and reborn. He fancies himself not the son of God, but His equal in will and war, Satan made a man—set apart from the rest in charisma and intelligence, cloistering himself in his superlative ambitions whose reach leaves no room for human connection, and indeed actively forsake it through hard-hearted, eloquent guile that convinces pragmatic men to stake their lives on his goal. Ahab must've had a perverse spiritual awakening while he lay dying, paved by his education, but instead of becoming a prophet and trying to speak God's truth, he's become the mad king whose words are iron spun like gold, who mistakes his enlightenment for alienation because he's unwilling to share it. Rather, he's content to dismiss those who disapprove of him and to brood about what he lacks: the simple pleasures of casual conversation, light-hearted humor, basking in sunlight,—"damned! most subtly and most malignantly! damned in the midst of Paradise!", his soul hibernating to incubate horrors. Ahab reflects that leaguing his men was "not so hard a task", since he'd apparently convinced everyone—though Ishmael neglected to share how or if he was moved by the speech—to give their loyalty to him, even Starbuck who thought him mad, but Ahab, verging on self-awareness, declares:
I’m demoniac, I am madness maddened! That wild madness that’s only calm to comprehend itself!
Where Ahab goes, there turbulence will be in his wake, so long as his grandiose task remains his ultimate goal. The men's diversity doesn't faze him:
my one cogged circle fits into all their various wheels, and they revolve.
High aloft, Ahab can view and move men as "ant-hills of powder", ignitable thanks to Ahab's own fire, that makes his seldom-used pillow into an oven-baked brick. This hellfire leads Ahab to proclaim his apotheosis:
I now prophesy that I will dismember my dismemberer. Now, then, be the prophet and the fulfiller one. That’s more than ye, ye great gods, ever were.
Where gods use fate and fortune to move men on the world as their gameboard to achieve their ends, transcendent and detached, Ahab is both player and piece, and strives to cast out fate from within and retake fortune to his own whim and will, to become a self-moved mover. Ahab's soliloquy includes a direct challenge to the gods:
come and see if ye can swerve me. Swerve me? ye cannot swerve me, else ye swerve yourselves! man has ye there.
Ahab fancies himself a river, faithful to the ungraspable impermanence of life, yes, but immovable in his self-set course, the iron rails of his destiny laid out in defiance of all forms of fate other than his own:
Naught’s an obstacle, naught’s an angle to the iron way!
Ahab doesn't consider that even his actions could be part of providence, for he's excluded all other purposes than piercing the masked dark of Plato's cave as paths to fulfillment. Active commitment to misery, nothing to blunt it, as though this iron way would falter and betray its fragility otherwise. ——— CHAPTER 38 Starbuck sees Ahab's "impious end", but has been so overwhelmed that Ahab's charisma may well be a new form of fate befitting the quest for apotheosis we're seeing unfolding:
the ineffable thing has tied me to him; tows me with a cable I have no knife to cut.
Starbuck bemoans that Ahab's chief source of hypocrisy is that he would treat his superiors to democracy—though, from the last chapter, only to outwit them, the gods, on an even playing field—but everyone else to his despotism. Starbuck saw Ahab's "lurid woe", a weight that would crush him or any other man to bear, a violent and contagious atheism that Starbuck believes forced him "to obey, rebelling"—to rebel against God, by obeying the man who stands against Him. But God isn't jealous or petty, Starbuck reasons, so He may forgive Ahab and ensure that they never cross paths with the white whale. That's a pittance of hope, after seeing Ahab's determination, and Starbuck isn't ready to acknowledge that despite the leaden, locked weight of his heart evidencing plainly enough that he has no hope of Ahab's woe dissipating before his success or failure. This really is the Dusk of Starbuck's soul; his "soul beat down and held to knowledge,—as wild, untutored things are forced to feed", he awakens to the horrors of the voyage: the "heathenish crew", the white whale as their "demigorgon"—an abyssal, creative god likely synonymous with the forbidden demiurge—, even the water itself taking on "wolfish" and "sharkish" qualities whose howl hunts Ahab, drawn along in the aft by the "gay, embattled, bantering bow"—the ship itself gradating from sunny to tenebrous while the vast deep latches onto Starbuck's newfound paranoia. Starbuck finds his hope in finding the horrors outwards, enabling him to fight the "grim, phantom futures" "with the soft feeling of the human in [him]". Starbuck might just have the guts for a mutiny at this rate, finding it in him to defy Ahab's blasphemous fate. ——— CHAPTERS 39&40 With more stageplay directives, Stubb soliloquizes about how
a laugh’s the wisest, easiest answer to all that’s queer; and come what will, one comfort’s always left—that unfailing comfort is, it’s all predestinated.
Carefree Stubb is trying to take in stride the outcomes of this voyage, outcomes that are out of his hands, no matter what they be, refracting Starbuck's newfound horror and finding the "waggish leering" that lurks in it—for now Starbuck has received the same treatment that Stubb did, and both men now share in some of the burning light that Ahab harbors, slight shares that were yet enough to send both spiraling into existential crises of reflection—on fate and death and God—higher than either would otherwise ever take interest in. Whereas Starbuck responded by renewing his courage, Stubb reacts with forced, delirious humor, conflating it with wisdom, trying to abate his worry about not being able to return to his family, his love bubbling up—light, gay, and fleeting—like alcoholic froth to be swallowed down. The aside directive when Stubb is summoned from his nightwatch by Starbuck seems like a fourth-wall break, if that concept means anything for a non-play acting like a play—but it makes this scene feel surreal. Uh, the whole crew of watchmen gets a musical scene, those awake filliped and those asleep deadened by the wine of Ahab's charisma—despite having no choice in their assigned roles, each man has to make peace with his newfound sense of inevitability, one sailor trying to invite the sleepers up with the pronouncement that now is "the resurrection; they must kiss their last, and come to judgment." This chapter is a full-fledged song-and-dance play-script, and Ishmael didn't bother learning many sailors' names—only their ethnicities—despite knowing the mother's maiden name and backstory of many other characters. One is even named "3D Nantucket Sailor"; so glad he's not a flatlander. Tashtego mocks the song-and-dance, and the old Manx sailor wonders whether they have any idea what they're dancing over. The "whole world's a ball" and the course is set and fixed, so let them, green and jolly, let them celebrate and drink life while it's still brimming and frothing. Some of them are already horny and lonely, commiserating over the lack of women to distract themselves from a coming storm—the first karmic storm of Ahab's death cult, perhaps. Ahab has no fear of storms; worse, his direction is to attack the squalls—"fire your ship right into it!" The storm darkens angrily, a formation in the sky like Ahab's birthmark: "lurid-like, ye see, all else pitch black." Daggoo, "quarried out of [blackness]", takes offense to this fear of the storm's dark, but grimly assents when told that his "race is the undeniable dark side of mankind", the same sailor provoking him into a fight. "Knife thee heartily! big frame, small spirit!" The crew eggs them on; the whole scene is frenzied. "A row a’low, and a row aloft—Gods and men—both brawlers!" A recreation of the arena in which "Cain struck Abel. Sweet work, right work! No? Why then, God, mad’st thou the ring?" The Manxman questions why God created the conditions for violence and then discouraged it. The stormy climate keeps cutting off the thoughts the sailors try to express, leaving loose-ended, half-baked confusion—and the fight is interrupted by urgent orders to prepare for the oncoming squalls, their white froth every bit as ominous as the black storm overhead, yet to Pip less so than the white squalls of the maddened men seeking now the white whale. Timid Pip prays to "thou big white God" to save him from the men whose fear has been overridden by drunken courage, which is doing no good for the race relations aboard the ship. The chaos of this chapter sets up the ironic contrasts between black and white—both foreboding and hostile to many—in man and God and nature. ——— CHAPTER 41 Aha, Ishmael admits that he too was taken in by Ahab's charisma:
A wild, mystical, sympathetical feeling was in me; Ahab’s quenchless feud seemed mine.
But Ishmael had a sympathy, whether unrelated or pretextual, before even meeting Ahab; this is halfway to what he wanted, a noble part in a great tragedy. After immersing himself in the death cult, Ishmael gathered all the information he could about the white whale, how it "haunted those uncivilized seas mostly frequented by the Sperm Whale fishermen", how it evaded capture in both body and idea because of the scattered, prolonged, uncoordinated trajectories of the whaling vessels, and how "as of late" attacks by sperm whales "of great ferocity, cunning, and malice" were frequent. Instead of possibilities like sperm whales who survived whalers becoming hostile toward shy, or the ocean itself starting to reject its guests, Ishmael jumps to the conclusion that every such report must have been an encounter with the whale. Since sperm whales are terrifying enough, few thought anything special about Ahab's tale, sharing Starbuck's stance about it being a "dumb brute", despite bouts with this whale leading to calamitous bad luck that ensured it always slipped away with minimal damage. Sailors' proneness to superstition allowed rumors of Moby Dick to circulate and metastasize "as the smitten tree gives birth to its fungi"—whalers in particular, being likeliest of all to be "brought into contact with whatever is appallingly astonishing in the sea", exactly what is needed to stimulate the imagination and birth a modern myth, an urban legend spanning most of the watery part of the globe that eventually made otherwise daring hunters outright refuse to give chase to that whale, perhaps the greatest portend of bad luck any seaman could come across, hinting as it did of "supernatural agencies" and "morbid hints" beyond the scope of a normal sperm whale's destructive aggression. Ishmael accuses of "professional inexperience, or incompetency, or timidity" anyone who would avoid hunting a sperm whale while willingly pursuing other large whales, as though the tests of mettle such whales pose are relatively unremarkable—perhaps as a rite of passage, for being able to challenge and usurp the monarchs of the sea. Non-American whalers—thus those less ambitious in their ambits—had seldom encountered sperm whales except in fairytales, but those who did demystified their stories only to trade them for confrontations with the sublime, "pre-eminent tremendousness" of the real deal, sperm whales in this setting reported as being unanimously anxiogenic and malicious to everything else in the sea—despite sperm whales having been elusive, hence the bowhead whales popularly regarded as the monarchs of the sea. That slipperiness and shyness has given way now that Americans dare to graze the whole ocean surface to exploit its oily, blubbery resources. While "the general experiences in the fishery" amended some of the overblown rumors, such as that sperm whales were so scary that their mere presence caused other fish to kill themselves, the worst sperm whales had to offer ever renewed the superstitions that condensed into the myth of Moby Dick, which nevertheless many men were hardy (or foolhardy) enough to push themselves through for monetary gain were they to "chase and point lance at such an apparition". Claims of encounters with a monstrous whale at the same time at faraway places created the fancy that the white whale was ubiquitous or, perhaps courtesy of a hollow Earth with expedient currents, unfathomably fast; and that it was immortal, or possessed of such great durability and regeneration that it might as well be. One of Moby Dick's distinct features is a "pyramidical white hump", like the unkickable pyramid Stubb's dream used to symbolize Ahab, or even the ancient pyramids used for astronomical panoramas, encompassing in one view the starry sky. Whereas the jarring storm in the last chapter was fearsome for its blackness, this whale's whiteness is the storm's complement: black storm descending from the heavens of the white God, white whale ascending from the hells of the black abyss; dark, Satanic Ahab with his white wake there to meet both head-on at their point of convergence, the limen of the surface. While the whale's magnitude and hue were unsettling enough, it was its "intelligent malignity", displaying abstract reasoning enough to deceive and escape all whalers theretofore, that reached through the wall of the mythos to strike fear into the hearts of listeners. What kind of whale acts routed to lure whaleboats after it, only to suddenly spring on them and stove or repel them? And in marked contrast with the "serene, exasperating sunlight, that smiled on, as if at a birth or a bridal"—as shipwreck and lost limbs lay strewn about. Moby Dick is not just a killer; it might be an artist with a keen sense of irony. It lured Ahab in such a way, and "swam before him as the monomaniac incarnation of all those malicious agencies which some deep men feel eating in them"—malice "to whose dominion even the modern Christians ascribe one-half of the worlds". To Ahab, vengeance has not just the appeal of piercing the fatal wall of Plato's cave, but of purging the world of an idea of evil, as if will and fury could localize such a subtle and vast sweep into one body.
He piled upon the whale’s white hump the sum of all the general rage and hate felt by his whole race from Adam down; and then, as if his chest had been a mortar, he burst his hot heart’s shell upon it.
Where Ahab errs most, apart from misunderstanding that the symbolism of literary monsters doesn't work like that—that would be some fine magic if it did—, is that he even sets himself against "all truth with malice in it", refusing to accept the essential reality of evil and in part thereby partaking in evil with his sacrificial machinations. In Ishmael's mind, Ahab heaped on the whale all of the rage and hate felt in human history—not just toward whales, thus not just against the morale of Jonah's fable, but all sense of injustice, man the measure and maker of moral means and meanings. Ahab's wrath toward the whale began as any other man's, festering in his anguish on the passage home, strapped in a straitjacket because of his lunatic outbursts, to turn him into who he is now:
then it was, that his torn body and gashed soul bled into one another; and so interfusing, made him mad.
His bronze, hollow body is the result of optimal decoction to blur the mind-body—and also idea-object—gap, enabling the grandiosity of his plans, himself the cult leader to execute them, his agency turned to instrumentality as he locked himself into the cogwheel of the fate he set for himself, his version of freedom, here—if I am interpreted "living instrument" right—a form of servitude baser and weaker than that of heeding God's plan. And with the bindings of his charisma, those he entrains into his orbit are heretics who lose all of the merit of faith and gain what? Gain the glory, fleeting and perhaps phantasmic, of following a great man? Lose themselves in the constitution of the mythos pseudo-prophetic Ishmael weaves them and himself into? Ishmael withholds a straight description of Ahab's role, declaring it "vain to popularize profundities, and all truth is profound." Ahab's "whole awful essence" resides deep underground, a captive king with a broken throne, mocked by the gods he equals himself to, a pillar holding up history and the upper earth with his frozen brow—frozen by the Cocytus, perhaps, the lamentational river commemorating the doom wrought by knowing betrayal. Ahab caught glimpse of his state:
all my means are sane, my motive and my object mad.
—yet he lacked the power to alter truth, only to deceiving men about his sanity—or, as Peleg, happily overlooking his moodiness for the whales it would butcher. This chapter is called "Moby Dick", but there is no Moby Dick without Ahab, nor Ahab, however superlative and unsaintly, without Moby Dick. And there would be no mad Ahab if any aboard the Pequod had seen through his ruses, nor if any of the mates were more than "morally enfeebled"—Starbuck with his "unaided virtue" (and lying about having no-one on his ship who doesn't fear whales, when literally the other three officers don't fear whales), Stubb's "indifference and recklessness" (from being a druggie with little respect for life or thought of death), and Flask's "pervading mediocrity" (from treating the whaling enterprise as a sadistic comedy show). None of them were a match for Ahab's bewitching "evil magic" that struck in their impious chests the fear of God—but no god other than Ahab himself, whose forcible contagion of his vendetta may well have been telepathy. Ishmael doesn't even try to explain how this all fits together, nor does he show guilt or shame about having been taken in in like manner himself, only admitting that he gave himself "to the abandonment of the time and the place"—to a feud that Ahab's madness made timeless, spanning the history of mankind, against a monster coeval and co-evil with mankind, who could be at once many places on the globe. One part of Ahab knows well what he's doing is futile and atrocious; another part thinks that he's tallying the debt of the original sin with the premium fetched by butchering the whale incarnating all sources and targets of human wrath, those perhaps being God's wrath—such an infinite task that the sacrifice of a handful of men seems a fair price, if not a pittance, for its accomplishment.
The subterranean miner that works in us all, how can one tell whither leads his shaft by the ever shifting, muffled sound of his pick?
Ishmael is unequipped to analyze the unconscious, inward, homuncular workings of fate—but his instincts told him to learn about Ahab before boarding, and he didn't listen. ——— CHAPTER 42 Ishmael moves on to explaining what the white whale was to him, on top of being his primary motive for sailing. "It was the whiteness of the whale that above all things appalled me." Leaning fully into the mystical monster motif, Ishmael shudders to articulate the whale's horror in comprehensible terms, and starts by outlining the broadest contours of it with his symbolic associations to whiteness: beauty, royalty—Ahab's sultanism is conveniently unmentioned—, the white man's "ideal mastership over every dusky tribe", joy and gladness, innocence, "the benignity of age"—in stark contrast with Ahab's iron grey iron way—, honor, "the majesty of Justice in the ermine of the Judge", "divine spotlessness and power", and even redemption—all of these, more or less relevant to the whale, pale in comparison to the terror that raw whiteness untamed by any of these contexts, thus marring them with its irony and dissonance, produces, such as from polar bears—"invested in the fleece of celestial innocence and love"—or great-white sharks, their silent lethality earning them in French a name connoting (with no etymological basis) requiems, or angelic albatrosses, "whence come those clouds of spiritual wonderment and pale dread". For Ishmael, the albatross, thanks to its vast range, is a reminder of "the miserable warping memories" of civilization, compounded by his witnessing of one being captured and forced to send a letter, a holy messenger demoted to a mailman. Most of Ishmael's associations with whiteness have been to things integral to modern civilization, their meaning and primacy challenged by the great animals that have borne white and its terrible significance since the dawn of Adam. He even calls the white steed an "apparition of that unfallen, western world"—whiteness becomes a reminder of the immaculate debt, not one blotch made in it by the whole monumental passion of humanity's lineage, accrued from the original sin. The religious whiteness attests to this: that becoming like God means donning white clothes, which admits to being far from God, constituting such practices as pretensions. Whiteness is the unattainable moral purity that people think they strive for, yet ever fall short of, unable to find grace or glory from within and trying to recreate and master it with their trinkets, their incapacity to do so forced upon them in the encounter with a white apex predator. The white symbols of dominance take this further: under the guise of bringing moral purity, restricted to their faction under their flag, people's conquests abstract them ever-more from whiteness of soul, often while blaming their victims' blackness of skin for everyone's blackness of sin—spiritual death. Ishmael even regards albino people as more abhorrent than disabled or black people, but segues back into the whiteness of death: white squalls that strike abruptly to wreck ships, the "marble pallor" of corpses, ghostly fog, death as the "king of terrors". White is uncanny, its portend of things being out-of-place a subtle resonance with what is unhomely in ourselves, what our bodies and souls can't home that we would like them to—enduring physical and moral vitality. Ahab aims to use his overwhelming physical vitality to remove moral vitality from the equation of human flourishing. Ishmael invokes "hooded" and "phantom" several times each here, hearkening back to his reference in the first chapter to the white whale as a "grand hooded phantom, like a snow-hill in the air"—Ishmael makes little use of snow in his associations, but the eerie quiet and concealment it provides is implicated in each case. The subtle and sublime terror of whiteness is complementary to that of a raging storm, and can manifest even to the uneducated in a mention of the White Suntide of the descent of the Holy Spirit to prognosticate the tidings of the end times, blurring the life-and-death boundary with karmic, salvific promises. The phantasmic quality of whiteness may also point to all of this religious talk as being smoke and fog, empty distractions from the possibility that what follows death is nothing but eternal paralytic silence, no grand unity, no pearly gates at the end of a successful redemption arc—Ishmael's rambling is so unfocused that it comes across as him deliberately avoiding drawing connections like these, as though the powers of whiteness he's evoking are seeping into his own words to his own eyes. And that's a funny thing: he's writing on white paper, his creative act blemishing it with black ink—which is a lousy substitute for the black blood of the white whale—, but that interplay, the creativity and communication indissociable from the whiteness of paper, is not brought up. Ishmael contents himself with claiming that certain white entities have significant effects on people, but not why unless the explanation is palatable—the ironic dissonance of the white predators can transfer over to these religious and other symbols, but their analogous implications would be far more calamitous to Ishmael's already-infirm faith, faith that has consistently been sublated by, and thus subordinated to, whaling—all of these symbolic resonances comprise a collage of the panoramic white whale, of its mere surface, already vast and haunting enough, and which Ishmael is suspiciously reluctant to try to penetrate despite having the intelligence and experience to. This surficial contouring takes the shape of avoidance, which can only be achieved by his subterranean miner knowing the position of what lurks in the volcanic depths of his unconscious. Ishmael often relates whiteness to gripping or stimulating the imagination, such as an artist would appreciate, but he showed in chapter one that he understands the import of context in artistry—water unique in its motion being tranquil—, context lacking here through nondifferentiation, a polyphony whose sheer pluripotential is cacophonous. In the disaster-stricken city of Lima, white's purity "keeps her ruins for ever new; admits not the cheerful greenness of complete decay"—there is the irony of Lima connoting lime-green, and perhaps of death's horse being chlorine-green. Where green signals change, the freshening of death-and-rebirth cycles, white is timeless, locks its pallid corpses in marble tombs to be forever silent. White is also impotent by itself, but exacerbates the terrible effects of entities it manifests in; white is ungraspable, no less than any other color, because it can only be apprehended through a white thing with a white context given to it that excludes other possible resonances, doubly so for the unimaginative mind—would a sailor near shore feel trepid at white water because of its whiteness or because of the stoving rocks it may conceal? What about the "boundless churchyard" of Antarctic seas, a desolation in which it would be too easy to lose oneself? Ishmael defends himself from the hypothetical accusation of this chapter being "a white flag hung out from a craven soul" by citing instinctual knowledge "of the demonism of the world", which implies that anyone who doesn't share his fear is both unimaginative and ignorant—unknown unknowing, unlike his known unknowing.
Though in many of its aspects this visible world seems formed in love, the invisible spheres were formed in fright.
Whiteness is a harpooneer of the void, piercing the soul with "the thought of annihilation", "a dumb blankness, full of meaning", "a colorless, all-colour of atheism", the truth behind the meretricious veil of coloration—the "mystical cosmetic" of light is white, its mediums birthing color. White is the splendor of God and the pallor of His absence, the lack of an in-between, the profound, profane indistinction between the two, and the metaphysic impli(cat)ed thereby. Ishmael has well-earned his mic drop: "And of all these things the Albino whale was the symbol. Wonder ye then at the fiery hunt?" ——— CHAPTERS 43&44 During a night-watch, a sailor circulates gossip about stowaways, with a hint that Ahab knows of them, and that the mates know he knows of them. This seems to refer back to the ghosts Ishmael and Elijah saw running to the Pequod very early—and since the ship was locked-up tight, if these were fleshy people, someone had to let them in, someone privy to the schedules of the final preparations. And someone else earlier pointed out how Ahab regularly slinks off for clandestine meetings, which would imply that Ahab boarded those hidden people, and convinced them one way or another to devote three years of their lives to him. I assume these would be consultants or hunters, men to help with Ahab's quest and whom he can trust where he doesn't trust Starbuck or anyone else on the crew, who think him mad or lack ability. They could also be ghosts, especially after the recent monologue about spectral whiteness. Ahab also spends a lot of his time with his chart, trying to map out the currents of the globe as precisely as he can, in relation to all the documented positions of sperm whales he could acquire. The lamp, suspended in chains overhead, is emblematic of his conscience—as we've been conditioned to associate lamplight with moral compasses—, shackled to light on his sole purpose. Ahab knows of the migratory clockwork of sperm whales, the exactness of their instincts' directions—or "secret intelligence from the Deity"—far surpassing that of any navigational instrument, and tried to lay out the best spots to sail throughout the year for the best chances of crossing paths with a vein of sperm whales containing the white whale—Ahab the prospector of the pale mask concealing the gears of the gods of the world. Even with all the information at his disposal, this needle-in-a-haystack would seem hopeless to anyone with less than absolute faith in their resourcefulness and the worthiness of their cause. Ahab's determination turns impossible odds into probabilities, "every probability the next thing to a certainty", a miracle in the making. While the sightings of Moby Dick gave no guarantee that it would reappear in those places the same time of year, an area called the Season-on-the-Line had seen the whale at regular times for several years straight: "there the waves were storied with his deeds; there also was that tragic spot where the monomaniac old man had found the awful motive to his vengeance." The Pequod missed the interval for the SotL this year, so she will have to spend the next almost-year "in a miscellaneous hunt" with non-zero but unflattering odds of a fateful encounter with the white whale along the way. Moby Dick is utterly singular, so the matter of recognizing it was no issue—even the harpooneers know well what it looks like. Ahab routinely works himself into torments of faintness dwelling on the whale, and his time spent on the deck in open air is just a recovery period between being able to brood and chart and maybe consort with his ghost passengers. It was common for Ahab's nightmares to jolt him awake:
these spiritual throes in him heaved his being up from its base, and a chasm seemed opening in him, from which forked flames and lightnings shot up, and accursed fiends beckoned him to leap down among them
—incubating this inward hell is the source and secret of Ahab's monstrous power, but these outbursts stemmed from his soul, dissociated in sleep from the iron leash of his mind to flee from his purpose, which had gained "self-assumed, independent being of its own", that malign purpose incarnating both Prometheus and his vultures gnawing away his spirit's organs, leaving it "without an object to colour, and therefore a blankness in itself." Ahab is the very monster he's promised to destroy, bending not just fate but chance and spirit to his will, and so gripped by trauma that his freedom of will—or its exercise here—is dubious at best. ——— After chapter 42, The Whiteness of the Whale, it felt like everything had fallen into place, all of the physical and philosophical set-up accomplished. I was so moved by chapter 42 that I am only halfway joking when I want to label Moby Dick a horror story. Melville understands how literary monsters work on a profound level that, conceptually, no one I'm aware of even comes close to. All of Ishmael's loose threads collaging the immeasurable surface of the monster, and then how they were abruptly and marvelously tied together near the end with the nucleus of a legitimate metaphysic—I was floored. One thing that often elevates epics above other works is their usage of metaphysics rounding out their cosmology and permeating their entire world with the story's thematic values. (My sample size is admittedly small, but Dante and Milton do this as well.) In this case, whiteness is the indissoluble, all-or-nothing tension between God and no God, and the existential dread people hide from or expose themselves to with their positive and negative symbols of whiteness. I had these commentaries written up a few days ago and read ahead, and I totally lost steam for coming up with new, enriching things to say. This will be my last post on Moby Dick for a while, I think. If I strain myself to squeeze meaning that just isn't flowing fairly organically to me, I'm worried that I'll not only stop enjoying the ride but also that my pacing will grind to a halt. And I've already spent just about a month reading this. It's certainly worth three months if this level of quality is consistent throughout, but forcing myself to commentate on it daily is just needless stress. And like I said, the end of chapter 42 felt like a tipping point. That said, Ahab has shot up into my top-5 favorite characters. Everything he says is pure gold, and his borderline-supernatural powers are written in such a compelling and reasonable way that he edges out Milton's Satan, another top-5er for me, in some respects because of how grounded he is and how direct his influence and its consequences are. This is what people probably imagine cult leaders are like, and the fact that cult leaders do exist makes Ahab's abilities plausible even if I've never met anyone who came close to being able to do what he does. The fact that his purpose became a self-sufficient thoughtform in the same area as his mind and soul, and not just that but led his soul to try to break free from his body, is chilling—and his self-awareness craftily maneuvers so as to never lead him to a genuine epiphany, totally detached from the implications of the words Ishmael puts in his mouth he thinks he believes. Here is a man at war with himself, with his fellow men, with the world, with God, and with the possibility of the absence of God. His situation reminds me of one of the times (73-78) Satan almost comes off his warpath:
Me miserable! which way shall I flieInfinite wrauth, and infinite despaire?Which way I flie is Hell; my self am Hell;And in the lowest deep a lower deepStill threatning to devour me opens wide,To which the Hell I suffer seems a Heav'n.
He's staked his identity so deeply in his retribution against God and fate that if he gave that up he would have a very, very long road to redemption. Despite his capacity, he is hollow; from the start, he was prepared to abandon his family, sacrifice his crew, and do absolutely anything necessary to strike into the depths of the heart of the world. At the same time, his moral failures are why Ishmael is here writing this story. There's enough foreshadowing to conclude that the Pequod is going to sink because of Moby Dick and Ahab's brazen tyranny, which means that Ishmael survived to tell the story. Is there a reason for that, somewhere in the tangled white knot of various concepts of fate that have been threaded together and in which free will, foreknowledge, and chance have snaked their ways? A project as large as this novel implies that he found his will to live, if he's sitting down and committing to it; and it's not a project that would be feasible to work on at sea, with how hard sailors seem to be worked. Moreover, someone would need a compelling reason to undertake such a story. Whatever happened to Ishmael on the voyage must've been something profound. The paradoxical, inexhaustible, and ambiguous nature of the whale itself hearkens all the way back to the image of the ungraspable phantom of life in which Narcissus drowned in the first chapter, the transient self-image that obsesses and beckons us, that compels us to understand while tantalizing us with how it is nothing but a reflection on a surface—no depth, not even the solidity of being a surface. If these depths are accessible, they are so in a form that frustrates any efforts to capture them in definitive, plain language. I mean, if Ishmael had a straightforward message for us he would've been an essayist or preacher and not a doorstopper novelist. Taking us on this massive journey, charged with his embellishments and astute digressions, seems to be his way of leading us to glimpse the mystical, mythical experience that inspired his writing this. He attributed to Bulkington the transcendence participated in through a violent death at sea, through being consumed by the intolerable truth of that ungraspability, that abjuration of all solid ground, which, taken for truth, is treacherous, a lure that ensures doom while assuring lee—lee that can mean either shelter or dregs (the body being the lees of Ishmael's better being), and the lee shore turning the lee into something to avoid at all costs. Ishmael's obsession has often felt like him being bitter that he's wasted the rest of his life trying to glimpse that transcendence, and that level of obsession, particularly with its outright disregard for knowledge and reasoning he undoubtedly had access to, would only be sparked by a direct encounter with it, and marinated only by having the temperament and mindset to reflect on it—exactly what occurred to Ahab and twisted him into a human Satan. That also implies that a lot of the digressions are Ishmael trying to catch us up to his mindset to be able to receive his prophetic message in a meaningful form. So yeah, I fully intend to finish this novel, but play-by-plays are off the table now for at least a while. I've also been feeling terrible, like, pretty much since late November, and the last week (basically right after I finished chapter 42) or so I've been spiraling, with very little mental energy and clarity to spare. I want to try to do a more comprehensive commentary of the moral, existential, and religious landscape once I have more energy and have made more progress. Well, we'll see how that goes. I appreciate this community for giving me a supportive space in which to share my thoughts, as long-winded and amateurish as they are.
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