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Clarkson's Columns: "It's time you quit Furious Tweeters Anonymous" & "Up to my ears in Agri-Jargon"

It's time you quit Furious Tweeters Anonymous and joined me and the Trots for a quiet pint
By Jeremy Clarkson (Sunday Times, Oct. 25)
All this month, people have been talking about a new Netflix documentary called The Social Dilemma, in which a bunch of stubbly Californian tech start-up nerds on a guilt trip worry out loud about how the internet has been hijacked by enormous companies that are now using it to make — gulp — money.
They say that our phones constantly monitor what we do and who we talk to and what we say. And clever algorithms are used so advertisers can target their products and services at exactly the sort of people who might be interested. And this is what, exactly? A bad thing?
If you are a woman and you are experiencing lady problems, you do not want your Facebook feed to be full of ads for agricultural buildings. In the same way, I'm not the slightest bit interested in hearing about an exciting new breakthrough in tampon technology. Targeted advertising makes sense for all concerned, and if Facebook can make a few quid along the way, good luck to it.
"Ah, but," say our stubbly friends from California. "Exactly the same information-gathering and algorithms can be used by political parties to target undecided voters." And ... what's wrong with that? Seriously. What's the difference between doing that and dispatching some smiley dweeb with a clipboard and a pamphlet full of promises to the swing-state housing estates of Hemel Hempstead?
The Social Dilemma, however, did in the end touch fleetingly on a subject that's been troubling me for a little while now. That Google and Facebook and all social media will eventually cause every country on earth to be engulfed by a bloody civil war. Possibly about toothpaste.
When I was a reporter on the Rotherham Advertiser, I'd go for lunch most days with two people who were in the Workers Revolutionary Party. I liked them a lot, and I think they liked me, even though I was very obviously not a member of the Workers Revolutionary Party. We talked about politics, of course, and we'd argue in a good-natured way and then we'd have a couple more pints. And then we'd go back to work.
It was the same story with my dad. He didn't like my trousers and I did not like his. We didn't have similar taste in music either. He thought Dave Greenslade might be the devil. I thought Bach needed to cheer up. And we'd have lengthy debates about hair too. But we never actually fell out over any of it.
Today, though, things have changed, because we can engineer our lives so we rarely encounter anyone who thinks differently. You think you are chatting to your kids in the evening, but actually you're making noises while they're tuned into Radio Greta on social media.
We all follow like-minded souls on Twitter. We have WhatsApp groups, where we share jokes with others we know will find them funny. We watch whatever news channel echoes what we are thinking. We ignore those on Tinder who like Donald Trump, or those who eat meat or who do anything that doesn't belong in our opinion bubble.
That's why people were staggered when the country voted for Brexit. Remainers such as myself were surrounded by other remainers, so we thought everyone was a remainer. It's why everyone at the BBC was bowled over when Boris Johnson won such a massive majority. They couldn't believe it because absolutely everyone in their electronic lives voted for Jeremy Corbyn.
If you are a vegan, it's extremely likely that you will share vegan recipes with other vegans on social media. You may even share stories that say meat is murder and growing cows is destroying the ozone layer. So when you see a picture of a man eating an actual burger, you are horrified. Staggered. Because how could he be so obtuse?
You are going to send him a message, which, because social media allows you to dispense with the niceties of meeting face to face, will be extremely abusive. And then your friends are going to pile in until, eventually, burger man responds in kind and soon everyone is threatening to kill everyone's children.
If you don't believe me, tell someone under the age of 25 that we shouldn't be pulling down statues. But be warned, the response will be so unpretty your phone may well melt.
I don't think there's been a time when society is as divided as it is now. Women versus men. Black people versus white people. Rich versus poor. Right versus left. There are even heated and abusive online arguments about dental hygiene. And it's because people are always absolutely convinced by social media that they have the majority on their side.
The internet was built so you could get a pizza at four in the morning, and find out where James Garner was born while you're on a beach, but it's become home instead to levels of bigotry, rage and hatred not seen since the Trojans opened up that horse.
It will spill out on to the streets in time. It already has in America, where gangs of white supremacists, utterly convinced by social media that 94% of the world is on their side, are roaming around in packs, with Glocks on their thighs and an AR-15 rifle in the boot, just waiting for one of the nation's six Democrats to look at them funny.
The stubbly start-up nerds say it isn't possible to step back from the brink. They say we've created Skynet and that no one's going to come from the future to save us.
But I think it is possible. We just need to remove the cloak of anonymity behind which all social media users can hide. You used to need a licence to own a dog and could have had it taken away if you didn't treat it well. But anyone can go online and say anything they like to anyone in the world, completely safe in the knowledge that they will only ever be found by Heckler & Koch, which will send them an ad for its latest sub-machinegun.
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My bafflement is sprouting nicely: Pass me the scythe I'm up to my ears in agri-jargon and I don't understand a word
By Jeremy Clarkson (Sunday Times, Oct. 25)
I didn't think farming would be especially difficult. I figured that man had been growing crops for 12,000 years and that after such a long period it would be in our DNA. That it would be relaxing. Monty Donnish even. I'd plant seeds, weather would happen and food would grow.
In my mind, then, farming would mostly involve leaning on a gate while munching pensively on a delicious Dagwood Bumstead sandwich, or enjoying a late summer sundowner from behind the wheel of an air-conditioned tractor. It'd all be a festival of crusty bread, lemonade, fresh air and cider with Rosie. Followed by a cheery harvest festival and a big fat cheque from the EU.
I've learnt, however, that all of it is back-breaking and difficult, that there's never time for a ploughman's in the sunshine, that there's no cupholder in my tractor for sundowners or anything else and that to be a farmer you must be an agronomist, a meteorologist, a mechanic, a vet, an entrepreneur, a gambler, a workaholic, a politician, a marksman, a midwife, a tractor driver, a tree surgeon and an insomniac.
I am none of those things, which is why I spend every single evening with my nose buried in a copy of the countryside bible — Farmers Weekly. It's my new favourite thing.
I especially love the fertiliser and machinery adverts, because they all feature fifty-something men and they're all wearing checked shirts and zip-up gilets made from a material that exists only in agricultural supply shops. I want to buy everything they're advertising because it all looks so manly and proper.
The editorial is a bit different, though, because I can't really get my head round any of it. There will be a picture of some sheep, so I'll think, "Ah. I have sheep. I must read this." But after the second paragraph I have to give up and move on because I don't understand a single word.
I therefore switch to a piece about the new agriculture bill, but all I've taken in when I finish it is the sound of a voice inside my head saying, "Concentrate, Jeremy. This is important." The actual words? No. They've just swum about like fish.
I understand now how life is for people who think they might be interested in cars. They pick up a car magazine, and after five minutes they think that maybe the exciting front cover featuring a Porsche on full opposite lock was a con because the text inside seems to be about physics.
I can read about an electronic limited-slip differential and know what the writer means.
I know terms such as lift-off oversteer and axle tramp and torque steer and scuttle shake and I even have a fairly good idea what the motoring writer Gavin Green meant in Car magazine when he said the then new Toyota MR2 suffered from "tread shuffle"\*. For most people, though, this kind of language is gobbledygook.
We see the same problems today with Formula One. The commentators don't translate tech-speak such as "deg" for the viewers. They use it to demonstrate to the drivers and the engineers that they too are part of the inner circle. It annoys me — so, chaps, can you stop saying "box"? And use the word "pit" instead, because then people at home will know what the bloody hell you're on about.
This brings me on to the world of banking. Like a lot of people I have savings, and that means I occasionally have to speak with people called Rupert and Humphrietta. One said in a Zoom call recently that in the previous few months I hadn't "shot the lights out". I had no idea what she was on about. She then tried to sell me a "product", which, it turns out, is only a product in the way that a casino chip on red is a product. I could be wrong, but I'm in no position to know.
I turn occasionally to the Financial Times for assistance on these matters, but, like the car magazines and the F1 commentary, it's far too complicated. Which is why I mostly end up reading the superyacht reviews in the disgusting but strangely engrossing How to Spend It supplement.
I fear, however, that simplification isn't actually necessary in Farmers Weekly, because the readers don't need the jargon translated. When they read that ex-farm spot wheat values are averaging close to £176.50/t midweek, they know what the words mean and what the implications are. Me, though? Not a clue.
I have been writing these farming columns for six months and I have started buying all my clothes at StowAg, so quite often I'm stopped in the street by farmers wanting to know about the moisture content of my wheat or where I am on the idea of levying a carbon tax on farmers who finish their cattle after 27 months.
I have therefore become very skilled at nodding and then suddenly remembering that I must get in the car and go away.
The worry is that I want to learn how to speak farming, but I have no idea how this is possible. I don't have a boss who can take me under his wing, and while I have a land agent, who's brilliant, he is even more un-understandable than Farmers Weekly.
I could sign up for a three-year course at what is now, hilariously, called the Royal Agricultural University in Cirencester, but by the time I'd finished learning how to drive a Golf GTI up the steps and how to get home from Cheltenham after a particularly pissed-up day at the Gold Cup, I'd be too old to lean on gates or climb the ladder into my tractor.
Muddling on isn't really an option either, because when our EU money dries up in January, it's very obvious farmers are going to have to adopt a much more scientific approach to survive with dwindling government grants.
I already don't know how a potato grows, but soon it won't matter unless I can use chemicals and boffinry to grow four billion of them. I shall therefore drown in tech I don't understand and can't afford.
I have turned to the internet, of course, and it is neatly split between two approaches. Fantastically simple nonsense written by and for failed City boys who have two acres and a lamb. And head-spinningly complicated equations written by people into chem-porn at Monsanto.
And in the middle of all this there's me, who wants to make good food, well. I think I'm not alone. I think there are a lot of farmers like me who are bewildered and even a bit frightened by what they must do to survive. And I think you, round your breakfast tables, should be worried too.
Because when you take the art and the history and the simplicity out of farming, I suspect you may end up with a lot of food that doesn't taste very nice.
\* I actually don't know what "tread shuffle" means.
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And here's the Sun column: "The first real upside of this Covid business is that Halloween’s dead this year"
submitted by _Revelator_ to thegrandtour [link] [comments]

SKRIBBL WORD LIST

Pac-Man
bow
Apple
chest
six pack
nail
tornado
Mickey Mouse
Youtube
lightning
traffic light
waterfall
McDonalds
Donald Trump
Patrick
stop sign
Superman
tooth
sunflower
keyboard
island
Pikachu
Harry Potter
Nintendo Switch
Facebook
eyebrow
Peppa Pig
SpongeBob
Creeper
octopus
church
Eiffel tower
tongue
snowflake
fish
Twitter
pan
Jesus Christ
butt cheeks
jail
Pepsi
hospital
pregnant
thunderstorm
smile
skull
flower
palm tree
Angry Birds
America
lips
cloud
compass
mustache
Captain America
pimple
Easter Bunny
chicken
Elmo
watch
prison
skeleton
arrow
volcano
Minion
school
tie
lighthouse
fountain
Cookie Monster
Iron Man
Santa
blood
river
bar
Mount Everest
chest hair
Gumball
north
water
cactus
treehouse
bridge
short
thumb
beach
mountain
Nike
flag
Paris
eyelash
Shrek
brain
iceberg
fingernail
playground
ice cream
Google
dead
knife
spoon
unibrow
Spiderman
black
graveyard
elbow
golden egg
yellow
Germany
Adidas
nose hair
Deadpool
Homer Simpson
Bart Simpson
rainbow
ruler
building
raindrop
storm
coffee shop
windmill
fidget spinner
yo-yo
ice
legs
tent
mouth
ocean
Fanta
homeless
tablet
muscle
Pinocchio
tear
nose
snow
nostrils
Olaf
belly button
Lion King
car wash
Egypt
Statue of Liberty
Hello Kitty
pinky
Winnie the Pooh
guitar
Hulk
Grinch
Nutella
cold
flagpole
Canada
rainforest
blue
rose
tree
hot
mailbox
Nemo
crab
knee
doghouse
Chrome
cotton candy
Barack Obama
hot chocolate
Michael Jackson
map
Samsung
shoulder
Microsoft
parking
forest
full moon
cherry blossom
apple seed
Donald Duck
leaf
bat
earwax
Italy
finger
seed
lilypad
brush
record
wrist
thunder
gummy
Kirby
fire hydrant
overweight
hot dog
house
fork
pink
Sonic
street
Nasa
arm
fast
tunnel
full
library
pet shop
Yoshi
Russia
drum kit
Android
Finn and Jake
price tag
Tooth Fairy
bus stop
rain
heart
face
tower
bank
cheeks
Batman
speaker
Thor
skinny
electric guitar
belly
cute
ice cream truck
bubble gum
top hat
Pink Panther
hand
bald
freckles
clover
armpit
Japan
thin
traffic
spaghetti
Phineas and Ferb
broken heart
fingertip
funny
poisonous
Wonder Woman
Squidward
Mark Zuckerberg
twig
red
China
dream
Dora
daisy
France
Discord
toenail
positive
forehead
earthquake
iron
Zeus
Mercedes
Big Ben
supermarket
Bugs Bunny
Yin and Yang
drink
rock
drum
piano
white
bench
fall
royal
seashell
Audi
stomach
aquarium
Bitcoin
volleyball
marshmallow
Cat Woman
underground
Green Lantern
bottle flip
toothbrush
globe
sand
zoo
west
puddle
lobster
North Korea
Luigi
bamboo
Great Wall
Kim Jong-un
bad
credit card
swimming pool
Wolverine
head
hair
Yoda
Elsa
turkey
heel
maracas
clean
droplet
cinema
poor
stamp
Africa
whistle
Teletubby
wind
Aladdin
tissue box
fire truck
Usain Bolt
water gun
farm
iPad
well
warm
booger
WhatsApp
Skype
landscape
pine cone
Mexico
slow
organ
fish bowl
teddy bear
John Cena
Frankenstein
tennis racket
gummy bear
Mount Rushmore
swing
Mario
lake
point
vein
cave
smell
chin
desert
scary
Dracula
airport
kiwi
seaweed
incognito
Pluto
statue
hairy
strawberry
low
invisible
blindfold
tuna
controller
Paypal
King Kong
neck
lung
weather
Xbox
tiny
icicle
flashlight
scissors
emoji
strong
saliva
firefighter
salmon
basketball
spring
Tarzan
red carpet
drain
coral reef
nose ring
caterpillar
Wall-e
seat belt
polar bear
Scooby Doo
wave
sea
grass
pancake
park
lipstick
pickaxe
east
grenade
village
Flash
throat
dizzy
Asia
petal
Gru
country
spaceship
restaurant
copy
skin
glue stick
Garfield
equator
blizzard
golden apple
Robin Hood
fast food
barbed wire
Bill Gates
Tower of Pisa
neighborhood
lightsaber
video game
high heels
dirty
flamethrower
pencil sharpener
hill
old
flute
cheek
violin
fireball
spine
bathtub
cell phone
breath
open
Australia
toothpaste
Tails
skyscraper
cowbell
rib
ceiling fan
Eminem
Jimmy Neutron
photo frame
barn
sandstorm
Jackie Chan
Abraham Lincoln
T-rex
pot of gold
KFC
shell
poison
acne
avocado
study
bandana
England
Medusa
scar
Skittles
Pokemon
branch
Dumbo
factory
Hollywood
deep
knuckle
popular
piggy bank
Las Vegas
microphone
Tower Bridge
butterfly
slide
hut
shovel
hamburger
shop
fort
Ikea
planet
border
panda
highway
swamp
tropical
lightbulb
Kermit
headphones
jungle
Reddit
young
trumpet
cheeseburger
gas mask
apartment
manhole
nutcracker
Antarctica
mansion
bunk bed
sunglasses
spray paint
Jack-o-lantern
saltwater
tank
cliff
campfire
palm
pumpkin
elephant
banjo
nature
alley
fireproof
earbuds
crossbow
Elon Musk
quicksand
Playstation
Hawaii
good
corn dog
Gandalf
dock
magic wand
field
Solar System
photograph
ukulele
James Bond
The Beatles
Katy Perry
pirate ship
Poseidon
Netherlands
photographer
Lego
hourglass
glass
path
hotel
ramp
dandelion
Brazil
coral
cigarette
messy
Dexter
valley
parachute
wine glass
matchbox
Morgan Freeman
black hole
midnight
astronaut
paper bag
sand castle
forest fire
hot sauce
social media
William Shakespeare
trash can
fire alarm
lawn mower
nail polish
Band-Aid
Star Wars
clothes hanger
toe
mud
coconut
jaw
bomb
south
firework
sailboat
loading
iPhone
toothpick
BMW
ketchup
fossil
explosion
Finn
Einstein
infinite
dictionary
Photoshop
trombone
clarinet
rubber
saxophone
helicopter
temperature
bus driver
cello
London
newspaper
blackberry
shopping cart
Florida
Daffy Duck
mayonnaise
gummy worm
flying pig
underweight
Crash Bandicoot
bungee jumping
kindergarten
umbrella
hammer
night
laser
glove
square
Morty
firehouse
dynamite
chainsaw
melon
waist
Chewbacca
kidney
stoned
Rick
ticket
skateboard
microwave
television
soil
exam
cocktail
India
Colosseum
missile
hilarious
Popeye
nuke
silo
chemical
museum
Vault boy
adorable
fast forward
firecracker
grandmother
Porky Pig
roadblock
continent
wrinkle
shaving cream
Northern Lights
tug
London Eye
Israel
shipwreck
xylophone
motorcycle
diamond
root
coffee
princess
Oreo
goldfish
wizard
chocolate
garbage
ladybug
shotgun
kazoo
Minecraft
video
message
lily
fisherman
cucumber
password
western
ambulance
doorknob
glowstick
makeup
barbecue
jazz
hedgehog
bark
tombstone
coast
pitchfork
Christmas
opera
office
insect
hunger
download
hairbrush
blueberry
cookie jar
canyon
Happy Meal
high five
fern
quarter
peninsula
imagination
microscope
table tennis
whisper
fly swatter
pencil case
harmonica
Family Guy
New Zealand
apple pie
warehouse
cookie
USB
jellyfish
bubble
battery
fireman
pizza
angry
taco
harp
alcohol
pound
bedtime
megaphone
husband
oval
rail
stab
dwarf
milkshake
witch
bakery
president
weak
second
sushi
mall
complete
hip hop
slippery
horizon
prawn
plumber
blowfish
Madagascar
Europe
bazooka
pogo stick
Terminator
Hercules
notification
snowball fight
high score
Kung Fu
Lady Gaga
geography
sledgehammer
bear trap
sky
cheese
vine
clown
catfish
snowman
bowl
waffle
vegetable
hook
shadow
dinosaur
lane
dance
scarf
cabin
Tweety
bookshelf
swordfish
skyline
base
straw
biscuit
Greece
bleach
pepper
reflection
universe
skateboarder
triplets
gold chain
electric car
policeman
electricity
mother
Bambi
croissant
Ireland
sandbox
stadium
depressed
Johnny Bravo
silverware
raspberry
dandruff
Scotland
comic book
cylinder
Milky Way
taxi driver
magic trick
sunrise
popcorn
eat
cola
cake
pond
mushroom
rocket
surfboard
baby
cape
glasses
sunburn
chef
gate
charger
crack
mohawk
triangle
carpet
dessert
taser
afro
cobra
ringtone
cockroach
levitate
mailman
rockstar
lyrics
grumpy
stand
Norway
binoculars
nightclub
puppet
novel
injection
thief
pray
chandelier
exercise
lava lamp
lap
massage
thermometer
golf cart
postcard
bell pepper
bed bug
paintball
Notch
yogurt
graffiti
burglar
butler
seafood
Sydney Opera House
Susan Wojcicki
parents
bed sheet
Leonardo da Vinci
intersection
palace
shrub
lumberjack
relationship
observatory
junk food
eye
log
dice
bicycle
pineapple
camera
circle
lemonade
soda
comb
cube
Doritos
love
table
honey
lighter
broccoli
fireplace
drive
Titanic
backpack
emerald
giraffe
world
internet
kitten
volume
Spain
daughter
armor
noob
rectangle
driver
raccoon
bacon
lady
bull
camping
poppy
snowball
farmer
lasso
breakfast
oxygen
milkman
caveman
laboratory
bandage
neighbor
Cupid
Sudoku
wedding
seagull
spatula
atom
dew
fortress
vegetarian
ivy
snowboard
conversation
treasure
chopsticks
garlic
vacuum
swimsuit
divorce
advertisement
vuvuzela
Mr Bean
Fred Flintstone
pet food
upgrade
voodoo
punishment
Charlie Chaplin
Rome
graduation
beatbox
communism
yeti
ear
dots
octagon
kite
lion
winner
muffin
cupcake
unicorn
smoke
lime
monster
Mars
moss
summer
lollipop
coffin
paint
lottery
wife
pirate
sandwich
lantern
seahorse
Cuba
archer
sweat
deodorant
plank
Steam
birthday
submarine
zombie
casino
gas
stove
helmet
mosquito
ponytail
corpse
subway
spy
jump rope
baguette
grin
centipede
gorilla
website
text
workplace
bookmark
anglerfish
wireless
Zorro
sports
abstract
detective
Amsterdam
elevator
chimney
reindeer
Singapore
perfume
soldier
bodyguard
magnifier
freezer
radiation
assassin
yawn
backbone
disaster
giant
pillow fight
grasshopper
Vin Diesel
geyser
burrito
celebrity
Lasagna
Pumba
karaoke
hypnotize
platypus
Leonardo DiCaprio
bird bath
battleship
back pain
rapper
werewolf
Black Friday
cathedral
Sherlock Holmes
ABBA
hard hat
sword
mirror
toilet
eggplant
jelly
hero
starfish
bread
snail
person
plunger
computer
nosebleed
goat
joker
sponge
mop
owl
beef
portal
genie
crocodile
murderer
magic
pine
winter
robber
pepperoni
shoebox
fog
screen
son
folder
mask
Goofy
Mercury
zipline
wall
dragonfly
zipper
meatball
slingshot
Pringles
circus
mammoth
nugget
mousetrap
recycling
revolver
champion
zigzag
meat
drought
vodka
notepad
porcupine
tuba
hacker
broomstick
kitchen
cheesecake
satellite
JayZ
squirrel
leprechaun
jello
gangster
raincoat
eyeshadow
shopping
gardener
scythe
portrait
jackhammer
allergy
honeycomb
headache
Miniclip
Mona Lisa
cheetah
virtual reality
virus
Argentina
blanket
military
headband
superpower
language
handshake
reptile
thirst
fake teeth
duct tape
macaroni
color-blind
comfortable
Robbie Rotten
coast guard
cab driver
pistachio
Angelina Jolie
autograph
sea lion
Morse code
clickbait
star
girl
lemon
alarm
shoe
soap
button
kiss
grave
telephone
fridge
katana
switch
eraser
signature
pasta
flamingo
crayon
puzzle
hard
juice
socks
crystal
telescope
galaxy
squid
tattoo
bowling
lamb
silver
lid
taxi
basket
step
stapler
pigeon
zoom
teacher
holiday
score
Tetris
frame
garden
stage
unicycle
cream
sombrero
error
battle
starfruit
hamster
chalk
spiral
bounce
hairspray
lizard
victory
balance
hexagon
Ferrari
MTV
network
weapon
fist fight
vault
mattress
viola
birch
stereo
Jenga
plug
chihuahua
plow
pavement
wart
ribbon
otter
magazine
Bomberman
vaccine
elder
Romania
champagne
semicircle
Suez Canal
Mr Meeseeks
villain
inside
spade
gravedigger
Bruce Lee
gentle
stingray
can opener
funeral
jet ski
wheelbarrow
thug
undo
fabulous
space suit
cappuccino
Minotaur
skydiving
cheerleader
Stone Age
Chinatown
razorblade
crawl space
cauldron
trick shot
Steve Jobs
audience
time machine
sewing machine
face paint
truck driver
x-ray
fly
salt
spider
boy
dollar
turtle
book
chain
dolphin
sing
milk
wing
pencil
snake
scream
toast
vomit
salad
radio
potion
dominoes
balloon
monkey
trophy
feather
leash
loser
bite
notebook
happy
Mummy
sneeze
koala
tired
sick
pipe
jalapeno
diaper
deer
priest
youtuber
boomerang
pro
ruby
hop
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wrench
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doll
clownfish
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Vatican
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brand
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groom
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knight
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macho
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hummingbird
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motorbike
type
catapult
take off
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floppy disk
BMX
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brainwash
William Wallace
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gold
God
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coin
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sit
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half
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cash
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sweater
father
remote
safe
jeans
darts
graph
nothing
dagger
stone
wig
cupboard
minute
match
slime
garage
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swan
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toolbox
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adult
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spin
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maid
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Home Alone
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Picasso
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water cycle
meatloaf
insomnia
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whale
pie
demon
bed
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orange
sleep
gift
Popsicle
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zebra
Saturn
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wire
angel
skates
pyramid
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goal
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AC/DC
tampon
goatee
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flask
cut
cord
roof
movie
ash
tiger
player
magician
wool
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derp
suitcase
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nest
anchor
onion
magma
limbo
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mole
bingo
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leader
melt
Gandhi
arch
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turd
scientist
hippo
glue
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orbit
below
totem
health
towel
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crow
addiction
minigolf
clay
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navy
butcher
trigger
referee
bruise
translate
yearbook
confused
engine
poke
wreath
omelet
gravity
bride
godfather
flu
accordion
engineer
cocoon
minivan
bean bag
antivirus
billiards
rake
cement
cauliflower
espresso
violence
blender
chew
bartender
witness
hobbit
corkscrew
chameleon
cymbal
Excalibur
grapefruit
action
outside
guillotine
timpani
frostbite
leave
Mont Blanc
palette
electrician
fitness trainer
journalist
fashion designer
bucket
penguin
sheep
torch
robot
peanut
UFO
belt
Earth
magnet
dragon
soccer
desk
search
seal
scribble
gender
food
anvil
crust
bean
hockey
pot
pretzel
needle
blimp
plate
drool
frog
basement
idea
bracelet
cork
sauce
gang
sprinkler
shout
morning
poodle
karate
bagel
wolf
sausage
heat
wasp
calendar
tadpole
religion
hose
sleeve
acorn
sting
market
marble
comet
pain
cloth
drawer
orca
hurdle
pinball
narwhal
pollution
metal
race
end
razor
dollhouse
distance
prism
pub
lotion
vanish
vulture
beanie
burp
periscope
cousin
customer
label
mold
kebab
beaver
spark
meme
pudding
almond
mafia
gasp
nightmare
mermaid
season
gasoline
evening
eel
cast
hive
beetle
diploma
jeep
bulge
wrestler
Anubis
mascot
spinach
hieroglyph
anaconda
handicap
walrus
blacksmith
robin
reception
invasion
fencing
sphinx
evolution
brunette
traveler
jaguar
diagram
hovercraft
parade
dome
credit
tow truck
shallow
vlogger
veterinarian
furniture
commercial
cyborg
scent
defense
accident
marathon
demonstration
NASCAR
Velociraptor
pharmacist
Xerox
gentleman
dough
rhinoceros
air conditioner
poop
clock
carrot
cherry
candle
boots
target
wine
die
moon
airplane
think
pause
pill
pocket
Easter
horse
child
lamp
pillow
yolk
potato
pickle
nurse
ham
ninja
screw
board
pin
lettuce
console
climb
goose
bill
tortoise
sink
ski
glitter
miner
parrot
clap
spit
wiggle
peacock
roll
ballet
ceiling
celebrate
blind
yacht
addition
flock
powder
paddle
harpoon
kraken
baboon
antenna
classroom
bronze
writer
Obelix
touch
sensei
rest
puma
dent
shake
goblin
laundry
cloak
detonate
Neptune
cotton
generator
canary
horsewhip
racecar
Croatia
tip
cardboard
commander
seasick
anthill
vinegar
hippie
dentist
animation
Slinky
wallpaper
pendulum
vertical
chestplate
anime
beanstalk
survivor
florist
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spore
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W-LAN
mayor
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raisin
udder
oyster
sew
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mime
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Iron Giant
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pear
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space
bullet
skribbl.io
shirt
cow
worm
king
tea
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pants
hashtag
DNA
bird
Monster
beer
curtain
tire
nachos
bear
cricket
teapot
nerd
deaf
fruit
meteorite
rice
sniper
sale
gnome
shock
shape
alligator
meal
nickel
party
hurt
Segway
Mr. Bean
banker
cartoon
double
hammock
juggle
pope
leak
room
throne
hoof
radar
wound
luck
swag
panther
flush
Venus
disease
fortune
porch
machine
pilot
copper
mantis
keg
biology
wax
gloss
leech
sculpture
pelican
trapdoor
plague
quilt
yardstick
lounge
teaspoon
broadcast
uncle
comedian
mannequin
peasant
streamer
oar
drama
cornfield
carnivore
wingnut
vent
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vacation
applause
vision
radish
picnic
Skrillex
jester
preach
armadillo
hyena
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interview
sauna
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queue
industry
Atlantis
excavator
canister
model
flight attendant
ghost
pig
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banana
tomato
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present
duck
alien
peas
gem
web
grapes
corn
can
fairy
camel
paper
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corner
penny
dig
link
donkey
fox
rug
drip
hunter
horn
purse
gumball
pony
musket
flea
kettle
rooster
balcony
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dinner
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duel
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origami
skunk
coaster
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socket
fireside
cannon
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filter
alpaca
Zelda
condiment
server
antelope
emu
chestnut
dalmatian
swarm
sloth
reality
Darwin
torpedo
toucan
pedal
tabletop
frosting
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bayonet
margarine
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beet
journey
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eskimo
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evaporate
turnip
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procrastination
architect
programmer
bricklayer
boat
bell
ring
fries
money
chair
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bee
tail
ball
mouse
rat
window
peace
nut
blush
page
toad
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ace
tractor
peach
whisk
hen
day
shy
lawyer
rewind
tripod
trailer
hermit
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festival
punk
handle
protest
lens
attic
foil
promotion
work
limousine
patriot
badger
studio
athlete
quokka
trend
pinwheel
gravel
fabric
lemur
provoke
rune
display
nail file
embers
asymmetry
actor
carpenter
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Zuma
chinchilla
archaeologist
apple
hat
sun
box
cat
cup
train
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sound
run
barrel
barber
grill
read
family
moose
boil
printer
poster
sledge
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heading
cruise
pillar
retail
monk
spool
catalog
scuba
anteater
pensioner
coyote
vise
bobsled
purity
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meerkat
weasel
invention
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zeppelin
patient
gladiator
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Capricorn
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stress
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election
caviar
marmot
hair roller
pistol
cone
ant
lock
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cap
Mr. Meeseeks
comedy
coat
tourist
tickle
facade
shrew
diva
patio
apricot
spelunker
parakeet
barbarian
tumor
figurine
desperate
landlord
bus
mug
dog
shark
abyss
betray HUH SO HARD
submitted by Temporary_Scratch_14 to skribbl [link] [comments]

Former TJ editor-in-chief about letters from the FSB: there will be a story of "Durov 2.0", but Habr: tomberuk777 — LiveJournal: https://tomberuk777.livejournal.com/1597692.html

Former TJ editor-in-chief about letters from the FSB: there will be a story of "Durov 2.0", but Habr will become the headliner From casbt1osint.blogspot.com10 min View original Yesterday, the former chief editor of TJournal, Nikita Likhachev, posted a couple of long audio messages in his telegram channel, almost a podcast where he tells what he thinks of the ORI registry, letters to major Internet services from the FSB and Habr's place in this whole story. I know, on Habré they like reading more than listening, therefore I took the trouble to decrypt the record. This thought seemed interesting to me. Under cat reading for 5-7 minutes.
If it’s easier for someone to listen to the recording, then Nikita posted it in two parts on the Likhachev Radio Room channel. Next is a transcript of his words.
For a big reason, I decided to resume the section of irregular audio messages / podcasts in my Radio Room, which was originally created as a place where you can drop long audio messages when I think and reason. There is a topic that, it seems to me, will develop in the next few months, and maybe even years. Yesterday it was covered in detail in Medusa and The Bell. The FSB began to request from Internet companies that own services where users communicate, round-the-clock access to user data. Specifically, to messages, calls and any communication that occurs between them. And she began to request back in August 2019. She sent letters to representatives of companies and services that are included in the register of information dissemination organizers, the so-called ARI. And asked not to disclose the fact In short, the FSB asked the companies and services to quietly implement a round-the-clock monitoring of users. Here's the interesting thing: for half a year, none of the companies spoke about this. Now it is not very clear whether one of them agreed to do this or not. But at least the fact of conversations or meetings with the FSB, which were described in these letters, was not disclosed. These letters said that it is possible to drive to the FSB office in Lubyanka to discuss this topic, or the FSB will arrange a meeting at the appointed time and will arrive at the company’s office itself. As I understand it, the FSB officers were ready to come to those who are better, and the rest can be called to their carpet. The first interesting twist is that the ARI appeared back in May 2014. Then it was widely discussed as the "law on bloggers." No one understood why it was adopted and whether it would act in any way. For its implementation, there were not enough by-laws that would regulate which bloggers and how they should transmit information, what information, etc. Then it seemed that they took up the bloggers specifically, because they also introduced their registry. It seemed that they took up specific bloggers, and some thought that this law was specifically against Navalny. This law, unfortunately or fortunately, did not take effect - it just flew in vain. At the moment, it seems that about him completely forgotten. Six years have passed, and things are still there. As far as I know from communicating with different people, everyone perceived him as an incompetent law. Unclear, why was it adopted. It seems that someone said: we need a law that would regulate bloggers and create a specific registry for them. But in parallel with this, a law was passed that prescribed the concept of information dissemination organizers and created a register. Vkontakte made the first point there. Later, other major services were introduced there, but in six years only 200 appeared there. Among the media there was only Roem . And then, he could have entered there himself, but this must be clarified by Yuri Sinodov. The registry is formed on the basis of “ILV comes to the service, sends a letter“ dudes, we need some data from you ”.” And if the company provides them, it is entered into the register. ILV itself did not add anyone to this registry, as far as I know, in any case, without consent, it did not. Durov stood in a pose “we don’t want to enter this registry if you want our registration data in the public domain.” And then everything seemed to be done as part of a tacit agreement with the FSB, which then demanded keys from the Telegram. The keys could not be obtained; Telegram did not contact. Then they decided “we’ll add it to the registry, and then we’ll think about what to do with it.” As a result, they made it, but it seems like no keys to it were received. Apparently, for most other services, the situation was the same. Since 2014, 200 services have been introduced there. And it seems that nobody did anything with these organizers of the dissemination of information. Despite the fact that since July 1, 2018, according to the “Spring Law,” all these services that were in the register of information dissemination organizers had to transmit data on how their user communicates, message content, etc. But no by-laws and other documents that would regulate the transfer of information - how it should be transmitted and to whom - so it was not accepted. The advantage is that in the five years since the adoption of the law on the organizers of the dissemination of information and in the year since the "Spring Law" has already started to operate, these by-laws have not been adopted. But in fact, a political decision was not made, who will produce and supply equipment that will be used to monitor the users of all these services around the clock. Laws imply the purchase of a huge amount of expensive equipment and the maintenance of this equipment, and maybe even payments for processing traffic on the volumes of Internet providers. Someone had to make money on the production of this equipment - this is a rather large, tidbit, gold mine, which many wanted to process. A lot has been written about this. I got the feeling that there is competition and there is an undercover struggle between major suppliers, and someone must win it. A political decision must be made, saying that this company determines how this equipment should look like (maybe it will produce it). In theory, everything should be centralized in the hands of a large giant like Rostec or Rostelecom, or someone else who is close to the Ministry of Communications and the Presidential Administration, for example. Someone had to control this and explain how everything should work. Obviously, the dudes who wrote the law just don't know how this should work. Plus, they simply may not have a direct relationship to the fact that this equipment is technically regulated and to determine the supplier who is able to make it. Maybe this equipment is not in nature. In my opinion, in the expert community there is a lot of talk about In 2019, there is no equipment supplier. But the FSB begins to send letters: dudes, come to us at Lubyanka, let's talk about how you will install the equipment - we have an order from the center of something there at the FSB, which is the basis for you to come to us and started to install it on their servers. I wonder why this happened in the midst of protests. Apparently, someone on the background of what was happening realized: guys, but we have access to see who organizes the protests there at all? And what kind of people are they in general? And it turns out that access is not. That is, there is some kind of conditional access: you can request billing calls, SMS from operators. But they all use these messengers! They all sit on social networks that are encrypted. And they may not have any equipment installed at all, Plus, another factor is that all the polymers have been emitted - the largest foreign services, including WhatsApp Facebook, Instagram or Twitter, are not in this registry. It turns out that only Russian services (and not all) are registered in this registry, and no one came to install the equipment. Judging by the publications of Medusa and The Bell , they nevertheless came to someone and demanded to install this equipment, and at the expense of the company itself. Everything looks, to put it mildly, not very rosy: they make you monitor your own users, spend your money on installing equipment, and also figure out how to configure this equipment and where to get it. It is not said, however, who did this, but it is clear that a lot of money is needed for this equipment. The problem is that you can come to individuals and companies. But how to make sure that if not the entire audience, then its significant part is covered in terms of the diversity of needs for using managers and other communication tools - it is not very clear. How to get everyone to register in this registry ORI no one understood. And so the FSB, apparently, decided to follow the path of direct contacts: send letters to everyone, and go talk to them directly. And at the same time make sure that they have not yet told anyone about it. Judging by what is happening, the only public service that did not agree to such requirements is Habr, who first re-registered as a Cypriot legal entity and it seems like (now I can be wrong) moved the equipment abroad and issued a reportabout how requests from government agencies are handled. In short, according to the law, inquiries must be made up to the press and the availability of an electronic digital signature, if an email. Everything should be clearly indicated there. And it seems like they (Habr) do not give out all the data and do not answer all the requests. There was not so much justice for the sake of requests to them - in the region of 16 pieces for 2019. And in most cases, these were “normal” requests. In some cases, Habr even helped, for example, banned a user who spammed about online casinos. In some cases, Roskomnadzor, as usual, requires blocking access from Russia to the 2014-2016 article. And in principle, does not explain why access to it is closed. Unfortunately, from the point of view of interaction between Roskomnadzor and the media, this can already be said to be normal practice. In many cases, you yourself can understand why access to the article is denied. It is clear where the legs grow from the ban on articles on how to print a gun on a 3D printer - the Ministry of Internal Affairs is dealing with its understandable issues. For me, the main trick is that in the coming months and, possibly, years, the history of Durov 2.0 will be repeated. Only this time Habr will be its headliner. Judging by what is happening, the guys prepared to transfer their sphere of interests to the international plane: both the legal entity in Cyprus and habr.com registered, made an English version. And, of course, since they are almost the only ones among the services in the ARI registry, with the exception of Telegram, who are not going to fulfill these requirements, they will look in the eyes of international media as a resource that was forced to leave Russia due to the actions of the security forces. If they are also blocked (which is quite likely if they refuse and take up a pose), when entering the international market, the image of such dissidents persecuted by the FSB, but who advocate for users and the security of communications [will play into their hands].deniskin ) and the whole team, this way looks very logical, given that Habr is a community of programmers, among whom there are many privacy champions who are sensitive to the fact that other people, especially security officials, monitor their data. It would seem that Habr is a place where programmers communicate about code, work and rarely speak on political topics. In principle, all the way Habr existed in an attempt to ban or limit political discussions on the site. But there is a large proportion of users, including programmers, who sometimes like to “quit the smoking room” and discuss, “what is our policy, who is to blame and what to do?” This is a rather massive community, pretty noticeable dudes, they have a lot of user investigations ... a pretty friendly community is one of the few so dense and so noticeable communities in Runet. The second tsimes, which, probably, few people notice and, perhaps, actually does not look quite the way I perceive. In the last six months or a year, firstly, a "law against Apple" appeared, which forces manufacturers of smartphones, computers, smart TVs to preinstall "strategically important Russian services" on imported equipment. In fact, this is a way to get hundreds of thousands and millions of application presets for large companies absolutely free. To get on this list, you need some curator in the presidential administration to approve you as a reliable partner and a worthy Internet company. And we do not have many such companies. But there is never free cheese. I think getting on this list is a barter in exchange for something else. For example, for the fact that you will supply for your money equipment that the FSB needs. From a recent one, Putin announced in a message to the Federal Assembly that an accessible Internet program should be made. That is, access to some services should generally be free. That is, the costs of providing this access should be borne by Internet providers. And companies that do these services for free will get traffic growth - simply because people will start using the services, even if they don’t have money to pay for the Internet. It looks like Runet support, but who will pay for it? None of the companies can comment on this and say whether negotiations were conducted at all and how successfully. Roskomsvoboda at a time when the law was adopted, said: if the service is added to the list by default can be considered that the service is working and sends all relevant data, unless the contrary is proved. What can be said about Habr? There is some sequence here. One can only hope that all this will work for the service positively. We all remember how the media in the West covered the departure of the Telegram. When Durov began to hand out interviews, everyone represented him as the creator of the service, who left Russia for political reasons. And from this, interest in the service increased and user confidence - too. Naturally, this shop is already almost closed, but until recently, he rode out saying "look, we are security!" Whether it will be possible to do the same at Habr, it is not clear. The scale, of course, is completely different, but there will probably be some kind of boost in the beginning. I think everything will be fine.
submitted by olukawy to brcfua [link] [comments]

Removed comments/submissions for /u/LeftyHeftyOne

Hi LeftyHeftyOne, you're not shadowbanned, but 54 of your most recent 100 comments/submissions were removed. They may be removed automatically by spam filters and not necessarily by human moderators.
Comment (1pts) in politics, "Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Defends Concentration Camp...", (21 Jun 19):
People shouldn't come here ILLEGALLY.
You do realize that coming here ILLEGALLY is a crime?
Comment (1pts) in politics, "Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Defends Concentration Camp...", (21 Jun 19):
You people are fucking idiots lol.
We don't have concentration camps here in the USA.
Comment (1pts) in politics, "#AnybodyButTrump2020 trends as Trump rolls out reelection...", (19 Jun 19):
Rofls.... Over 100k people at his rally tonight, Democrats Csnt get more than 1k people at their rallys.
Comment (1pts) in politics, "In Terrifying Interview, William Barr Goes Full MAGA", (01 Jun 19):
You people need to Uninstall Reddit and enjoy life, not Politics.
Ita depressing to see
Comment (1pts) in WhitePeopleTwitter, "Popeyes biscuit", (16 Apr 19):
Females are garbage these days, I love the ones that are fat as fuck and want a dude that's 6 foot 5
Comment (1pts) in worldnews, "Bad diets killing more people globally than tobacco, study...", (05 Apr 19):
Funny part youve got fat ass people crying about Anti Vax, while they feed their kids McDonald's..
I never understood the insane delusional people here in the USA
Comment (1pts) in gaming, "Got home from work late, took a shower and came downstairs...", (04 Apr 19):
My eyes are starting to hurt just from this picture
Comment (1pts) in CryptoCurrency, "The crypto space right now", (04 Apr 19):
Lol
Comment (1pts) in PublicFreakout, "lady freaks out when no one wants to bend over backwards...", (28 Mar 19):
Mentally ill Liberals for you
Comment (1pts) in PublicFreakout, "‘I am african you will never take my life’", (28 Mar 19):
You are delusional
Comment (1pts) in PublicFreakout, "Hitler hardcore tweaking on meth, like the Tiger tank he...", (28 Mar 19):
You can tell this shit is sped up, but yeah did they a shit ton of drugs
Comment (1pts) in PublicFreakout, "TRUMP ! TRUMP ! TRUMP ! Man make a ass out of him self at a...", (28 Mar 19):
Salt
Comment (1pts) in politics, "Megathread: AG Willam Barr releases his top line summary of...", (25 Mar 19):
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
NO COLLUSION HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Comment (-9pts) in BreakingTheSeal, "Resistance is futile", (23 Mar 19):
Too bad you are fat
Comment (1pts) in PublicFreakout, "Don't make assumptions.", (21 Mar 19):
This is the typical Liberal these days.
Comment (1pts) in CollegeBasketball, "[Game Thread] #10 Michigan @ #8 Michigan State (3:30 PM ET)", (18 Mar 19):
You salty
Comment (1pts) in CollegeBasketball, "[Game Thread] #10 Michigan @ #8 Michigan State (3:30 PM ET)", (18 Mar 19):
These refs aren't calling shit on UofM
Comment (1pts) in politics, "Megathread: Senate Passes Resolution Rejecting Trump's...", (15 Mar 19):
I'm confused, is this good or bad news for Trump supporters
Comment (1pts) in atheism, "36 mega churches in Alabama, but a casino ended up paying...", (11 Mar 19):
.... TDS?
You should seek help
Comment (1pts) in TwoXChromosomes, "The state I live in just penalized abortion", (11 Mar 19):
I feel really sad for all the kids being murdered still in the mothers womb.
Comment (1pts) in PoliticalHumor, "Clairvoyant doesn't do him justice.", (11 Mar 19):
We were supposed to be dead by 2000 with climate change.
Comment (1pts) in videos, "Mia Khalifa curses out radio show host after being...", (03 Mar 19):
What a fucking cunt, fuck this bitch
Comment (1pts) in Tinder, "Was gonna wait for her response to post this but I don’t...", (23 Feb 19):
I'm tired of these Garbage ass hoes, this bitch probably work part time and got no future
Edit seriously, 90% of chicks on tinder got no life and are THOTS
Comment (1pts) in PoliticalHumor, "He’s not wrong...", (22 Feb 19):
TDS is real. In this sub
Comment (1pts) in ChoosingBeggars, "Guy from my school who runs the feminist club wanted free...", (22 Feb 19):
The dude is either Trolling, or this post is fake.
Comment (1pts) in BlackPeopleTwitter, "Come on Oprah", (19 Feb 19):
Oh yes finding a job with the "Liberal Arts Degree" you went to college for.
People these days are fucking dumb, and get dumbass degrees that won't get them anywhere in life.
Comment (0pts) in TopMindsOfReddit, "So much packed into one comment", (18 Feb 19):
Ahh yes, 1 persons actions = Everyone's else's.
You people are mentally ill
Comment (1pts) in politics, "Trump to Sign Spending Deal and Declare National Emergency...", (15 Feb 19):
No Collusion FACT
Getting his wall that he wanted FACT
God it must suck being a shitty Liberal these days
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA A HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Comment (1pts) in PublicFreakout, "Frat boy messes with Asian guy, gets knocked the fuck out", (15 Feb 19):
Anyone else see that security guard just keep walking hababa
Comment (1pts) in facepalm, "It should read "So I am being fired". If you don't trust...", (11 Feb 19):
How? It's her choice?
As long as they aren't pushing it towards their patients
But yet you sick fucks get abortions and Complain about anti vax rofls
Comment (1pts) in HumansBeingBros, "The opposite of ChoosingBeggars - my wife trying to sell...", (10 Feb 19):
2 weeks later sold it
Comment (1pts) in Tinder, "Up her", (05 Feb 19):
Thots these days, fat as hell, work in a gas station with 2 kids, and want someone who makes 100k a year and tall and buff
Comment (0pts) in gonewild, "To the (F)uck who called me fat.", (29 Jan 19):
Checked pics
Can Confirm this hoe is fat.
Anyone that tells you that you aren't fat is fucking lying.
And instead of wasting time taking nudes with your face in it, maybe go to the gym and lose a c...
Comment (1pts) in politics, "Roger Stone allegedly wanted to use Facebook's WhatsApp to...", (27 Jan 19):
How many of those are for COLLUSION?
Comment (1pts) in politics, ["Megathread: President Trump a
submitted by MarkdownShadowBot to CommentRemovalChecker [link] [comments]

Podcasting is so dang hard, which is why you should start one today

I'm going to give you a few reasons for why you SHOULD and why you should NOT start a podcast.
Reasons why you should NOT start a podcast
Audio is actually easier than video - at least, most forms of face-on-camera videos, because if you're going to be in the video, then you have to think about your clothes, hair, shaving, or makeup, lighting, are you going to do it indoors or outdoors. If you're doing it outdoors, are you going to use just natural sun light, if yes, then if you shoot for an hour or two, then you'll see the lighting differ in the final output because of clouds and the position of the sun itself changing, all of the outdoor noises that you have to consider because I don't know about you, but the second I walk into my backyard to shoot a quick 3 minute video, it feels like the entire universe conspires against me.
And my neighbor, who probably hasn't mowed his lawn in weeks, comes out of the blue and starts his lawn mower or leaf blower. Another neighbor down the street starts doing some construction work, all of the kids come out to play, especially the cute little ones with such high-pitched screams that only your dog can hear it. Of course, your mic picks up EVERY thing, including the A/C unit in your own backyard going off all of a sudden.
But think about how many talking-head or face-on-camera videos a typical person creates over their lifetime. Probably not too many, unless they're doing the occasional sales video for their web site. That number is however tripling by the day thanks to Facebook Live and Instagram and Snapchat and what not. But still, that's still a very small percentage. Of course, there are those casual screencast and how-to videos which are actually easier to produce than a typical podcast, because of the long-term commitment that a podcast brings.
So don't compare audio to the much harder face-on-camera videos. We're going to compare creating audio - or a series of audio files - as in, a podcast - we're going to compare creating a podcast all the mostly written-word blog posts and Facebook posts and Instagram posts and Medium posts that you would create.
So in spite of what some people selling you a course about podcasting would have you believe, Podcasting is actually way harder compared to most other form of content generation.
And I'm not talking about just the tech or the creation and publishing here. I'm talking about the overall process - the overall impact a podcast would have to your bottom-line in the short-term.
Oops, sorry. I shouldn't have used "short-term" and "podcast" in the same sentence. Lol!
So for a typical half-hour podcast episode, it takes me at least 4 hours of time, from start to finish. And that's with my pretty fine tuned process, which I've kind of honed down. And it's about to get even better, as I get ready to turn over my podcast editing to my 14-year old son Rohan, who is now pretty darn good at audio editing, and has been professionally editing and managing podcasts for about 3 clients this past couple of months. By the way, he even has his own podcast, which is a movie and tv review podcast. Check it out at ZombiesHeroes.com
Now, most people may not be able to afford, or may not WANT to afford the fees associated with outsourcing their show's editing, because it can be anywhere between 10 dollars to 50 dollars per episode. And even if you say it's only about 20 dollars, for 4 episodes a month, that's 80 dollars for a podcast that's probably not going to be making you any money for a while. Throw in professional hosting for about 10 dollars a month, and if you outsource show-notes writing and uploading your content and creating a blog post and stuff, you could easily end up paying around 200 dollars a month in total for about 4 episodes worth of work.
So most people I know end up trying to do it all themselves. Which would easily take them between 3 to 5 hours a week. And it will probably take a little bit more time if your show is longer than 1/2 hour, or you have multiple hosts, or you have a guest on your show, and so on. Starting with a solo show, the more layers you add to it, the more time it takes to publish the show.
There's the preparing for the show - like the main topic, bullet points for what you're going to talk about, figuring out the different segments, then getting set up, and if you have a co-host, then the collaboration and discussions between the 2 or 3 of you, then the actual recording, then getting all media together, intro, outro, any ads or calls-to-action, then editing it, mixing it to make the audio sound really great and balancing of audio between the different audio segments and co-hosts and guests and such, writing the episode subject, description, the episode artwork, creating the ID3 tags, then taking the final version, uploading to the podcast host, and setting it to publish. If you thought phew, that sounds like a lot of work, then I have even more bad news - because simply publishing it on your podcast host is just one major piece of the puzzle. There is still the work of creating a blog post for this, and formating the content, deciding what your show notes are going to be, and then writing them - is it going to be a word-for-word transcription, or a nicely written summary with bullet points that gives a really good idea of what the show is, without spilling all the beans, so to speak. And even after you do that, it's still not over - the hardest part that still remains - promoting your show. Yes, you will have to market your podcast. Just like you have to promote your web site, or product or service, or online course.
And now comes the dilemma: If you have an online course, for say $27 dollars. If you decide to run paid ads driving traffic to your landing page, then you put them in a funnel, offer a lead magnet to get them in to your list, send them emails, and finally, some percentage of them will convert and buy your course. So you can actually track the return or investment - or ROI - for your campaigh. I drove 100 people to the site at 50 cents a click. So I spent 50 dollars, brought in 100 people to my offer, out of which 5% went on to buy my course at $27 a pop. So spent $50, made $135. a profit of roughly about $85. I say roughly, because you may have other expenses, like the credit card processing fees, someone managing your ads, someone working on customer service or tech support, etc. Let's put all that aside. But I can still calculate a tangible return on investment - or even if I lose money, at least I can track that too!
With a podcast, the hardest thing to do is tracking your return on investment - whether that investment is just your time, or also your money, or also your effort. You can NOT easily tell how well your podcast is working for your business, because it is a long game - like, a really long game. More like your retirement account that you won't be getting a penny from any time soon. There's always going to be those who have an existing audience - like an existing list, or a lot of fans on social media and so on - that they can leverage for their new podcast. But for most people, they won't have an existing list or an existing audience on social media.
Which means, you really have to get creative in promoting your podcast. Try to be a guest on other people's podcasts, create content marketing pieces that promote your podcast episodes, take out paid ads, exchange ad spots with other podcasters, and so on. There are a lot of ways to do it, but there isn't just one thing that you can do - like buying a lot of ads and tracking the return on investment, and then tweak your ads based on your conversions.
That's because there simply aren’t many tools right now to measure a lot of the key metrics – like how many people that downloaded your episode actually went on to actually listen to it, how long did they listen, where did they stop listening, and so on. The ability to track ROI on paid advertising when it comes to converting clicks to listeners to subscribers – a lot of that is not possible right now with podcasting.
Which is why even big-name celebrities with a built-in audience and platform, end up quitting their podcasts within a few episodes, because it is a LOT of thankless work.
Take my own podcast at SubscribeMe.fm - I have published 60 episodes so far. So let's say an average of 4 hours for me, start to finish, from concept to notes to recording to editing to promotion. That is 240 hours of work so far. Probably way more because in the beginning, it felt like I spent close to 8-10 hours, but who's counting, right? ;-)
Now, my episodes get pretty decent download numbers - no complaints there. And the average podcast gets only about 220+ or so downloads, according to Libsyn's "The Feed" podcast. My show gets WAY more than that.
So as an entrepreneur and businessman, I do occasionally have to ask myself: Is this the best use of those 4 hours of my week, or could I be doing something different - or better - with it?
On some level, I feel that if had used those 240 hours on creating an online course, or improving some of my software products, like CoolCastPlayer.com or some of my other WordPress plugins, that would have certainly had more tangible results. Like, it would have surely resulted in noticeably more sales, which means more revenue, and the features that I add or the course I create, will keep selling for years and years to come, and once the creation process is over, I can just buy ads and track conversions and clicks and ROI, or I can recruit more affiliates who will promote the course or the product for me, which in turn increases sales and revenue.
But with a podcast, you cannot track conversions, because while you can track how many clicks you sent to iTunes or Stitcher, you can't really know how many of those specific clicks went on to listen to your show, or subscribe to it. A lot of it is guesswork at this point.
With an email list, you send out an email, and within a few hours, you can see results - you can see clicks on your links, visits to your web site, and you probably might have gotten a few sales even. But with a podcast, it's different - people are listening to a podcast while they're out and about - on a run, walking their dog, doing the dishes. And if you have a call to action in your podcast, then the conversions on your calls to action will be way fewer than if it were sent in an email. People have to get back to their desk, which they may do hours later, and then they have to check their Facebook feed, respond to emails and support requests, put out some fires, respond on Slack or Skype, and by that time, they've probably completely forgotten about that call to action you mentioned at the end of your podcast a few hours earlier.
There is a lot more to why podcast tracking is so much harder than with most other mediums - like even YouTube gives creators such phenomenal stats, but the podcasting industry is still evolving. But the bottom-line is this: Podcasting is hard. Really hard. Churning out great content week after week, the research, the editing, the uploading, creating a page for it on your site and optimizing it, then promoting it... all of that is hard.
You can write a blog post in chunks, over a period of time. You can't record a single episode over several days, because the sound quality will not sound even or consistent. You can get a ghost writer to write your content marketing pieces, but you can't outsource your voice - you have to do it yourself, even if you outsource the research and editing. You can go back and edit a blog post over and over again and keep adding to it over time. It's not easy to add to a podcast episode - you can technically do it, but it's not as simple as editing a blog post.
Podcasting takes a lot of passion, knowledge & persistence to do it long-enough and well-enough to build authority and influence - and most importantly, a lot of marketing – to get the word out and build a legion of raving fans.
And now we get to the best part...
Having said all of those things about why podcasting is hard, I'm not going to do a complete switcharoo, and tell you that those are the EXACT reasons why you SHOULD start a podcast.
Reasons why you SHOULD start a Podcast}
Guess what? If it's hard, and complicated, and takes passion and knowledge and persistence to do it, then here's some GREAT NEWS: Most people aren't going to bother to take on all that work for such little or slow payback! Most people want instant gratification. Most people want to win the lottery, or win a gamble, or win at a casino. Most people don't care about investing money in a retirement account that they can't take out for a long time. That's not how most people's mind works. And that's where you and I are so darn lucky, that not everyone can do this.
Most people will not have the knowledge, or have a message to spread. They won't know what to say. They may not have enough to say it for weeks and months and years together, week after week, month after month. They won't have the marketing savvy to know how to promote their podcast. They won't have the patience to understand that this is a long game. They won't have the persistence to put a lot into it upfront without seeing immediate results. They won't spend the few dollars it requires to buy one of the cheapest and best mics, the Audio Technica ATR 2100 (I use and love the Blue Yeti, btw). They won't pay the 5 dollars a month for professional hosting. They won't pay a few dollars to buy an awesome podcast player plugin that they can put their entire podcast feed front-and-center on their web site - like I've done on my podcast web site, and promote it right on their home page, and create a separate blog post for each episode and put the player right at the top of each blog post, so that every single person visiting their web site can quickly and easily sample their show. They basically won't optimize their podcast web site for their own podcast!
I heard somewhere that there are about 2000 blogs for every podcast. Which means, when you start a blog, you are competing with 2000 times more competition than if you were to start a podcast. So the opportunity is wide open. And while it is getting easier to start a podcast, that doesn't necessarily mean more competition, only because there will be a lot of people coming in with unrealistic expectations about results and how much money they make from their podcast and how much fame and recognition they will get from their show. And they will probably fall flat on their face, because podcasting is not a business model. You can't start a podcast with the sole intention of making money from sponsorships.
Thinking you can make a full time living some day just from the money directly earned from sponsorships on your podcast, is the biggest myth. Podcasting is not a business model - it is a content marketing tool. So just like it is going to be super hard to make a living off of just ad revenue from displaying ads on your blog, it's super hard, and nearly impossible to make a full-time living from just ad revenue from your podcast.
Most people starting a podcast will be too shortsighted to realize this, and they'll quit podcasting sooner than later. From what I've heard, the average podcast lasts less than 10 episodes, before it podfades. Podfading, by the way, is when podcasts just wither away and die a slow, painful death. They don't shut down, they don't totally go away. They just stop publishing new content, and over time, they'll just lose subscribers and listeners and just fade away into the distance. And it makes sense that the average new show puts out about 10 episodes - or 7, from some other reports - before the host quits the show, because that's about how long it takes before it hits you how hard this thing is to keep up week after week, how hard it is to keep coming up with topics week after week, how much time it takes to promote your show, and how slowly it will probably end up growing, and how much patience you need to keep it going.
But guess what... What's bad news for the rest of the world, for all those "podfaders", is the best news for you and me.
Anything worth doing, is going to be hard. If it's too easy, everyone would do it, and that would kill the marketplace. And if it was insanely expensive, then only a very privileged few could do it - like own a plane, or an island. But podcasting is one of those things which is not easy at all, but it's not expensive either. Podcasting is juuuust hard enough... and cheap enough... for those persistent few of us to get in the game. It is cheaper than most hobbies - like golfing, or tennis. It's actually even cheaper than what the average person spends on entertainment - like Netflix, Hulu, HBO, Showtime and Cable TV subscriptions.
And that's why you and me and the persistent few of us who start and run a podcast, are one day going to enjoy the fruits of our passion. We can be like Tim Ferriss who gets millions of downloads per episode. He puts out a book and it sells millions of copies. Product launches, charity fundraisers, social media interactions and likes and comments - whatever you name it, you can get truckloads of it. Because you will have that kind of a fan-following. Again, you don't have to have millions of downloads. Keep reading and I'll explain.
And that's why podcasting is special.
When it comes to the ability to connect with people on a deeper, personal level, Audio is second only to Video. But with all the ways already invented every day to interrupt, annoy and distract people – TV, Netflix, YouTube, Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, Whatsapp, Hangouts, and on and on and on… and more ways being interrupted every day, podcasting, in some ways, has become the single most powerful, relationship- and fan-building tool there is – even more so than video.
Because guess what? You can’t be driving and watching a YouTube video - well, I guess you could, but if you did, then you probably wouldn’t be well enough to be listening to me right now, would you?). You can’t read an online article or a book or a blog post or a PDF report, when you’re driving to work, or walking your dog, or at the gym, or doing the dishes.
You can’t listen to the radio show that you want to, when you want to. Whatever is playing when you get into your car is what you have to listen to. Even with expensive Satellite radio, you only get more channels, but you don’t get the channels on-demand. You can’t get a show on satellite radio to start when you’re ready for it - you still have to listen to the shows on their clock, not on yours.
Podcasts can go "where no other media has gone before", so to speak. The people talking on the show – whether they are making you think, laugh, cry or learn – they’re in your ears, talking directly to you, they have your fullest attention, you are focused in on their voice, even if you’re performing a chore. You chose the podcast yourself. No one "spammed" you with that podcast. No one signed you up for it without your permission. There was no “popup” or “malware” that forced a podcast episode into your ears. There was no “Nigerian Prince” who asked you for your iTunes id so that they could auto-subscribe you to junk shows. There were no fake billing department calls from Dell asking you for your credit card, so that they can charge you for a podcast – oh wait, that’s right – podcasts are free!
YOU chose to search for a podcast. YOU went out and looked for it. YOU voluntarily listened to it, maybe multiple episodes, maybe you even subscribed to it and have it automatically downloaded every week. YOU did all that – yourself. And you got to listen to the show of your choice, with the topics of your choice, when and where you wanted to listen to it, listening to it when you simply had no other way to entertain yourself, or learn something, or become a part of a movement.
Where Podcasting shines, is its ability to indirectly impact other areas of your business - like developing more Authority, Credibility, Expertise, which could all be used to get speaking gigs, coaching gigs, consulting jobs, to drive awareness and traffic to your other products and services, sell more books, build a list, etc.
Only a tiny, MINISCULE percentage of podcasters will actually end up making a full-time living just off of sponsorships on their shows. So if your goal is to make a lot of money with sponsors, then you’re going to be disappointed.
But you would be better off using your podcast to build an audience, build your brand, and market yourself, your products, books and services.
No matter what the most famous copywriters will tell you, you simply can't form the same kind of relationship and bond with the written word - at least most people can't. Ok, we're not talking about writing a book and becoming super famous - like Stephen King or JK Rowling or Seth Godin. We're talking about the average person writing a blog or a Facebook post or a medium post, versus creating a podcast.
There's something absolutely magical that happens when you put on your headset, tune out the rest of the world (watch out for traffic though, especially if you're on foot, lol) or connect your phone in your car, and listen to someone talk passionately about a subject you care about, for 10 or 30 or 60 minutes, week after week.
This is why radio advertising was always so powerful, because most people listened to it in their car. When you are driving, can't really do much else, and you're locked into that voice coming out the speakers, and you are listening to that sports show and talk-show or music station, and there comes this host-read ad, or some other ad that grabs your attention. Now... take the power of radio, and turn it on its head, make it 50 times more powerful, and that's what podcasting is.
There are just an infinite number of upsides to the kind of relationship that a podcast can help you build with your listeners. And that relationship, can not be, and should NOT be cheapened by thinking about ROI, and conversions, and clicks and subscribers and direct marketing metrics.
A podcast is the biggest proof of that famous concept by Kevin Kelly, called "1000 true fans". Where the premise is that you don't need millions of followers to be successful. Just 1000 true fans can make you more than successful, and help you make a full time and even an abundant living from just those 1000 true fans alone. You don't need millions of fans to make millions of dollars. And guess what... the platform that gets you the fastest to those 1000 true fans, is podcasting.
I'm not talking about how fast you can reach 1000 people in general. Not talking about how quickly you get someone to read your message, or how quickly you can get someone to take action - like click on a link, in an email or social post or in a Facebook ad - a podcast will fail at all those "quickie" items.
But when it comes to gaining 1000 true fans, fans who will buy your books, and sign up for your online courses, and support your kickstarter launch, and leave you unsolicited 5 star reviews on iTunes, fans who will follow you on Facebook and Instagram and comment on your social posts and like your posts within minutes of them coming out... that's what a true fan is.
And when it comes to creating your 1000 true fans, a podcast , which is more like the tortoise than the hare, and is the one that eventually wins out against the hare, which in this case, is all your other content marketing platforms put together.
And that is EXACTLY why, you should start a podcast today (or keeps your existing one going).
-- Ravi Jayagopal
My podcast about Membership Sites & Online Courses
And to listen to this article online...
@ SubscribeMe.fm
submitted by ravijp to podcasts [link] [comments]

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