Continuing… (It's Part 6 in the saga, I fucked up. Sorry.)
So, after a few re-fueling and impromptu cigar-purchasing stops in South and Central America, we wheel up to the deserted jetway at LAX.
“Thought we were going to Elmendorf?” I asked.
“This isn’t it?” the pilot replied, feigning worry.
“No.”, I replied, “Looks like California. Fruits and nuts. All around. What’s going on? One minute we’re off to Texas, then Cali, then Texas again, now we end up here at the California airport of the iconic tower.”
“Yeah, it’s confusing enough haulin’ civilians around. But when we get a call from Virginia, we tend to comply without any questions,” the pilot explains.
“Aw, shit!”, I sort of exclaim, “Rack and Ruin called?”
“Yeah”, the pilot replies, “Figures you’d know these guys. They said they were closer to LAX rather than Texas and had us divert here. In fact, you look over there, see that dark blue Chevy? That’s them; and evidently, your ride.”
I tipped the airman from earlier a couple of cigars as he helped me with my gear off the plane and into the trunk of Rack and Ruin’s plain-Jane blue late modeled Chevy. Had to move the Sidewinder Missiles off to one side, though.
“Most honorable Agents Lack and Luin!” I quipped in my faux-racist greeting. “What the hell, guys? I’ve got to get to Japan and get some newly rigidified digits.”
“Let’s see your hand”, Agent Rack asks. “Nasty.”
“Yeah”, I sigh “And with the medicos in South America and their penchant for plaster, I don’t so much have a left hand as more of an ankylosaur tail.”
“Or Thagomizer”, Agent Ruin tittered. “Anyone gives you grief, and one upside the head should set them right. Or dead.”
“You’re a riot, Ruin.” I replied, “But not entirely incorrect.”
We all agreed that I really didn’t need any extra accouterments to make myself look more dangerous. I mean with my severe haircut, stern beard clip, and perpetual ‘Go fuck yourself’ scowl.
“Yeah”, I replied, stroking the aforementioned beard, “I just can’t get that. I’m such a people person.”
After Agents Rack and Ruin finished drying their eyes from laughing what I thought was en extremis, we finally got down to business.
“So, what’s the skinny, guys”, I asked. “New marching orders?”
“No. Not as such”, Agent Ruin said, still sniggering over my ‘people person’ comment.
I see we’re moving. Agent Rack is just driving casually, like Chewbacca when they were waiting to see if the Empire went for that expensive Bothan code.
“Then, what?” I asked, getting a slight bit piqued.
“Well”, Agent Ruin noted, “When you went to South America, you took some of your artillery collection with, correct?”
“You know I did. You even made some snide comments about my personal choice of sidearms and their ‘excessive’ calibers, if memory serves”, I reiterated.
“And if you are proceeding normally, as you always do, they’re all nestled in the trunk of this very car. All cleaned, quiet, unloaded, and smelling sweetly of Hoppe’s Number 9 and WD 40, correct?” Rack inquired.
“Yes?” I cautiously venture.
“Well, ya’ big dummy, do you think they’re going to let you saunter into Tokyo armed like the Third Fleet?” Agent Ruin chuckled.
“Um…well…I do have a Diplomatic Passport.” I ventured.
“That’s not going to work this time.”, Agent Ruin said, shaking his head. “They’re tighter than Dick’s Hatband about sidearms. Want to bring in your Rigby SXS .500 Nitro Express double rifle? Not a problem. Sidearms, especially in your alien hunting calibers, nope.”
Well, that’s just….*dandy!”, I reply, semi-put out. “Now what the hell am I going to do?”
“Ever think that’s why Ruin and I are here, now?”, Rack asks.
“And here I thought it was just so you could bask in the warm glow of my fucking wonderful personality. Or that you actually cared about me as a real goddamn human”, I joshed.
“Ummm…yeah”, Rack replies, “There’s no way we can answer that without going on some Deadpool list. “
I agreed.
“OK, here’s the deal: you get your sidearms, ammunition, speed loaders, brass knuckles, Asp, laser range finders, Sap, Zeiss scopes, Kukri, Wisconsin Cheese Whittler, Buck folding skinner, Marine K-Bar, those two ultra-illegal Cheburkov Cobra titanium switchblades...”
“Three. Olga the KGB lady sent me one for Geologist’s Day.”
“Ahem. Those three ultra-illegal Cheburkov switchblades, that Wyoming Speedholer, your MASER Time-Distance Computer, garrote, pocket rail gun and whatever else lethal you carry and deposit it in the iron box in the trunk. We’ll ensure that it’s delivered to Esme post-haste. And by post-haste I mean one of our guys will deliver it personally.”
“Well…I suppose”, I conceded, “But best send someone who’s been to the house recently. I don’t know how much bigger Khan has grown since I left on this little fantasy trip. Wouldn’t want a star on the wall in Langley for someone eaten by a mastiff. Want to see a picture….Oh, bother. That’s right. My phone’s at the bottom of fucking Lake Maracaibo.”
“Good point”, Ruin interjects, “Guess we’ll do a little road trip and deliver it ourselves. Best call Esme and let her know what’s going on.”
“I have no objections to your proposals. Please give Esme this when you see her. I had some luck in the Calaveras Casino and if I don’t send her some mad money. Ouch. She’ll never forgive me for not taking her along to Japan.” I asked.
“But I thought Esme hated Japan? Too crowded and too ‘fussy’, I believe was her estimation.” Ruin asked.
“Yes, but once she saw the Ginza, all bets were off. Shopping the likes of which even Allah himself hasn’t seen.” I replied, slowly shaking my head.
“I see”, Ruin said, “Well, since you’re off to Sapporo, perhaps you can do a recon for Esme on the shopping there.”
“Not bad. Not bad at all.”, I smiled, “Now I know why I let you guys hang around with me.”
So, as advertised, I am now standing on the tarmac at LAX, basically feeling naked.
“Can’t I keep just one switchblade?” I moaned to Agent Rack.
“Go ahead, if you’re really keen on donating it to Japanese customs”, he replied.
“Fuckbuckets.” I groused.
“There, there now. That’s the usual Dr. Rocknocker of which we’re all so fond.” Agent Ruin chuckled.
“Remember, you do have that wallet-sized credit card gizmo from the Company. So you’re not entirely ‘naked’. Think of it as an emergency breechcloth.” He smiled.
“I’d like a larger model if you don’t mind. It’s chilly out here.” I joshed.
After Agents Rack and Ruin stripped me metaphorically naked as they de-weaponized me, they handed me a Business Class ticket to Tokyo, and a pass to the Japan Airlines Hospitality Suite and Lounge.
“So sorry you guys can’t hang around and have a few farewell snorts”, I chided, “But you’ve got a bit of a drive, so best be off before the weather turns to shit.”
“Who says we’re driving?” Agent Rack asked as he hooked a thumb over his shoulder at the ready and waiting C-130 cargo plane currently taxiing slowly in our direction.
“Well, in that case”, I smiled even more broadly, “Let’s invite the flight crew to join us. That’ll make the flight home all that much more interesting.”
After near tear-jerking farewell sentimentalities, i.e., “Piss on you”, “Get stuffed” and “Take a fuckin’ hike”; Agents Rack and Ruin, my weapons and the Agency’s plain-Jane Blue Chevy were all nestled snugger than buggers in ruggers in the belly of the thundering C-130.
Now truly on my own, I trudge the hundred thousand or so centisteps to my departure terminal, make a quick recon that my flight’s still slated to go in a generally westward direction, and hightail it to the nearest courtesy desk to ask for a motorized cart to take me and my remaining luggage to the JAL Hospitality Suite.
Hey. I’m old, infirm, and currently among the walking wounded.
Anyone that disagrees risks an Ankylosaur tail club swat or Thagomizer to the skull.
Finally ensconced in the JAL Hospitality Suite, Polo Lounge of course; I was drinking Tokyo Teas (3 oz. vodka, 2 oz. gin, 2 oz. rum, 1 oz. triple sec, 1 oz. Midori, good splash of lime juice, a slight splash of 7-Up (diet, of course), over ice with a lime wheel) with Pabst Blue Ribbon Extra 1844 chasers and Hangar One’s “Fog Point” vodka on the side, hiding from the brutish realities of this foul year of two thousand and twenty-something, Common Era…
I’ve already called Esme and we’ve had a good, long chat. She still managed to give me her shopping list for whenever I find myself bored on the Ginza.
She’ll be shocked when she learns that I’m not going to be in Tokyo long, but have 1st class tickets on the Bullet Train to Sapporo. Still, I’ll probably find myself in Pole Town or the Stellar Place there, trading piles of US greenbacks for locally produced Japanese curios and clothing.
I can hardly wait.
I order another round of drinks, as the wonderful attendants in the Hospitality Suite were bored out of their skulls because of the COVID-induced drop-in customers flying anywhere that requires a hospitality room stay, and I was virtually the only one around. They tried their level best to outdo each other when it comes to Japanese efficiency and friendliness.
After a couple of hours, they ask if I would like something from the grill, as the day chef had “the COVID” and the night chef just arrived. A quick perusal of the menu and I chose a 28-ounce dry-aged Porterhouse and another round of drinks.
I usually don’t like to eat too much before I fly, but JAL tells me the flight is going to be virtually empty, something like <121 pax, all told, so restroom availability shouldn’t be too much of a concern.
Plus, who am I to say no to a free, blue 28-ounce dry-aged Porterhouse?
There was a bit of difficulty conveying to the chef through the intermediaries of the hospitality just how I wanted my steak.
“Blue,” I said.
“Brue?” was the reply.
“Rare. Very, very rare.” I continued.
Look of total bewilderment.
I drag out my Personal Language Pro, speak “Steak, very, very rate” into the infernal gizmo, and hand the contraption to the attendant.
“珍しい、非常に珍しいステーキ?”[ Mezurashī, hijō ni mezurashī sutēki?]
“Raw! Nama!” I say, louder than need be.
They toddle off to find the chef.
“How is it sir, that you would like your steak cooked?” he asks.
“Very rare. Just a minute or two per side. Inside still cold.” I instructed.
All I got for the trouble was a puzzled smile.
“Give me the language gizmo…” I type in a few words…
“お尻を洗い、角をノックオフして、ここから出してください”
[O shiri o arai,-kaku o nokkuofu shite, koko kara dashite kudasai.]
“Wash its ass, knock its horns off, and walk it out here.”
“OH!” as the lightbulb pops. “Rare. Got it! Excellent!” the chef laughs and zips back to the kitchen.
Like I always say, I’m nothing if not the international ambassador of amity and goodwill.
“Crack tubes!”
Dinner was fantastic. I do wish I could have somehow mailed the Porterhouse bone back home for Khan. After that hambone incident, he might even taste it.
Finally on the plane, in an almost empty Business Class, the flight captain informs us that we’re headed to Haneda Airport Tokyo and anyone not headed in that direction better ‘haul ass off’ the flight or forever hold their peace.
Late-night international flights tend to be a bit more wooly than your average Chicago to Omaha gig.
Especially when the flight’s damn near empty and we have the next 12 hours or so to be best friends.
We taxi, turn and head into the wind. I’m doctoring up a couple of dossiers and keeping my personal cabin attendant, Luna since there were two of us in Business and two business flight attendants, busy with her trying to play ‘Stump the Geologist’.
“I’ll bet you never had this before.” She beamed and handed me a tumbler of very dangerous-looking brown liquor.
I cautiously sniff, take a modest gulp, swirl and glug the rest down.
“Ohishi Single Sherry Cask”, I say with a muffled belch. “Light. Fruity. An Englishman’s drink.”
“Oh. You knew. Let me try again.” She smiles beatifically.
“I have no objections to your proposal.” I smile as nicely as this crotchety old Komodo Dragon could.
She returns with another flagon of spirits; it smells of obsidian, leather, and earth.
I just had some of this back in LAX. I take a snort, smile, and shotgun the rest.
“Hibiki Japanese Harmony…lovely stuff.” I smile. “A little light for my jaded palate, but I’d never turn it down if it were free.”
“Oh, you win again. Wait. One more.” She smiles and skitters off to the galley.
She returns with another soupçon of some more dangerous brown liquor.
“Here, try this. It will make you very popular at social gatherings”. She smiles.
Sniff. “Splendid.” Snort. Swirl. Smile. Shotgun.
“Kanosuke New Born, if I’m not mistaken.” I smile back. “Very nice. I really do like this one.”
“You too good at this. One more!” she stands and stomps off defiantly. She returns in a trice and hands me the glass.
“Hmm…brown. Light notes of earth, leather, dating your daughter, and Kentucky…
“Beam Suntory, right?”
“You know them all!” she says, feigning irritation.
“And I thank you. Those were all excellent. Now, anything in the dangerous clear liquor category? I asked.
Luna smiled as I palmed off a 20k yen tip.
“Oh, no sir. Wait until we land.” She demurred, referring to the gratuity; which is know is not de rigueur in the Orient, but she didn’t seem to mind.
“Just in case we never make it to Tokyo”, I laughed, unknowingly presciently.
We both chuckled about that last line as she tried out various sakes and shōchūs and an actual Japanese ‘White Liquor’ (ホワイトリカー), which were all excellent as was the company.
I tell her that I need to get some work done and could she bring me a tall Rocknocker. After explain the origins and construction of the eponymous drink, she brings me one that must tip the scales at 1 or so liters.
She settles down to an empty seat and I get after the work that I need to finish before we land. I’m about ½ way through my drink when it felt as if the plane hit a brick wall. She quivered and quaked and clutched at herself while I made some comments about the pilot’s mental health.
We dropped like a paralyzed falcon, then just as suddenly, felt like it was an express elevator to Angel’s 11. The plane bucked and shimmied, wickedly. Then we slam-danced right and fell a few more stories. It was like we were in a Mixmaster and the owner was trying out every speed.
The emergency lights in the 777-300ER popped on, and the fasten seat belt sign barked loudly so even sleeping travelers could enjoy the show.
Rinse. Spin. Shudder. Repeat.
Finally, the ride smooths out and we hear the captain on the blower.
“This is your captain speaking…ah, we seem to have hit some uncharted turbulence back there.”
“Thanks, Captain Obvious”, I muttered.
“Everything’s A-OK. “ he reports.
“That’s good”, I note.
“But…”
“There’s always the but…” I groan.
“…we have a couple of warning lights for which we can’t quite account. So to just be safe and certain, we’re going to divert to Hawaii, get a clean bill of health and resume this flight once we make sure everything here is hunky-dory.”
There were scattered groans and applause. Add them together and divide by two and the average response on the flight was “Meh. Whatever.”
Except for the other guy in Business, with whom I hadn’t shared two words. He began to absolutely lose his shit.
“Oh, man! We’re so screwed! Mechanical malfunction? What does that mean?” he positively fizzed with fear.
The flight attendants tried to calm him down, to no avail. They basically gave up and said they’d report his misgivings to the Captain.
I motioned over to my personal flight attendant, Luna, and asked if I could be of service.
“Oh, Doctor Rock”, she smiled at me, “If you could speak with him. You are so calm, and he is…”
“Losing his bloody mind”, I chuckled as I finished her sentence for her. “Of course, I’ll take a stab at it.”
So, I grab my drink and ease over to my Business Class partner and introduce myself.
“Hey, pal. How’s it going? I’m Dr. Rock, gentleman, scholar, and connoisseur of cigars and things alcoholic. You doing OK?”
He looks at me with an ashen face and his eyes the size of bloodshot dinner plates.
“Yeah. I’m Todd Schotts. I’m flying to Japan for business.” He mumbles
“No surprise there,” I reply calmly and take a slug of my drink.
“But now we’re all going to die. The plane is busted and we’ll crash…” he started off again.
“So, Todd is it? Good. You drink?” I asked.
“Yeah?”, he stammered back.
I asked Luna to make us a fresh batch of my eponymous cocktails.
“OK, Todd, listen up”, I began after the drinks were served, “I have flown literally millions of miles over the last 4 decades. On Aeroflot when it was still the USSR. On TACA (Take A Chance Airways), on Chalk’s in the Caribbean, on Bob’s Verrifast Plane Company in Rhodesia, on regional carriers that don’t even exist anymore. All over the world. Had some bad experiences flying, and me ol’ mugger, this ain’t one of them. This is nothing more than the glitch for this mission.”
I chuckled lightly and complimented Luna on a fantastic drink.
“Yeah…yeah…yeah…but we have to land and check out some lights…” Todd squealed.
“Well now, Todd. It would be rather difficult to do any external assessment while in flight, don’t you agree?” I asked.
“But we’re diverting. We have to land and that adds more risk. We’re going to crash and die!” he was coming more and more unglued.
“I will bet you every cent you have on your person and home bank accounts that that will not happen”, I chuckled.
That took him by surprise. At least it shut him up for a while.
“Look, Todd. This is Boeing’s latest model. They have the most incredible safety record. And if a little clear air turbulence were to be knocking planes out of the sky, don’t you think we’d hear about it as the press went berserk?” I asked.
“But they don’t know what the lights mean! What if one of the engines’s out? How far can we fly on one engine?” Todd stuttered.
Having my fill of a supposedly grown man with inane childlike fears, I calmly replied,
“All the way to the crash site.”
He went white.
“...hope we hit something hard. I don’t want to limp away from this.”
He went limp.
Then I went to my seat and motioned for Luna to prepare a reload.
Of course, 45 minutes later, we land without incident at Daniel K. Inouye International Airport, Honolulu Hawaii.
We were told to just wait around until they figure out what the problem if any, was.
They had officials waiting at the end of the jetway to check our COVID status and passports before they let us loose in the terminal.
I asked Luna if she knew this airport. She noted that she did.
“Is there a JAL hospitality room here at this airport? I asked.
“Yes, Doctor. It’s the Sakura Lounge. It is located on the third level above The Local, Terminal 2.” She replied.
“Please notify whoever needs to know that that’s where I’ll be for the duration”, I smiled and handed her my business card. “See you soon, I hope.”
“Oh, Dr. Rock”, she replied, “I am sure it is nothing much. We’ll be back in the air within mere hours.”
“Well then”, I smiled, “Guess I’d better get ready to hoof it to the lounge.”
“Oh, Doctor Rock”, she smiled, “No rush. I will call for you a courtesy cart. You are injured, you are Business, you are priority.”
“I love that Asian efficiency.” I smiled back and toddled down the jetway.
At the terminus of the jetway, I show my COVID-clear papers, dates and times of my Anti-Virus vaccine administrations, the letter from Virginia clearing me of all detention, and my red Russian diplomatic passport.
While in the cart, whizzing our way to the JAL lounge, the driver said “Man! You must be some kind of VIP. You were through that welcoming committee in less than two minutes!”
“Me? Nah!”, I chuckled, “Just an old phart of a geologist that they didn’t want to mess with. Not on such a bright, sunny day as this.”
“I see you’re not wearing a mask.” The driver quipped.
“Very observant. There are reasons for that.” I replied.
He careens around a corner and if this were a normal pre-Covid day, I’m certain we’d have killed hundreds. However, the airport, as I’ve come to grow accustomed to, was virtually deserted.
“Yeah? Like what?” he asks.
“Well, Scooter, 1. I have an active and hardworking immune system that I let off the chain every once in a while for exercise. Got to let it know what it’s up against, right? 2. I’ve had all my shots and some that were experimental. They seem to have worked. And 3. I find it difficult to drink and smoke cigars while wearing a mask. However, if you’d prefer, I will mask up. No problem, though it still is optional.”
“Nah, man”, he said, “I was just wondering if you were one of those religious idiots or conspiracy nuts.”
Nope”, I smiled back, “Just another geologist out in the world plying his trade for cash. Y’know, whorin’ around for money.”
He laughs aloud as we skid to a stop right in front of Lounge.
I slip the guy a $20 and ask if he’d listen for the JAL flight I was just on. If we’re going on ahead today, I’d need him to scoot by and putt-putt me back to the plane.
He laughs and pockets the $20 as quick as a mink ruts.
“No worries. I’ll just hang around this area. I hear anything about the flight, I’ll come and let you know.” He grins.
“Good man”, I say, as I hand him my card. “I’m Dr. Rocknocker. Call me Rock”.
“And I’m Kapula Mano, call me Kap” he replies.
“Good man”, I say again, “Hope to see you in a while.”
He grins, floors his electric cart, and peels out at speeds approaching 4.5 MPH.
I wander into the lounge, show my credentials, and am escorted to a post up on Mahogany Ridge.
The bar is very quiet. Besides the bartender, I can’t see anyone else in the darkened and Smooth Jazz-infused drinking emporium.
I order a local drink, a Mai Tai, just for the experience and something a bit different.
It’s served in a goldfish bowl on a stem, bedecked with a slice of lime, a sprig of mint, a stick of sugar cane, a polychromatic orchid, and the obligate paper umbrella.
“Ah. Mai Tai. I will enjoy it.” I said to no one in particular.
One was enough, and I decided to go back to the old standard. Once I explained to the bartender what that was, he made them heroic and enthusiastically.
I’m reading up on a random dossier, making notes in a new file, and puffing away on a Fuentes Onyx double Maduro Churchill cigar.
I hear a slight cough coming from my right, and this here lovely lady, she sat to my immediate starboard and looked at me semi-quizzically.
Not in the mood for shenanigans of any stripe, I give her the obligate Baja Canada nod and tilt of the drink. I return to my dossiers and continue to read and take notes.
“Excuse me!” I hear.
Fearing the worst, either the woman is Karen-oid anti-smoking or a religious fruit-and-nutburger, I slowly turn to face her and reply, somewhat glacially, I have to admit.
“What?”
“That cigar…”
“Here we go…” I mutter, eyes rolling northward.
“Smells exquisite. Could you tell me the brand? My husband would enjoy some like that.” She notes.
Instantly my demeanor switches 180^0.
“Yes, ma’am. It’s an Arturo Fuentes Onyx. Churchill size, or 60 ring x 7” length, double Maduro. Here, take one for your husband. I have an ample supply.” I smile.
“Oh, no. I couldn’t. Could I?” she asks.
“Please. I insist.” I smile the best I could given the circumstances.
“Thank you. You’re too kind…umm…Mr….?”
“Doctor. Doctor Rocknocker. World traveler, oilman, and international ambassador of amity, good drinks, and fine cigars. Call me Rock” I said.
“Oh! A Doctor?” she brightens.
“Yes, of Petroleum Geology and Engineering. Not medicine.” I chuckle.
She chuckles back.
“And I am Hella Aaberg”, as she offers her hand for a quick shake.
“Interesting name, Hella. Scandinavian or Old German heritage?” I ask.
“On my father’s side. He’s Finnish.” She replies.
“But I’ll wager your mother is not Scandinavian, correct?” I ask.
“She was from Truk, an island…”
“In the South Pacific, Micronesia. Was she from Weno city?” I asked.
“Why yes. How could you possibly know that?” she asked.
“Oh, I’ve been there. Great diving amongst the WWII wrecks. I think it’s actually called ‘Chuuk Lagoon’ or something like that now.” I said.
“That’s right! Amazing. Where else have you been?” she asked.
“Anywhere there’s oil, strife, booze, cigars, heavy explosives and typically long distances from whatever most normal people call civilization,” I replied with a chuckle.
Suddenly, I hear a voice booming out behind me.
“Why don’t you save that rapier-like wit for those musky-fuckers back home, Rocko?”
My expression changes. My eyes pop fully wide open.
“Hella?” I asked.
“Yes?”
“May I ask you a favor?”
“You can ask…”
“Thank you. Now, looking over my shoulder, is there a hulking goon of a person, thin up top, paunchy halfway down with the most ridiculously tiny sized shoes you’ve ever seen for a so-called grown man?” I ask.
“Yes. Yes, there is.” She replies.
“I thought so. Many thanks.”
I spin and launch off my barstool and grab Toivo by the hand. He hadn’t seen my left-hand Thagomizer yet.
“Toivo! You old sumbitch. What the flying fennec fox fuck are you, of all people, doing in Hawaii?” I laughed.
“Just keeping an eye on you, Rock!” he laughed equally as loud.
“No, fucking-A, seriously. What the actual fuck? What are you doing in this actual nice place?” I asked.
“Just headed to Tokyo to conduct a bit of service company business. I walked into the lounge and smelled a foul cigar. I figured it can’t be the venerable Dr. Rocknocker. He’s back at some school up north terrorizing geology and engineering grads and undergrads.” Toivo laughed.
“But there I was. Surprise!”, I laughed and pumped his hand.
“What the fuck, Rock. Now what did you do?” he asks, referring to my Ankylosaur tail club left hand.
“Ah, fuck. Long story. Oh, pardon me. Toivo, this is Hella. We were just talking about the South Seas Islands.” I said.
“Planning on running off together?” Toivo laughs, to the amusement of neither party.
“Oh, and this idiot is Toivo, a man with a congenital foot-in-mouth disorder. He’s mostly harmless.” I noted to Hella.
Greetings were shared all around. Hella made some small excuses and said she needed to depart. I gave her another cigar for her husband, shook her hand, and wished her well.
“Here’s my business card. If your husband has any questions, have him drop me a line.” I noted.
Hella smiled beautifully. She said she would. Then she thanked me shook our hands, and like that, there she was, gone.
“Well Toivo, you old bastard. Don't just stand there in the doorway like some lonesome goddamn mouse shit sheepherder, get your ass over here and have a drink.” I motioned over to my perch on Mahogany Ridge.
“Don’t mind if I do”, he says as he deftly winds his way to a seat to my left, snagging a cigar out of my pocket on the way over.
“You might want these”, I say in an exasperated tone, and hand him my gold Dunhill Hobnail lighter and V-cutter gizmo.
He cuts and fires up his heater.
“What you drinkin’, Rock”, he asks.
“Anything with alcohol, as usual. You know that Toiv.” I reply.
“No. I mean right now.” He clarifies.
“Well, I had a Mai Tai. Very nice if you like fruity, flowery drinks. It’s the locals’ favorite.” I reply.
“Sounds good. I’ll have several. And you?” Toivo asks.
“My usual. The bartender is already apprised of the situation.” I reply.
Toivo smiles the smile of one knowing his sobriety is going to be taken out for a swim. Hell, taken out and tossed into the deep end.
Toivo and I sit there, swapping lies, smoking cigars and sipping at our toddies.
Hell, Toivo was slurping them like a sump-pump during an extra-wet summer.
We chattered about family, work, whether or not Tokyo was going to host the Olympics or if the COVID-boogie man scared everyone off.
Toivo, always one afflicted with TB (“Tiny Bladder”) got up to go to the loo for the third time that hour. He left his pocket organizer on the bar and I swear on a stack of Origins of Species, I didn’t touch it.
I reached over to his vacated seat to retrieve my cigar lighter when I looked down and saw in his organizer a tab that reads “Rack & Ruin”.
“Oh. No. Fucking. Way.” I recoiled as I’d just reached out and petted a 6-foot hungover scorpion.
“One of my best friends? Secretly allied with the Agency? No. Not possible.” I drained my drink and called for another.
“No. No. No. It can’t be. No. No fucking way…” as doubt began to dissolve when I thought back to all those times I had just ‘run into’ Toivo.
“But he’s oil patch as well. That could be chalked up to coincidence.” I ruminated quizzically in my brain.
I quickly reflected back on J.M. Darhower: “Yes, you see, there’s no such thing as coincidence. There are no accidents in life. Everything that happens is the result of a calculated move that leads us to where we are.”
She may be the author of the execrable New Adult Sempre series, which Esme likes and I loathe, but she might just be right on this occasion.
Toivo return, lighter in the bladder and good sense. He never even noticed he’d left his organizer out in broad bar light for all to see.
“So, Toivo, when’s your flight?” I ask.
“Oh, man. Was I lucky. The JAL flight to Tokyo from Los Angeles had mechanical trouble and had to divert here. I got a ticket on the plane for that flight, when it continues.
“You mean ‘if it continues’,” I replied.
“Yeah. Yeah. That’s what I meant. Hey! Was that your flight?” he asks innocently. He’s really innocent of fieldcraft.
I decide to have some fun at my old friend’s expense.
“Yep. Hit some CAT (Clear Air Turbulence) and the JAL pilots reported some lighting problem. No apparent ruin to any of the systems. They relay racked their brains to figure it out, but they couldn’t that’s why I here.” I said, waiting for the words to swim upstream in Toivo’s coconut and make some sort of connection.
“Yeah. Double lucky. No problem with the plane and I get to go to Japan early.” Toivo crookedly grins.
“So, no trouble with the plane? Then why haven’t I heard that the flight’s going to resume?” I asked as I pushed a fresh, seriously strong drink to Toivo.
“Oh, must have heard it in the john.” Toivo countered and tried to cover his tracks by taking a huge gulp of his drink and damn near dying coughing.
I pound on Toivo’s back.
“Heimlich time?” I ask.
Toivo signals ‘no’.
“Jesus Christ, Rock. What was that?” he asks.
“Just my usual”, I innocently replied.
“Holy fuck. No wonder you have the reputation of…” Toivo realizes too late that he’s said too much.
“Yeah. They can rack you out. Really ruin a person if they’re not careful.” I reply icily.
“Why, Rock. Whatever do you mean?” Toivo slurred as he realized he’s been caught out.
“The jig is up, you turncoat. You know Agents Rack and Ruin from the agency. Right? You keeping tabs on me for them? You Quisling! You Benedict Arnold!” I almost was on the verge of losing my cool.
“It was nothing. They approached me years ago as I kept being mentioned in your reports. They asked me for some information. One thing leads to another…” Toivo was ready for an Ankylosaur tail club swat to the bean.
“Oh, put your fucking hands down, you asshole.” I smiled and chuckled.
“You’re not mad?” Toivo slurred badly. I had the bartender make him another special drink.
“No, Toivo. Not mad. Just disappointed.” I said, smiling like a Komodo Dragon just finishing up a fortnight-old wildebeest.
Toivo sat there and puzzled and puzzled until his puzzler was sore.
“You’re not going to kill me or anything rude like that?” Toivo asked, half-assedly trying to inject humor into the proceedings.
“Nah. The paperwork’s too ridiculous for me to do another liberation. But, Jesus Fucking Christwagons, Toivo; you could have mentioned it to me. Fuck, I thought we were friends to the end?” I said, dejectedly.
I was really getting through to Toivo. I could tell he was loaded; feeling like shit and massively deplorable.
Great fieldcraft, indeed.
I told him things “are what they are” and that I won’t blow his cover nor his honorarium.
He began to feel better. I often wonder if he was serious about the sanctioning thing.
Then I delivered the strategic missile strike.
“Just remember, Toivo. I wrote your dossier for the Company…”
He swivels to look at me.
“And one for the KGB. Olga says ‘howdy’.” I grin evilly.
Toivo short-circuited at that. Russia is his company’s bread and butter. Now he has the KGB as well as his best buddy looking over his shoulder at every move.
I bought him a few more drinks and continued to needle him about his ’leading a double life’. He was well and truly fuckered when the electric tap-tap driver from before came looking for me to whisk me back to the plane.
Seems it was simply some knocked-out wires on the plane, or slammed bulbs that were generating a false positive, indicating something other than the system that alerts one to something haywire went haywire.
Toivo was pretty much down for the count. I got him sober enough to hand them his ticket and ensure that he was really supposed to be on this flight. Thing was; h e was in Economy, and I was, as always, in Business.
I spoke to Luna, and the plane was going to be even less crowded than previously because some folks could or wouldn’t wait, or didn’t want to go on with the rest of the trip on a ‘damaged’ aircraft, or were just stupid and superstitious.
“Luna, could I pay for the difference between Business and Economy for my less than 100% conscious friend here? He’s had a rough day.” I asked.
“Dr. Rock. Just put him into Business. No one will be the wiser. Luna says so.” As she gave us a grand smile.
“Luna, I owe you. Thanks so much.” I said.
“Now get on board. Your friend looks like he needs all the downtime he can get.”
“Yes, ma’am!” I said and saluted here be best I could which dragging a schnozzled Toivo down the jetway.
I dumped Toivo in a window seat well away from my seat. I know Toivo. He snores like a semi-load of live hogs rocketing downhill locking up the brakes at 88 MPH.
Surprise! There was no one else in Business. Luna looked at me, at Toivo, and gave me a thumbs up.
Whatever I can write to further her career at JAL, she’ll have it before I deplane.
We finally get everyone settled, and with Captain Kangaroo at the helm, we bounced gracelessly off the tarmac, into the warm, tropical Hawaiian air, finally headed for the Land of the Rising Sun.
Toivo was snoring like a chainsaw hitting rusty nails as I worked on the various letters, communiques, and dossiers which needed updating before we reached touchdown. I gave Luna a thick letter with instructions not to open it until we were on the ground and Toivo and I were well off and away into the terminal.
We left Hawaii at 1300 hours, so we should arrive at Tokyo Nareda around 4:00 pm, the previous day. I was so bereft of time and time zones, I couldn’t figure out what time it really was, as judged by my biometric rhythms, so I asked Luna for a stiff drink as I was kicking off my boots and going to attempt to get some kip.
She brought me another liter or so eponymous drink. I was sawing logs by the time I slurped the last swig of that nifty drink.
Suddenly, or later, I have no idea really, some loudmouth drunk asshole from way-the-fuck-back in economy-land toward the ass end of the plane staggered into Business demanding free drinks.
Luna was nothing but civil, and asked him to both shut up and return to his seat. His air cabin hostess, or whatever the fuck they’re calling them these days, will attend to his needs.
“Naw they won’t! They want me to pay for more drinks! I’m broke but I demand more booze! You fucking owe me.” railed the asshole. “I sat at the bar in Hawaii for four hours. Them fuckers charged me an arm and a leg!”
“No, they don’t owe you shit”, I said in a voice that unmistakably loud and clear.
“Fuck you, old man! You stay the fuck out of this!” he bellowed. “Shut up or I’ll do ya’!”
“’Old man’? ‘Do me’? Excuse me. Luna, may I have a word alone with this individual?” I asked sweetly.
Luna shook her head in the affirmative, and I stood up to confront this flagrant asshole.
“Now look, Scooter. You have gone way, way over the fucking line. You are loud. You are abusive. You are obnoxious. And you stink. Plus you insulted a person who is just barely containing his righteous wrath right now. So, I’m giving you one and one only chance to shut up, sit back down before your body spontaneously develops all sort of bruises, contusions, broken bones, and unconsciousness.” I said calmly, evenly, and threateningly.
“What da’ fuck you think you’re going to do…old man?” he screeched, trying to inflate himself into full mammalian threat posture, all 5’ 9” of it.
He didn’t notice Toivo walking up quietly behind him, as Toivo was returning from the head, quiet as a moose.
“Well, Scooter, I am an Air Marshall. Duly appointed, fully trained, and properly pissed off. Right now, I can arrest you, physically detain you, turn this flight around and take you to the Hawaiian police, at your cost for the inconvenience of the entire flight. Or I could arrest you, physically detain you, and turn you over to the Japanese authorities when we land. It’s really your choice. Choose wisely.”
To be continued…⇝

IF YOU’RE LOOKING for a place where misadventure could begin, you can’t go past Mbargo. The nightclub’s streetfront is painted a purple so bright you’ll see it in your dreams. Strings of giant sequins shimmer in the breeze. Its phonically inventive name is spelt in silver letters that climb its three-storey terrace facade. Inside are strips of burning neon, a few booths, floorboards so marinated in drink that they have an ingredients list. Bristol is a student city on England’s south coast crowded with music and nightlife and street art. This is Banksy’s home town, and the tourism board suggests in rather strong terms that ‘you would be a fool not to see his amazing work firsthand’. The same organisation describes Mbargo as ‘intimate’, which is fair for a place where you can catch an STI standing up. Students cram into its modest dimensions while people with names like DJ Klaud battle for billing with £1.50 drink deals over seven sloppy nights a week. To get a sense of the story about to come, consider that it’s the kind of place open until two o’clock on a Monday morning, and that at two o’clock on a Monday morning, Ben Stokes still thought it had closed too early.
The Ashes of 2017–18 had disciplinary bookends. It was after that series that Australia’s two leaders went off the rails in South Africa. It was a few weeks before that Ashes tour that England’s biggest star windmilled his way into his own disaster.
In the early hours of 25 September 2017, Stokes and teammate Alex Hales were barred from re-entering Mbargo after a night out on the piss. A Sunday thrashing of an abject West Indies in an ignored series at the fag-end of the season apparently required ample celebration. After arguing with the bouncer and hanging about at the door for a while, they wandered off to find a casino in the hope of more drinking. They’d barely made it around the corner before getting in the middle of a conflict between four locals. As is said on the internet, it escalated quickly.
The 26 September reporting was bloodless. Withholding names, police stated that a man ‘was arrested on suspicion of causing actual bodily harm’ while another went to hospital with facial injuries. England’s director of cricket Andrew Strauss separately confirmed that Stokes was the arrestee, adding that he had been released without charge and that Hales had gamely offered to ‘help police with their enquiries’. Administrators had a good chance of hiding behind that investigation, and the next day Stokes was named in the upcoming Ashes squad as expected. But that night the video emerged.
Bristol student Max Wilson had shot it on his phone, then offered it to The Sun. What he thought was playing hardball was actually lowball: his opening price of £3000 was snapped up by a tabloid that would have paid ten times that. The Sun went on to make a mint by syndicating the rights worldwide. From a window above the fray, the vision showed six men on the street below performing the muddled choreography of a melee. One was right at the centre of it. One was waving a bottle, one dipped in and out, one tried to calm it. Two others floated around the edges. The central figure was unmistakable: red hair burning even in the streetlight as he launched into a series of blows against two of the men, falling to grapple with them on the ground, then following both across the street, swinging punches the whole way. Hales trailed behind, repeatedly and impotently shouting ‘Stokes! Stop! Stokes! Enough!’ The ECB could fudge issues that existed only in thickets of legalese, but not those captured in moving colour. Stokes was stood down from the next West Indies match, then suspended indefinitely. It emerged that he had broken his hand during the fight, something he’d done twice before while punching objects in dressing rooms.
The response in Australia was fierce: Stokes was a thug, a lowlife, a selection that would disgrace England. It was not entirely coincidental that a ban for England’s best player would be handy for the Aussie team, but there was also a cultural split. In England, plenty of people still minimise pub fights as lads letting off steam. In Australia, heavy media coverage as a succession of young men were killed had inverted that tolerance. The discourse now saw any punch as potentially deadly and accordingly reckless. This was more poignant in a cricket context given that David Hookes, the dashing Test batsman and state coach, was killed in 2004 by a pub bouncer’s fist.
The PR situation was bad for Stokes as details emerged of the injuries to the men he’d hit, and that one was a young war veteran and father. Stokes wasn’t officially removed from the Ashes squad through October but stayed behind when his teammates left, hoping for police to dismiss the matter in time for a late dash to Australia. His annual contract was renewed on the due date in case that came to pass. Then 29 October brought a twist in the tale.
‘Ben Stokes praised by gay couple after defending them from homophobic thugs,’ ran the headline. Kai Barry and Billy O’Connell had emerged. Not entirely out of nowhere: while Stokes had made no public comment, this story in his defence had initially been leaked to TV host Piers Morgan after the fight, as soon as the video appeared. Police body-camera footage played in court would later show that Stokes had given the same story to the arresting officer on the night. But no-one knew the identities of the fifth and sixth men in the video, and police appeals had turned up nothing.
It was The Sun again with the breakthrough. Kai and Billy were perfect for a readership not keen on nuance. ‘We couldn’t believe it when we found out they were famous cricketers. I just thought Ben and Alex were quite hot, fit guys,’ said Kai, who was memorably described as a ‘former House of Fraser sales assistant’. The paper had the pair do a full photo shoot: layering the fake tan, showing off chest waxes, mixing Ralph Lauren and Louis Vuitton into a range of outfits. Their best shot had them standing back to back, heads turned to the camera, in a mirror-image Zoolander moment.
Suddenly The Sun was the England team’s best friend. ‘Their claims could lead to the all-rounder being cleared over the punch-up and freed to play in the First Test in Australia next month,’ it gushed, then gave a tasting platter of quotes: ‘We were so grateful to Ben for stepping in to help. He was a real hero.’ ‘If Ben hadn’t intervened it could have been a lot worse for us.’ ‘We could’ve been in real trouble. Ben was a real gentleman.’ Would it be known forever as Kai and Billy’s Ashes? No. While the Bristol boys provided spin for Stokes’ reputation they didn’t influence the police. With charges still pending there was little choice – not given Strauss had previously sacked Kevin Pietersen for being annoying. Stokes remained suspended through the Ashes and a one-day series in Australia, and lost the vice-captaincy. It was January 2018 before the Crown Prosecution Service laid a charge.
That charge surprisingly came in as affray, a crime that can carry prison time but is classified as ‘a breach of the peace as a result of disorderly conduct’. The men he had punched, Ryan Ali and Ryan Hale, faced the same count, charged as equal participants in a fight rather than Stokes being charged with assaulting them. Alex Hales was not charged, despite being seen in the video to aim several kicks when Ryan Ali was lying on the ground. Given the underwhelming standing of the offence, Stokes was cleared by the ECB to tour New Zealand, and kept playing until his trial in August 2018, which he missed a Test to attend. None of the three defendants would be convicted.
The reasoning behind the charges was never released and was attributed vaguely to ‘CPS lawyers’. The service gave the case to Alison Morgan, a prosecutor of a class known as Treasury Counsel who usually handle serious criminal matters. Morgan had a scheduling clash and never ended up court for the case, but in 2018 and 2019 she would go on to win damages and admissions of libel from The Daily Mail, The Times and The Daily Telegraph variously for incorrectly reporting that she had been responsible for the inadequate and inconsistent charging decisions.
Morgan’s successor on the case was Nicholas Corsellis QC, who on the first day of trial was permitted by the CPS to request two assault charges be added against Stokes. ‘Upon further review,’ claimed a CPS statement, ‘we considered that additional assault charges would also be appropriate.’ This was patent nonsense from the service that eight months earlier had chosen the lesser charge. Any lawyer knows that no judge will allow new charges once a trial has begun, because the defence hasn’t had time to prepare. But such a request could deflect criticism of the prosecution service by technically making the judge the one who disallows the charge.
Working through the story from the trial and the tape is complicated. You had a Ryan and a Ryan, a Hale and a Hales, a Billy and a Barry and a Ben. You had several versions of events as to who knew whom, who was drinking with whom, who had insulted whom and who had merely engaged in ‘banter’, a word that in modern Britain has to do an unconscionable amount of lifting. The reporting had constantly mixed up the Ryans as to who had which injury, who was in hospital, who had played which part in the fight, and whose mum had which stern words to say about it.
Let’s agree that from now Ryan Ali is Ryan One, the firefighter who ended up with a fractured eye socket and a cracked tooth. Ryan Two can be Ryan Hale, the soldier who scored concussion and facial lacerations. Mr Barry and Mr O’Connell are best known per The Sun as Kai and Billy. In scorecard parlance we’ll leave the cricketers as Stokes and Hales.
Amid the confusion, Stokes and his lawyers built his case in a straightforward way. The UK legal definition of affray is ‘if a person threatens or uses unlawful violence or force towards another person, which causes another person of reasonable firmness present at the scene to fear for their safety’. That means it doesn’t account for violence that harms a target, but violence that might frighten a theoretical bystander. The wiggle room for Stokes was with ‘unlawful’, because the charge excuses violence in defending oneself or others.
This interpretation hinged on the beginning of the video, where Ryan One waves a beer bottle about and takes a swing at Kai. The version from Stokes was that he was minding his own business walking down the street when he heard homophobic abuse. He intervened verbally and was threatened verbally by Ryan One – something that Ryan One denied but that couldn’t be proved or disproved. In fear for his safety Stokes had to nullify that threat by bashing Ryan One before it went the other way. He registered Ryan Two in his peripheral vision as another possible threat, and again had only one recourse.
Stokes also had to convince the jury to disregard testimony from Mbargo’s bouncer that he had been looking for a fight. A solid lump of a man, Andrew Cunningham had not enjoyed his patron’s attempts to get back into the club after the bouncer declined an offer of a bribe. ‘He got a bit verbally abusive towards myself. He mentioned my gold teeth and he said I looked like a cunt and I replied, “Thank you very much.” He just looked at me and told me my tattoos were shit and to look at my job.’ Cunningham described these words as coming in ‘a spiteful tone, quite an angry tone’, and said that Stokes still seemed angry as he walked away.
These were details the doorman had nothing to gain by inventing, but each of them Stokes denied. By his own accounting he had drunk a beer at the game and three pints at his hotel, then ‘potentially had some Jägerbombs’ along with half a dozen vodkas at the club. He insisted that after all of this he was not drunk.
If I may take a moment here to call upon the wisdom of experience – a person who cannot definitively say whether they have had any Jägerbombs has definitely had some Jägerbombs. A Jägerbomb is an experience that does not pass one by. Further to that, a person who says they have ‘potentially’ done something has definitely done that thing and doesn’t want to admit it. A person who has had between 15 and 24 standard drinks in one evening is shitfaced. A person who tries to bribe a bouncer £300 – three hundred quid! – to get into Mbargo – Mbargo! – is beyond shitfaced.
If Stokes admitted that he was drunk then the prosecution could say he was out of control. He claimed clear recall of assessing a threat, feeling fear and deciding to protect himself with force. He confidently denied details from the bouncer’s testimony, like using the word ‘cunt’ or mentioning gold teeth. Yet on other details he claimed a ‘significant memory blackout’. He didn’t remember the punch that saw Ryan One taken away by ambulance. He didn’t remember what the Ryans had said to Kai and Billy, only that those words were homophobic. With no head injury, as one of the few people who hadn’t been hit, he had supposedly suffered this memory loss despite being sober.
The version from Kai and Billy was compatible but vague: they had been walking along, they ‘heard … shouts’ of abuse from an unspecified source, then Stokes ‘stepped in’ and thus they avoided possible harm. They claimed to have been bought a drink by Stokes at Mbargo, although CCTV showed them meeting outside. The overall implication from both accounts was that the cricketers had been pals with Kai and Billy, while the Ryans as per The Sun’s headline were a roving band of thugs.
The reality though is that the Ryans were the ones hanging out with Kai and Billy at Mbargo. Police discussed CCTV from inside the club in questioning and at trial. On that footage the four Bristolians bought drinks for one another, danced together, and Kai was noted to have variously touched Ryan Two’s crotch and Ryan One’s buttock. Ryan One told police that all of this was taken lightheartedly and wasn’t a problem. Indeed, when the Ryans called it a night the other two left with them.
This much is clear from footage out the front of Mbargo, which shows Kai and Billy exit the club and start talking with a subdued Hales and a demonstrative Stokes, who are stuck outside. The vision was played in court to determine whether Stokes was antagonistic towards Kai and Billy, as he appears to impersonate them and to throw a lit cigarette their way. More interesting is that after a few minutes the Ryans emerge, and all six actors in the fight video briefly form a prequel in the one frame.
Ryan Two pats Billy on the chest in friendly fashion with his right hand before clapping him on the back with his left. He moves past and does the same to Kai before leaving the shot. Ryan One stops to speak to Kai. They lean in for a moment, talking, then Kai turns and they walk out of frame together. Billy hangs around for a few seconds at the door and then looks after them and races to catch up. Stokes and Hales remain outside the club to remonstrate further with the bouncers. Whatever discord develops around the corner is between four men who left amicably together minutes earlier.
There’s no way to know what caused that friction. If Ryan One did use homophobic slurs, he might have been drunkenly obnoxious for no reason. He might have had an insecure macho response to some extra flirtation. He might have thought unkindness was funny – ‘banter’ once again. Or he might have said something that was misunderstood, as both Ryans insisted in court that they had not used nor had the impulse to use any abusive language.
What clearly didn’t happen was an attack by bigots on random passers-by. This kind of crime is regular enough that an audience understands the horror of it, and this is what was evoked by the public accounts of Stokes, Billy and Kai. All we know is that there was some verbal dispute among the Bristol locals, and that Stokes came along behind them and put himself in the middle of it. Ryan One responded to the interference aggressively and away they went. There are plenty of reasons to look sideways at the idea that Stokes was a saviour. Foremost, neither Kai nor Billy was called upon as witnesses in court. You’d think it would be ideal to have Stokes’ story backed up by those who benefited from his selflessness. But his defence team had developed the impression that the pair had shown a changeable recall of events amid a hard-partying lifestyle, and would be dismantled by the prosecution on the stand.
That raises the question of whether The Sun coached their quotes for the 2017 interview. Despite missing court, Kai and Billy clearly enjoyed the attention. In 2018 after the trial they did a follow-up spread in the same paper about how poor Ben had been mistreated. They got a television spot on Good Morning Britain and glowed about his heroism. In 2019 The Sun wheeled them out once more to say that Stokes should get a knighthood. In 2017 they had ‘never watched cricket’ but by 2019 were supposedly volunteering sentences like, ‘He saved us, now he’s saved the Ashes.’ Whether they were paid for these appearances is not known, but the chance to be famous for a day can be lure enough.
If you find this cynical, consider that on the night in question, the Bristol boys were so deeply moved and thankful for Ben’s intervention that they left him to be arrested and never attempted to find out who he was. Seconds after the video ended, an off-duty policeman reached the scene. You might think that someone grateful to a saviour would speak on his behalf. Instead, said Kai, ‘it all got a bit scary so we walked off. It was too much for me and we went to Quigley’s takeaway for chicken burgers and cheesy chips.’ They didn’t give their hero a thought for over a month while police issued multiple appeals for witnesses.
As for Stokes, he told his arresting officer that ‘his friends’ had been attacked. After three minutes of chat outside a nightclub, these friends were so dear to him that he has never contacted them again: not after the newspaper piece, not after the verdict. He didn’t want to see how they were or thank them for their support. He didn’t mention them by name in his solicitor’s statement after the trial.
The Stokes defence rested on Ryan One’s bottle, which he had carried out of Mbargo to finish a beer, not to use in a Sharks versus Jets amateur production. But once he turned it over to hold it by the neck it became a weapon. Intent and interpretation can change the material nature of things. Part of Stokes’ justification in court was that the bottle implied that the two Ryans might have ‘other weapons’ hidden away. You can understand how a jury could decide that created doubt.
Not being convicted, though, doesn’t give the contents of the video a big green tick. It does not, as his lawyer claimed, vindicate Stokes. Looking in detail, Ryan One is belligerent but his movements telegraph a bluff. Hales is the person he’s gesturing at, but they’re several metres apart when Ryan One cocks his arm ostentatiously, showing off the bottle rather than bracing to swing. He skips forward but Hales skips back and Ryan One doesn’t follow. Kai stretches out an arm to impede Ryan One, who has a drunken stumble, nearly eats pavement, then staggers towards Kai and hits him in the back. That hand is still holding the bottle, but his strike is a side-arm cuff on a soft part of the body. It’s all pretty tame.
This is where Stokes gets involved. Having moved across to protect Hales, he now takes three large steps to run around Kai and booms his first punch at Ryan One. They fall to the ground and the bottle clinks away. Stokes gets to his feet to punch down at the fallen man, while Hales arrives to kick him ineffectively then runs off across the street for some unknown reason. Ice-cream van? Stokes is soon back in the grapple having his shirt pulled up to show off his Durham tan. Ryan Two steps in for the first time to pull Stokes away, prompting a couple more random punches at this new target, then Stokes trips backwards over Ryan One and sprawls in the street. Hales chooses this moment to return and aim some solid kicks at the head of the man on the ground. Nothing so far is a triumph of moral philosophy or the pugilistic arts. But if it all stopped here, perhaps you could say it was somewhere approaching fair. Ryan One has behaved like a turnip and it’s not an entirely unjust world that would give him a whack across the chops. The antagonists have disentangled, Stokes has some distance, it’s time to dust off and go home. Ryan Two steps forward for this purpose with his palm raised in conciliatory style and says, ‘Settle down, stop.’
So Stokes punches him.
It’s roughly his fifth punch overall, and he really winds up into this one. He misses so hard that he stumbles away into the shadows of the shop awnings along the road.
Hales starts shouting for him to stop. Ryan Two backs into the street, still holding his palm up. Stokes closes on him from about five metres away, six large steps, to where Ryan Two is standing on his own. Stokes pushes him a couple of times, as Ryan Two keeps trying to placate him and saying ‘Stop.’ Stokes throws his sixth punch, largely missing as his target ducks.
Ryan Two keeps pulling away and reversing, into the middle of the street now. Stokes follows him, grabbing his sleeve to drag him back. By this point Ryan One has found his feet and walked around behind his friend. Both of them are in the same line of sight for Stokes, and both are backing away. Stokes aims his seventh and his eighth punches, which Ryan Two tries to deflect, as Hales walks up behind Stokes to grab him.
Stokes yanks away from his friend and switches to Ryan One instead, taking seven paces to grab him before throwing his ninth punch of the night. He grabs again; Ryan One blocks that arm and pushes himself back away from Stokes. Ryan Two again intercedes, putting himself between the two with his palms up and his arm extended.
Stokes throws his tenth punch, a right-hander at the face of Ryan Two, then shoves him backwards. Ryan Two backs away once more, four paces. Stokes follows, steadies, lines up, then launches his strongest punch yet, his eleventh, a proper right hook from a solid base, one that cracks across the man’s head and gives him concussion. Ryan Two ends up flat on his back in the middle of the street, his hands still outstretched for a moment in useless protest until they twitch and drop to the blacktop.
Stokes isn’t done. He once more shoves away the restraining Hales and follows Ryan One, who keeps backing away saying, ‘Alright, alright, alright.’ Five more paces from Stokes before another blow at the man’s head. Kai and Billy are now standing over the poleaxed Ryan Two. The video ends, but seconds later Stokes will punch Ryan One hard enough to knock him out too, before off-duty cop Andrew Spure arrives on the scene to bring down the curtain. When the body-camera footage kicks in some minutes later, Stokes is in handcuffs but Ryan One is still laid out in the street. Ryan Two has regained consciousness, folded his shirt under his friend’s head and is asking police for an ambulance.
‘At this point, I felt vulnerable and frightened. I was concerned for myself and others.’ This was how Stokes described that sequence to the court. An elite athlete with years of gym work and training to snap a bat through the line of a ball with astounding power and precision, swinging fists as hard as he can at men with none of those advantages. Punching so hard that he breaks his hand, and repeatedly shoving away a friend so he can punch some more. Frightened and threatened by two targets shouting ‘Get back!’ and ‘Stop!’
The off-duty officer testified that Stokes ‘seemed to be the main aggressor or was progressing forward trying to get to’ Ryan One, who was ‘trying to back away or get away from the situation’. The student who filmed the video can be heard on the tape at one stage exclaiming ‘Fuck!’ and testified that it was because ‘I felt a little bit sorry about the lad that had been punched and it looked like he had his hands up’. That tallied with the prosecutor’s depiction of ‘a sustained episode of significant violence that left onlookers shocked at what was taking place’.
The defendant stuck to his strategy. ‘No, my sole focus was to protect myself.’ All up, in the 33 seconds of footage after he falls over, Stokes takes 35 steps forward to keep hitting two men who keep trying to get away. Not once is he hit back.
After the verdict, Stokes’ solicitor positioned him as the victim. It had been ‘an eleven-month ordeal for Ben … The jury’s decision fairly reflects the truth of what happened that night … He was minding his own business … It was only when others came under threat that Ben became physically engaged. The steps that he took were solely aimed at ensuring the safety of himself and the others present …’ The statement was impossibly self-righteous and self-absorbed.
If there was anyone to feel sorry for it was Ryan Hale, the second of our two Ryans. He’s the one who emerged from the club with a friendly arm around the shoulder for Kai and Billy. He’s the one who interposed himself to end the fight, then kept putting himself back in the firing line, trying to calm an intimidating stranger while dodging blows. For his show of restraint he got laid out regardless, concussed in the street, then was issued a criminal charge equal to that of the man who hit him, and described in national media as a violent bigot in an untested story to support that man’s defence.
Lawyers for Ryan Two made a more convincing post-trial statement, noting that Kai and Billy, ‘neither of whom were relied upon by the prosecution or the defence team for Mr Stokes, have taken the opportunity to speak with various media outlets about the alleged homophobic abuse that they received in the early hours of September 25. Mr Hale has passionately denied this allegation throughout the course of this case,’ it continued.
‘It is upsetting to Mr Hale that although he was acquitted, the accusation that he was the author of such abuse remains. Both Mr Hale and Mr Ali were knocked unconscious by Mr Stokes, and although Mr Stokes has been acquitted of an affray, Mr Hale struggles with the reasons why the Crown Prosecution Service did not treat him as a victim of an unlawful assault.’Good question. Avon and Somerset police were the investigating force, and they were frustrated by the decision. Ryan Two was filmed clearly not hurting anyone, but police were instructed by the CPS to proceed with a charge. Hales (the cricketer) was filmed fighting but ‘a decision was made at a senior level of the CPS’ not to proceed. Police expected Stokes to be charged with assault but the CPS declined. It doesn’t take a wild cynic to think that placing the same lukewarm charge on three men for vastly divergent behaviour might ensure that none would be convicted, even as the trial would maintain the pretence that a defendant of influential standing had not been given a free pass.
A couple of years down the line, the original interview with Kai and Billy has disappeared. All traces have been scrubbed from The Sun website, its social media history, and even from the Wayback Machine internet archive. Given its headline of ‘homophobic thugs’ and text that names Ryan Two but not Ryan One, the libel liability isn’t hard to spot. Later interviews with Kai and Billy take the passive voice – they ‘suffered homophobic slurs outside a Bristol nightclub’.
The article that was once claimed to exonerate brave Ben Stokes now links only to a missing content page, with a picture of a dropped ice-cream cone and the phrase ‘legal removal’ inserted into the web URL. In terms of consequences, Stokes missed one tour. When he resumed his career in January 2018, the Australians hadn’t yet ruined theirs. Their year-long bans looked much more stringent. But the Stokes case dragged on in other ways. With no criminal liability, the Australians confessed promptly enough for the sporting world to give them the full length of the lash. Their situation was ugly but there was closure. Stokes got stuck in legal stasis, unable to be fully backed or condemned. Instead his issue was always present, a browser full of open tabs that the ECB swore they would read any day now.
Through 2018 Stokes was back but he wasn’t back, in the sunglasses and finger-guns sense. In his return one-day series he nearly cost England a match with 39 from 73 balls in Wellington. His first Test hit was a duck as England got rolled in Auckland for 58. At Trent Bridge while Stokes was injured, England posted a world record 481 against Australia. With Stokes three weeks later at the same ground they made 268. He crawled to 50 from 103, the second-slowest any Englishman had reached that milestone in 20 years. That span covered Alastair Cook’s whole career. It was apologetic batting, acting out responsibility via the scorecard. Stokes was creeping back into the team like he’d been kicked out in a blazing row and was hoping to tip-toe to the sofa.
It was December 2018 before the ECB disciplinary committee ruled on him and Hales. In a ‘remarkable coincidence’, wrote Simon Heffer in The Telegraph, ‘the punishment both players faced in terms of bans from playing at international level was covered by the amount of games they had already missed when dropped by England’s selectors, in the furore that followed the incident’. The verdict compounded the omissions around the case by not addressing the violence at its heart. Nor did Stokes, apologising only ‘to my team-mates, coaches and support staff’, and then ‘to England supporters and to the public for bringing the game into disrepute’.
The implicit next step was to rebuild that reputation. It might have been easier had his court defence not meant that he wasn’t game to admit any fault at all. It might have been easier if he or his advisers had been willing to change tack once the trial was done. Imagine a world where Stokes had stood outside court and apologised for overreacting, for the injuries he’d caused, and for the time and energy he had sucked out of other people’s lives. That would have been a show of responsibility beyond a scorecard. When the time came around to assess forgiveness, it might have meant forgiveness was deserved.

I was asked to make a post about some stories within the Casino grounds so I thought I'd share. I have many so I'll do my best to pick the better ones.
Some back information: I've been a Casino Dealer for 11 years, I've been a supervisor for five years, and I've been a Surveillance Operator for one year. I've worked at three properties, none of which are connected or owned by the same company. I've worked on : Government/Private/Native American owned casinos.

1. From Hero to Zero.

At my first Casino, I was one of the first group of people who were trained to deal Roulette . After 4 weeks of working 6PM-3AM then doing roulette training from 3AM-8AM (Not paid) , I actually really enjoyed the game and after about six months I became extremely quick at the number game and the pace of the action was steady with very low margin of errors. Young man walks in, cashes in for $500. He buys in for $2 chips and just loads the board. After a few spins and pretty decent hits, he then changes his chips from $2 to 5$ then to $10 and racks his winnings up to $10,000. It was then, five spins in a row, he loaded the board with some pretty gross bets, and every spin I would hit the ONE number with either NO CHIPS on it, or maybe 1 chip , He lost all $10,000 in a matter of minutes. He leaves , and I go on break. After my break I was going back to the same table and wouldn't you know it, the same young man walks in and cashes in another $500. He tells me he just sold his car outside and this is all that he had left. So we do the same deal, buys in for $2 chips, then slowly starts betting $5 chips, $10, $25...and he makes $10,000 AGAIN. Within the next 25 minutes it was straight agony. Every spin, same thing, he would bet $2500 in chips, and win only $250, $400, and after about a half hour he lost it all . Never saw the guy again.
2) Man down
At this property, we are 24 hours for table games. It's currently 5AM , and I'm dealing some $25 Blackjack to this guy. He's probably early thirties , heavy guy. He's sober as can be, but right away I can tell he's been losing. We know how much you've bought in for, how much your down, or up, and I could see he was down $2000+. After about twenty minutes of pure losing, his temper starts to flare.At this point I now have two other guests at my table. Drinking coffee, not saying a word, just losing their money. After losing hand, after hand, this guy looks me straight in the eye, seized up, starts shaking, he can't move. He tries to punch towards me and smashes his stack of chips all over the place and falls backwards to the floor. I call for security, we cannot touch him due to liability . I can't move from my table because, well, liability / casino cash property, all I can do is try to talk to him. As I'm doing so, these other two woman who are sitting at my table just look at me and one says "OK, dealer, cmon lets go " as she taps the table telling me to start dealing and forget about the guy having a stroke on the floor. As security takes him to the ambulance out front, I had to stay behind for a couple minutes and give a statement. I go on break. I come back, and 45 minutes later, he comes right back in with a oxygen tank and keeps gambling for the remainder of the morning.
3) You get a dildo, and YOU get a dildo!
On a late summer Saturday night, we had a large event for these massive muscle guys/strongman competition type thing. After their show, I'm at the roulette table , and five of these boys come over to play. They were absolutely hilarious. They were feeling pretty good, cashed in somewhat large amounts and I could tell this was going to be a fun time. After about a hour of dealing to these guys, it's almost midnight, everybody is pretty hammered , I spin the ball, and all five of these guys take out these god damn (what I can only tell was) two feet purple dildos from inside their pants, and wiping them around in the air. The ladies were just loving it, one of the dildos landed in the roulette wheel and we had to shut the table down to re-calibrate the wheel to make sure nothing had been changed. I just remember that night was so much damn fun, I couldn't believe what I was seeing and I would never forget it.
4) Full Moon
On this day, I was actually training dealers / supervising them on small games like Three Card poker. We opened the table at 10AM, and this older man came and sat down . He played all day. The jackpot was $21,000 and that was pretty high for this table. He played, and played and played. He's one of the players where you know he's wearing a diaper because he's been drinking coffee/pop all day and hasn't moved in eight hours. As the day went on, this man never moved from his chair. Getting closer to midnight, he was aggravated and said "I need to go have a smoke, I'm getting killed in here". He left, and the very next hand, the lady beside him was dealt the jackpot . He didn't say much, but you could just tell he just hated life at that very moment because had he not gotten up, it would of been his hand. The man calmly took his cane , his hat, jacket, coffee, and left. The next morning I found out when he did leave he drove his car straight through his bank and was arrested.
5) Slick Robber
I actually give props to people who can actually pull this off. This story may confuse you so I'll try and explain things as best as possible. A lot of casinos have machines as soon as you walk through the front doors. A man walks up to one of these machines and sticks in HIS $100 bill. He doesn't gamble it, instead he hits the cash out button and gets a $100 TITO ticket where he then takes the ticket to the ATM machine to get his $100. Now remember, his Original $100 is in the slot machine. He then takes the $100 from the ATM and goes back to the same machine, and repeats this process over a hundred times. Essentially he's taking money from the ATM, and loading up the Slot Machine . Now he knows he can't do it too much because if the slot machine gets full of money, the machine will shut down and the slow attendant will have to take all the cash out. So he deposits over $10,000 , then has a small crowbar, he cracks the machine open and makes a run out the front door. To my knowledge he was never caught . But damn, that was pretty smart .
EDIT:
6) Mental Health is a thing.
10PM man walks in to play some high limit BlackJack. This guy knows the game and played well. Dressed nice, drank juice/tea , a little bit of a attitude, cashed in over $10,000. When this man was half way down his buy in, he said something a long the lines of "If I don't win here tonight, I'm going to go set myself on fire." I wasn't sure if he was serious because when people are down, they tend to say a lot of nonsense. I actually left early that night, and from a third party was told he did exactly that in the parking lot. The next day it was clear something terrible had gone wrong in the parking lot .
EDIT:
7) Nothing good happens after midnight
After a busy Saturday night, I was dealing a mix of games, and during this story I was in the middle of Blackjack. I had one young kid (probably 19) sitting in the middle, one older male probably in his later 40's sitting beside him on his right, and I had a really nice couple in their 20's sitting together at the other side. This young kid wasn't playing just sort of watching, and ever time the old man won he would give this young guy some of his winnings. The older man, was a wine drinker, and he had black between all of his teeth, I'll never forget. He's a little drunk but nothing terrible. As the night goes on, the older man goes and uses the washroom, at which point the couple asked the young guy "Oh was that your dad?" and the young guy says "Hah, no I wish!". The couple and I just looked at each other. This old guy, was in complete control over this kid. Absolutely disgusting. The night ends, and I find out the couple called a few of their friends, and they all waited outside by this old mans truck and beat the living hell out of him. 40 years old, sleeping with a 19 year old, completely brain washed . Very weird.
8) That one co-worker where you just wish they would quit.
One of our co-workers, nice guy but had a very big ego and we as employees just sorta left him alone. One day he had enough of the atmosphere and quit. Now usually when you quit, you cannot come back until you paperwork is finalized. How ever, HR was in that day, and he was given the paperwork the very next day. He came in, cashed in $1000, and made $50,000 in about a hour at the Baccarat table. My manager, was extremely annoyed, because now this guy is just mocking the casino and having the time of his life (Thanks for the big tip by the way :) ) and so he decides to call it quits. He wants to ban himself and he wants $50,000 in cash. The casino says Nope, we are going to give you a cheque. Now here's the thing, most business people will take the cheque, how ever you CANT CASH the cheque until the following monday because it's on that day where the funds are available. The casino on the other hand will cash their own check in anytime , because they want you to play. So this guy pretty much said go to hell I want my cash, and he called the police. Police show up, and management promptly gave him the cash.I though it was absolutely hilarious .
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9) No good deed goes un punished
I was dealing Three Card Poker, and the jackpot was around $17,000. This old man (a regular) was sitting there all day grinding it out. Super nice guy, always a pleasure to deal to. Well, after hours of playing, he stands up and says "Hey john!, can you come here for a minute?" so his buddy John comes over. He says to John "I need to go take a piss real quick, can you play my card until I get back?" John agrees . John takes the chips and I stop him and explain he can't play his friends chips, he needs to cash in and play his own. And he does. Welp, second hand out and bam, doesn't he win it. The old man comes back and is so happy, he can't believe it. John, took his $17,000, didn't say a word to his "buddy" and walked away. I never felt so much hatred in all my life. Didn't give him a dollar, not a thank you, nothing. The old man sits back down again, the progressive resets to $2500, and he sat there grinding away again.
10) The Top Knot
I had this player , young guy, who was born into a fortune. One of his relatives passed away and left him a pretty big sizable amount of money, so he played poker every single day for the rest of his days. I will add, he IS a good player. I did not enjoy his company just because of the "Know-it-All" attitude, but he was good. We'll call him John. John is 5'10, and well build, with muscle. John also decided today was the day to show off his Top Knot. (google top knot if you're not sure what I mean) So he sits down, and he's absolutely KILLING the table. Every hand, after hand, after hand. And because he's in such a good mood, he's playing any two cards, calling any $500 bet, and he's just dominating. This one guy at the table decided he had enough. He got up, without saying a word and left. A moment later, he comes back in, walks behind John, and takes a pair of scissors , and cuts off his Top Knot. I for one couldn't believe it, dying laughing inside, and it just turned into one big brawl. That was a good day.
11) That one bad seed
One of my best friends who I haven't seen in YEARS ended up being part of the crew. Was kind of nice to catch up. We never really got along as we grew up because he has a very high picture of himself . He wanted that 10/10 woman. A mansion, and a new Corvette. So every month or so we would all go up to the other casino to play. I myself would bring no more than $500, but I couldn't understand how this guy (we'll call him Kyle) was spending THOUSANDS of dollars at the tables. So this wen on for a few months. Well, one day, as we're closing the casino, he and I are in the High Limit room and we're getting ready to close the tables. We are told to take the chips out, count them, put them back, sign this piece of paper and that's it. Well as the supervisor was locking the tray, the piece of paper fell to the floor, so she asked Kyle to grab the piece of paper. As he bends over, a great big $500 chip falls right out of his sock. Kyle was fired immediately , but it all made sense. They offered Kyle a deal where if he replaced all the stolen chips they would not make it public. Not sure how that turned out.
12) If I ever decide to write a book, this will be the last chapter: <3
After working at my first Casino for five years, I met a Indian woman who was visiting from another part of the country. During this time I was explaining a game to her, which honestly I don't think she even cared. She explained she was visiting and sight seeing , and that was that.Well, two years later I ended up moving to the other side of the country and transferred casinos, and low and behold she worked there as a Dealer. We got married , and it's been 5 years.
13) The Tip
One of our tables that we've had for a couple years had a progressive jackpot that had reached $100,000. The dealer at the table was sitting pretty lonely. Nobody really played the game because people knew it was extremely difficult to win the jackpot. My memory is a tad foggy, but you somehow needed to flop the royal flush. This young guy sits down and says to the dealer, we'll call him John. "John, if you pay me that jackpot, I will tip you $10,000" Well John started dealing, and about a half hour into his shift, he F*cking did it. He dealt him the royal. And you know something?This young lad, kept his word, and he made sure there was a audience, and he tipped exactly $10,000. That was a moment right there. That pay cheque was real nice. I think we all got about $500 more than usual. The moment that jackpot was awarded they got rid of the table because the money it was making was not near what the casino wanted. I'm sure there have been bigger tips at other casinos, but that was something special .
14) The Lawsuit
Now this story I'm going to have to beat around the bush a bit due to the nature of what happened. I can't won't answer any questions that you may have on this topic other than what I have to say because it had a lot of publicity . The waitresses at this casino had to wear very thin sexy clothes. Not borderline legal, but it was noticed. One day they called all the waitresses to come in and explained they were changing their outfit to something even more sexier. Now these new dresses were very very borderline legal . The staff said No way. We're not wearing that.So , friday night comes, and the staff work their whole shift, then at the end of their shift were called into a meeting and were all fired. Welp, one of those ladies father was a pretty big time lawyer. Brough the casino to court and won. They won big. Good for them. We had no waitresses for a couple days haha.
Thanks for reading along, I have many more I can add as the day goes on, those were just some off the top of my head. Feel free to ask any questions of the Casino industry. I don't really have many stories about the surveillance department because that's the one area where I can't really say a whole lot due to its privacy and contracts I was and still am under.

Hello there! I just found this subreddit. Also I’m not too sure this belongs in the subreddit but i think it might. Also on mobile so if I miss anything I apologize!
So a bit of backstory:
At the time of one of the many times this has happened to me, I was visiting Las Vegas with my family for Christmas. I was 21 at the time, my birthday was that past August, so I was in legal age to gamble and/or drink. I just wanted to try to gamble at one of the casinos.
We were staying at the Treasure Island hotel and casino, in which I loved staying there and would recommend anyone whom asked me where would they stay. Anyways, I’m am from and still live in Texas as I have a bit of a Texan draw and accent, but my voice was still a bit higher than it is now. I had made a few friends at that casino that were around my same age, and we were playing the Dragon Spin slot machine. I made a joke about the luck I had, I had hit one of the three slot games where the dragon would roar and shake the game, and got close to $200 I think. With it happening 3 years ago I’m not for sure on the little details.
Then came the incident.....
I told my two friends that I was sitting with that I was going to go cash out because I didn’t want to gamble what I had earned away and I was going to start over on $20 that I had brought with me specifically for the trip. (In all I saved around $500 for the trip to buy souvenirs or to gamble a bit). At the time I’d only used about $50 for gambling and I was happy with that, and with the money I got from the slot game, I was well over what I had brought with me. (No im not bragging! This is part of the story!) So I go and pull the cash out and put it in my wallet that I was carrying around with me when I am grabbed by the arm by a woman with a casino manager and a security guard.
Meet the entitled windbag!
EW: this whore took my wallet and stole my money! This girl is too young to even be in here! I saw her drinking alcohol and smoking! She has to be no younger than 14 and you won’t even let my 16 year old daughter in her! She should be thrown out of here!
My eyes are as wide as saucers at this woman’s accusations. Now this grip actually bruised and ALMOST broke my arm! She grabbed me by the part of my arm closer to my shoulder. (Edit: I completely forgot the name of that bone to be honest 😅😅) Her grip was a mix of an alligator bite and a vice grip! Or at least it felt like it to me then.....
I continued to try to pull myself free when my two friends saved me.
F1 and F2 will be called Jane and Kira for the sake of the story.....
Jane: what’s going on?
Kira: you’re hurting her!
The woman let me go and practically threw me to Jane and Kira.
EW: you see she isn’t alone in soliciting her body! Throw them out NOW!
Me: hold on a second! You haven’t even let me tell my side!
I glared at the EW.
Me: first off.... this bag is mine! I have MY room key, MY license, and MY money in here so you ain’t taking shit from me lady! Secondly, I am 21 years of age yeah I look young but who cares?
When I said that I pulled out my license and room key showing what room I was in.
EW: THATS MY KEY GIVE IT TO ME NOW!
She swiped for my room key. Before she could take it, I handed it to the manager and security guard.
Me: here check my name and see which room I’m in.
Jane and Kira saw this next part but told me afterward.
The EW lunged for my wallet. Kira stood to my left side while Jane stood on my right.
Manager: -to the security guard- watch them no one leaves until we find out the truth
The Manager walked away as Kira, Jane and I glared to the EW. She began sweating and stuttering to try to pull something else.
As it turned out?
The EW wasn’t even staying at the hotel/casino! She was trying to steal from not only me but anyone she could sucker into getting money and then use the person she suckered into giving her anything she tried to ask for. I laugh at that every once in a while but cringe and get pretty hot-headed if someone insults me or anyone I know about stature, age, looks, etc.
But the most idiotic part of all this?
When the EW called all three of us hookers, whores and other profanities:
I was wearing boot cut jeans, a long sleeve t-shirt, a Jean jacket and boots!
Jane was wearing skinny jeans, a short sleeve t-shirt, a sweatshirt and converse.
And
Kira was wearing some clothes she borrowed from me which were, regular blue jeans, a tunic top, and some sandals she brought.
So were we looking like some kind of hookers? Or was this woman just too drunk?

I already own Darksiders III and Yakuza Kiwami 2, so I figured I'd just skip this month and trade for the other games on here. I haven't updated my list in a long time, so there may be one or two games that I don't have anymore, but I still own most of them. So far, the games I'm looking for are:
Imperator: Rome Deluxe Edition
Crying Suns
Darksburg
Little Misfortune
Smile for Me
Darkwood
Tsioque
Rover Mechanic Simulator
Youropa
Townsmen - A Kingdom Rebuilt
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The ones that I have for trade are:
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Humble Gift Link -
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The Uncertain: Last Quiet Day
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Knights of Pen and Paper 1+2 Collection
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Road Redemption
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This War of Mine
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Throne of Lies The Online Game of Deceit
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Torchlight
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Torchlight II
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The First Tree
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One Deck Dungeon
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Skybolt Zack
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Golf With Your Friends - OST
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Codex of Victory
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Conglomerate 451
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Deep Sky Derelicts
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Gift of Parthax
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Haimrik
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Quantum Replica
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Re-Legion
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Shiny
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Through the Woods
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The Inner World
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Pixel Heroes Byte & Magic
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Safety First!
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SEUM: Speedrunners from Hell
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The Textorcist: The Story of Ray Bibbia + Soundtrack
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Vambrace: Cold Soul Soundtrack
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Vampyr
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AER Memories of Old
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Ken Follett's The Pillars of the Earth
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State of Mind
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Warhammer 40,000: Dawn of War II
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Warhammer 40,000: Dawn of War III
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Warhammer 40,000: Sanctus Reach
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Warhammer: End Times - Vermintide
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Batman - The Telltale Series
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Batman: The Enemy Within - The Telltale Series
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Oxenfree
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The Walking Dead
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The Walking Dead - 400 Days
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The Walking Dead: Michonne - A Telltale Miniseries
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The Walking Dead: Season Two
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Astebreed Definitive Edition
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LiEat
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Mitsurugi Kamui Hikae
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Momodora: Reverie Under The Moonlight
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GET EVEN
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Carcassonne - Tiles & Tactics
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Mysterium: A Psychic Clue Game
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Small World 2
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Splendor
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Twilight Struggle
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Gabriel Knight: Sins of the Father
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Black The Fall
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Children of Zodiarcs
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Deadbeat Heroes
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Forgotton Anne
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Goetia
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Tokyo Dark
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The Turing Test
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Train Valley 2
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A Good Snowman is Hard to Build
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A Mortician's Tale
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Alien Spidy
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Broken Age
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Brothers: A Tale of Two Sons
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Brutal Legend
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Darksiders II Deathinitive Edition
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Darksiders Warmastered Edition
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DUCATI - 90th Anniversary
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Europa Universalis IV
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Fahrenheit: Indigo Prophecy Remastered
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GNOG
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Hacknet
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HIVESWAP: Act 1
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Hollow Knight
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LEGO Batman 3: Beyond Gotham
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Lostwinds
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Magicka
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Music Maker EDM Edition
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PAC-MAN CHAMPIONSHIP EDITION 2
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Party Hard
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Pikuniku
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Psychonauts
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Rebuild 3: Gangs of Deadsville
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Sniper Elite 3
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Speed Brawl
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Stealth 2: A Game of Clones
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Stick Fight: The Game
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Super Hexagon
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SUPERHOT
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This is the Police
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Tilt Brush
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Tropico 4
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Undertale
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VVVVVV
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World of Goo
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Worms Revolution
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Zombotron
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Dead Rising 4
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Devil May Cry 4: Special Edition
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RESIDENT EVIL 2 - All In-game Rewards Unlock
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STRIDER
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Reigns
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Reigns: Her Majesty
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Equilinox
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MagiCat
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Samorost 3
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1 Screen Platformer
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A Glider's Journey
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Adventure Boy Cheapskate DX
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Animal Super Squad
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Anomaly 2
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Anomaly Defenders
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Anomaly Korea
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Anomaly: Warzone Earth
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Anomaly Warzone Earth Mobile Campaign
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Artemis: God-Queen of the Hunt
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Balancelot
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Bastion
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Cathedral
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Chivalry: Medieval Warfare
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Clatter
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Dead by Daylight - Of Flesh and Mud
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Dead by Daylight - Spark of Madness
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Deadlight: Director's Cut
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Dino Run DX
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Downtown Drift
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Draw Your Game
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Drink More Glurp Jingle Jam Challenge
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Invisible Inc.
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Kalaban
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Kingdom: New Lands
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Motorsport Manager
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Must Dash Amigos
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Nemo Dungeon
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Neverwinter: Vestments of the Wind Pack
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Ninja Senki DX
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PAC-MAN CHAMPIONSHIP EDITION 2
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Potatoman Seeks the Troof
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Pumped BMX +
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Rapture Rejects
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Rebound Dodgeball Evolved
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Red Horizon
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Rogue Rocks
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Scanner Sombre
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Songs of Skydale
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Stories: The Path of Destinies
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Super Chicken Catchers
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THE TEAR
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YORG.io
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Chasm
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Fluffy Horde
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Regular Human Basketball
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Fairy Fencer F: Advent Dark Force Complete Deluxe Set
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Megatagmension Blanc + Neptune VS Zombies (Neptunia)
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Moero Chronicle
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Neptunia Shooter
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Superdimension Neptune VS Sega Hard Girls
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Trillion: God of Destruction
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Beckett
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Everything
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Rusty Lake Hotel
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The Stanley Parable
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Thomas Was Alone
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Yume Nikki
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YUMENIKKI -DREAM DIARY-
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Game Character Hub PE: DS Generator Parts
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Game Character Hub PE: Second Story
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Game Character Hub: Portfolio Edition
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RPG Maker MV
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RPG Maker MV - GENE
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RPG Maker MV - MADO
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RPG Maker MV - SAKAN
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RPG Maker VX
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RPG Maker VX Ace
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RPG Maker XP
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Visual Novel Maker + Live 2D
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Evergarden
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Shenmue I & II
​
SYNTHETIK: Legion Rising
​
Bridge Constructor Portal
​
Portal Knights
​
SEUM: Speedrunners from Hell
​
Staxel
​
Tricky Towers
​
When Ski Lifts Go Wrong
​
Planet Alpha
​
Puss!
​
The Spiral Scouts
​
Cat Quest
​
HIVESWAP: Act 1
​
Immortal Planet
​
Pillars of Eternity
​
Tyranny - Standard Edition
​
Carrier Command: Gaea Mission
​
Pound of Ground
​
Take On Helicopters
​
Take on Mars
​
Ylands
​
Distance
​
God's Trigger
​
Guacamelee! 2
​
MOTHERGUNSHIP
​
DISTRAINT 2
​
Rusty Lake Paradise
​
Unexplored
​
The Adventure Pals
​
Almost There: The Platformer
​
Yoku's Island Express
​
60 Parsecs!
​
Love is Dead
​
Road Redemption
​
Clustertruck
​
Diaries of a Spaceport Janitor
​
Party Hard
​
Punch Club
​
SpeedRunners
​
Duskers
​
Paratopic
​
Pool Panic
​
Red Faction Guerilla Re-Mars-tered
​
Black The Fall
​
Octahedron
​
The Turing Test
​
I'm not a Monster
​
Wandersong
​
11-11 Memories Retold
​
Impact Winter
​
Little Nightmares
​
PAC-MAN™ Championship Edition DX+
​
Project CARS
​
Genital Jousting
​
Highway Blossoms
​
Just Deserts
​
Purrfect Date
​
Sunrider Academy
​
Sunrider: Liberation Day - Captain's Edition
​
Among the Sleep - Enhanced Edition
​
Tooth and Tail
​
Dandara
​
MINIT
​
Steel Rats
​
12 is Better Than 6
​
BLACKHOLE
​
Cook, Serve, Delicious! 2!!
​
Kingsway
​
kuso
​
Soft Body
​
Way of the Passive Fist
​
Slipstream
​
Dear Esther: Landmark Edition
​
GoNNER
​
Headlander
​
Ken Follett's The Pillars of the Earth
​
Shadow Tactics: Blades of the Shogun
​
Bleed 2
​
Rapture Rejects
​
Rock of Ages 2: Bigger and Boulder
​
Sniper Elite 3
​
Interplanetary: Enhanced Edition
​
Worms Clan Wars
​
Animal Super Squad
​
Anomaly 2
​
Anomaly Defenders
​
Anomaly: Warzone Earth
​
Blade & Bones
​
Board Battlefield
​
Clicker bAdventure
​
Cloudborn
​
Convoy
​
Cube Link
​
Deep Dungeons of Doom
​
Detective Case and Clown Bot in: Murder in the Hotel Lisbon
​
Don't Stand Out
​
Dungeon Escape
​
Fahrenheit: Indigo Prophecy Remastered
​
Flux8
​
Freaky Awesome
​
Guns of Icarus Alliance Collector's Edition
​
Hackyzack
​
The Haunting of Billy
​
Hello Pollution!
​
Hyperdrive Massacre
​
Indecision.
​
Kabounce
​
Lakeview Cabin Collection
​
Last Encounter
​
LOVE
​
Lucius Demake
​
Marvin's Mittens
​
Match Point
​
No Time To Explain Remastered
​
Race The Sun
​
R-COIL
​
Road Doom
​
Slime-san
​
Super Steampunk Pinball 2D
​
Sure Footing
​
Switchblade Starter Pack
​
Temple of Xiala
​
Throne of Lies The Online Game of Deceit
​
Tower 57
​
Tross
​
Unit 4
​
Wizorb
​
Zero G Arena
​
Colt Express
​
King and Assassins
​
Kentucky Route Zero
​
RWBY: Grimm Eclipse
​
War for the Overworld + Heart of Gold DLC
​
The Dwarves
​
Resident Evil Revelations
​
Gremlins, Inc.
​
Old Man's Journey
​
Pathfinder Adventures
​
Talisman: Digital Edition
​
Carcassonne - Tiles & Tactics
​
Talisman: Digital Edition
​
How to Survive 2
​
Darksiders II: Deathinitive Edition
​
12 is Better than 6
​
Bear With Me - Collector's Edition
​
Dungeon of the Endless
​
Jalopy
​
NBA Playgrounds
​
Action Henk
​
JYDGE
​
Keep Talking and Nobody Explodes
​
Kingdom: New Lands
​
Laser League
​
Holy Potatoes! We're In Space?!
​
Grand Theft Auto: Episodes from Liberty City
​
Grand Theft Auto III
​
Grand Theft Auto: Vice City
​
Filthy, Stinking, Orcs
​
Sanctum 2
​
Grey Goo
​
Sorcerer King: Rivals
​
​
Green Man Gaming -
​
CRUSADER KINGS II
​
WARHAMMER END TIMES VERMINTIDE
​
INJUSTICE GODS AMONG US ULTIMATE
​
THE FLAME IN THE FLOOD
​
FROZEN SYNAPSE PRIME
​
BEAT COP
​
SUPER CLOUDBUILT
​
THE LITTLE ACRE
​
INSURGENCY
​
FEAR 3
​
DEAD AGE
​
MAGICKA
​
SERIAL CLEANER
​
CASTLEVANIA LORDS OF SHADOW 2
​
FAHRENHEIT REMASTERED
​
OPERATION FLASHPOINT RED RIVER
​
ROCKET KNIGHT
​
LEGO BATMAN
​
BIOZONE
​
ADR1FT
​
​
Fanatical -
​
Autonauts
​
Guards
​
How to Take Off Your Mask
​
ENIGMA:
​
Garfield Kart
​
Stronghold Legends: Steam Edition
​
Styx: Master of Shadows
​
Among the Sleep - Enhanced Edition
​
EARTH'S DAWN
​
Do Not Feed the Monkeys
​
Rain World
​
Shadwen
​
Syndrome
​
The Technomancer
​
Chess Ultra
​
Arcana Heart 3 LOVE MAX!!!!!
​
DEAD OR SCHOOL
​
Shiness: The Lightning Kingdom
​
XBlaze Code: Embryo
​
XBlaze Lost: Memories
​
Duke Nukem Forever
​
GUILTY GEAR Xrd -REVELATOR-
​
Party Hard 2
​
The Walking Dead
​
This War of Mine
​
Blood: Fresh Supply
​
Syberia II
​
If My Heart Had Wings
​
LoveKami -Divinity Stage-
​
LoveKami -Useless Goddess-
​
The Surge
​
Dungeons 2
​
The First Templar - Steam Special Edition
​
Urban Empire
​
The Dark Eye: Demonicon
​
Chronicles of Magic: Divided Kingdoms
​
Endless Fables 3: Dark Moor
​
King's Heir: Rise to the Throne
​
Lost Grimoires 3: The Forgotten Well
​
My Brother Rabbit
​
Noir Chronicles: City of Crime
​
Path of Sin: Greed
​
Queen's Quest 4: Sacred Truce
​
Tharsis
​
Little Big Adventure 2
​
Return to Mysterious Island 2
​
Damned
​
Return to Mysterious Island
​
Odyssey - The Story of Science
​
Little Big Adventure - Enhanced Edition
​
Sanitarium
​
The Royal Marines Commando
​
STARBO
​
Raptor: Call of The Shadows - 2015 Edition
​
Guns of Icarus Online
​
Hamsterdam
​
Gates of Hell
​
Perfect Heist
​
Aces of the Luftwaffe
​
Operation Thunderstorm
​
Clouds & Sheep 2
​
Archamon
​
The Crown of Leaves
​
HERO DEFENSE
​
Tales From Candlekeep: Tomb of Annihilation
​
Last Dream: World Unknown
​
The Swindle
​
Robothorium: Cyberpunk Dungeon Crawler
​
Equilinox
​
Rogue Wizards
​
Codex of Victory
​
Haimrik
​
In Fear I Trust
​
In Fear I Trust - Episode 2
​
In Fear I Trust - Episode 3
​
In Fear I Trust - Episode 4
​
The Watchmaker
​
The Uncertain - The Last Quiet Day
​
World's Dawn
​
Extinction
​
Infinite Air with Mark McMorris
​
Super Inefficient Golf
​
Tales of Candlekeep: Tomb of Annihilation
​
Shadwen
​
Creeping Terror
​
Fantasy Wars
​
Ascension to the Throne
​
Savage Lands
​
Survivalist
​
Still Life
​
Holy Avatar vs. Maidens of the Dead
​
Syberia
​
Miasmata
​
Syberia II
​
Looterkings
​
Damned
​
Lost Civilization
​
QuestRun
​
Railroad Pioneer
​
SkyDrift
​
Thunder Wolves
​
Airline Tycoon Deluxe
​
Overclocked: A History of Violence
​
Dark Strokes: The Legend of the Snow Kingdom Collector's Edition
​
Eternal Journey: New Atlantis
​
Forest Legends: The Call of Love Collector's Edition
​
House of 1000 Doors: Evil Inside
​
House of 1000 Doors: Serpent Flame
​
Joan Jade and the Gates of Xibalba
​
Love Alchemy: A Heart in Winter
​
Magic Encyclopedia: Moon Light
​
Mind's Eye: Secrets of the Forgotten
​
The Fog: Trap for Moths
​
Analogue: A Hate Story
​
Detention
​
The Coma: Recut
​
The Coma: Recut - Soundtrack & Art Pack DLC
​
Revolution Ace
​
Californium
​
SkyDrift
​
Clinically Dead
​
Out There Somewhere
​
Fate Tectonics
​
Plazma Being
​
One Finger Death Punch
​
ESport Manager
​
Dungeons 2
​
Galaxy Squad
​
Oriental Empires
​
Stars in Shadow
​
TASTEE Lethal Tactics
​
The Lion's Song: Season Pass
​
Homeworld Remastered Collection
​
Shuyan Saga
​
Steel Vampire
​
Arcana Heart 3 LOVE MAX!!!!
​
Guilty Gear X2 #Reload
​
Lifeless Planet Premier Edition
​
Snake Pass
​
BEEP
​
DRAGON: A Game About a Dragon
​
Destiny Warriors RPG
​
Gun Rocket
​
Labyronia RPG
​
Labyronia RPG 2
​
LocoSoccer
​
Out There Somewhere
​
Storm of Spears RPG
​
Subterra
​
Sun Blast: Star Fighter
​
The Odyssey: Winds of Athena
​
Tiny Bridge: Ratventure
​
Crouching Pony Hidden Dragon
​
GAUGE
​
Isbarah
​
Poöf
​
Puddle
​
Replay - VHS is not dead
​
Wooden Sen'SeY
​
House of Caravan
​
Cultures Northland
​
Splatter Zombie Apocalypse
​
Squirbs
​
Learn Japanese to survive Hiragana Battle
​
Airscape The Fall of Gravity
​
Revolution Ace
​
Labyronia RPG
​
PARTICLE MACE
​
Cultures 8th Wonder of the World
​
GIBZ
​
STAR WARS Jedi Knight - Jedi Academy
​
STAR WARS Jedi Knight II - Jedi Outcast
​
Dex
​
Figment
​
Hive Jump
​
Jalopy
​
PewDiePie: Legend of the Brofist
​
THE KING OF FIGHTERS XIII STEAM EDITION
​
Blades of Time Limited Edition
​
Blood Knights
​
Demonicon
​
Drakensang
​
GemCraft - Chasing Shadows
​
Heroes of Annihilated Empires
​
Inquisitor
​
Knights and Merchants
​
Lichdom: Battlemage
​
Numen: Contest of Heroes
​
Rune Classic
​
Sudeki
​
Two Worlds II: Velvet Edition
​
Wizardry 6&7
​
Asteroid Bounty Hunter
​
Charlie's Adventure
​
Cube Runner
​
Duke of Alpha Centauri
​
Fly and Destroy
​
Hungry Flame
​
Neon Space
​
Neon Space 2
​
ShipLord
​
Slash It
​
Slash It 2
​
Spin Rush
​
Survive in Space
​
Upside Down
​
Distant Worlds: Universe
​
Heavy Burger
​
I am not a Monster
​
Learn Japanese to survive Hiragana Battle
​
SimplePlanes
​
Sword Legacy Omen
​
Moero Chronicle
​
Moero Chronicle - Deluxe Pack DLC
​
35MM
​
Deadlight
​
Distrust
​
Killing Room
​
March of the Living
​
Savage Lands
​
Tharsis
​
Valnir Rok Survival RPG
​
Dreamscapes: The Sandman - Premium Edition
​
Dreamscapes: Nightmare's Heir - Premium Edition
​
Sea Legends: Phantasmal Light Collector's Edition
​
Witch's Pranks: Frog's Fortune Collector's Edition
​
Kingdom of Aurelia: Mystery of the Poisoned Dagger
​
Taken Souls: Blood Ritual Collector's Edition
​
Silver Tale
​
A Plot Story
​
Hexus
​
Jane Angel: Templar Mystery
​
Dream Walker
​
Witch's Tales
​
Escape Doodland
​
Mad Dream: Coma
​
Earthworms
​
Clinically Dead
​
Mech Rage
​
Camper Jumper Simulator
​
ESport Manager
​
Darkest Hunters
​
The Sexy Brutale
​
Beholder
​
The Last Door - Collector's Edition
​
The Last Door: Season 2 - Collector's Edition
​
Cognition: An Erica Reed Thriller
​
System Shock: Enhanced Edition
​
System Shock 2
​
Metal Fatigue
​
Spirits of Xanadu
​
Shadow Man
​
I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream
​
Homeworld Remastered Collection
​
Tales from Candlekeep: Tomb of Annihilation
​
PAYDAY 2
​
Jalopy
​
Hover
​
Figment
​
Subterrain
​
STARWHAL
​
Scribblenauts Unmasked: A DC Comics Adventure
​
Joggernauts
​
The Long Reach
​
Mainlining
​
Coffin Dodgers
​
The Rivers of Alice - Extended Version
​
Zombie Kill of the Week - Reborn
​
The Walking Vegetables
​
Unbox: Newbie's Adventure
​
System Shock: Enhanced Edition
​
UNLOVED
​
Killing Room
​
Sir, You Are Being Hunted
​
Styx: Shards of Darkness
​
STAR WARS - Knights of the Old Republic
​
STAR WARS Knights of the Old Republic II - The Sith Lords
​
Shadowrun: Hong Kong - Extended Edition
​
SimCity™ 4 Deluxe Edition
​
STAR WARS™ - The Force Unleashed™ Ultimate Sith Edition
​
METAL SLUG X
​
Oxenfree
​
Galactic Civilizations II: Ultimate Edition
​
Sins of a Solar Empire: Trinity
​
Fallen Enchantress: Legendary Heroes
​
The Political Machine 2016
​
The Corporate Machine
​
Sorcerer King: Rivals
​
Demigod
​
Go! Go! Nippon! ~My First Trip to Japan~
​
March of the Living
​
Four Sided Fantasy
​
Dungeon Rushers
​
The Invisible Hours
​
Dead Secret
​
The Free Ones
​
HIVESWAP: Act 1
​
Castle of no Escape 2
​
Galactic Lords
​
W4RR-i/o-RS
​
Nogibator: Way Of Legs
​
WN - ShP
​
Fairy Lands: Rinka and the Fairy Gems
​
Drill Arena
​
Walhall
​
Er-Spectro
​
Risky Rescue
​
Frederic: Evil Strikes Back
​
16bit Trader
​
Midnight Mysteries
​
Midnight Mysteries 4: Haunted Houdini
​
Zombie Bowl-o-Rama
​
Little Farm
​
Silver Knight
​
ANKI
​
Lift It
​
3 Coins At School
​
Deep Eclipse: New Space Odyssey
​
Green Ranch
​
The lost joystick
​
UBERMOSH Vol. 5
​
Trip to Vinelands
​
TTV2
​
SWARMRIDER OMEGA
​
UBERMOSH
​
UBERMOSH:BLACK
​
UBERMOSH Vol.3
​
Iesabel
​
Daemonsgate
​
Chamber of the Sci-Mutant Priestess
​
Spiritual Warfare & Wisdom Tree Collection
​
Prophecy I - The Viking Child
​
Drakkhen
​
Hostage: Rescue Mission
​
King's Table - The Legend of Ragnarok
​
Eternam
​
Chaos Control
​
Bubble Ghost
​
Mystical
​
Alien Rampage
​
Frederic: Resurrection of Music
​
Teddy Floppy Ear - Mountain Adventure
​
Teddy Floppy Ear - Kayaking
​
Millie
​
Sparkle 2 Evo
​
Story of the Survivor
​
SharpShooter3D
​
Goodbye My King
​
Watch This!
​
Crazy Oafish Ultra Blocks: Big Sale
​
Crystal City
​
Bloody Boobs
​
AuroraRL
​
Dispatcher
​
Casino Noir
​
Detective Noir
​
Reptilians Must Die!
​
The Braves & Bows
​
Zzzz-Zzzz-Zzzz
​
The Dweller
​
Surfingers
​
Timberman
​
Sparkle 3 Genesis
​
Cat on a Diet
​
Zombillie
​
Asteroid Bounty Hunter
​
ShipLord
​
Neon Prism
​
Slash It
​
Slash It 2
​
Cube Runner
​
Upside Down
​
Spin Rush
​
Neon Space
​
Neon Space 2
​
Duke of Alpha Centauri
​
Hungry Flame
​
Survive in Space
​
Fly and Destroy
​
Charlie's Adventure
​
Luxor Evolved
​
Luxor: Amun Rising HD
​
LUXOR: Mah Jong
​
Luxor: Quest for the Afterlife
​
Samantha Swift and the Hidden Roses of Athena
​
Red Risk
​
Particula
​
Overcast - Walden and the Werewolf
​
OutDrive
​
Invasion
​
Cubium Dreams
​
Iron Impact
​
Stigmat
​
Marco Polo
​
Cybercube
​
Mr. Dubstep
​
Monstrum
​
Wick
​
Lethe - Episode One
​
35MM
​
I Shall Remain
​
Silence of the Sleep
​
Rebel Galaxy
​
Punch Club - Deluxe Edition
​
Grey Goo Definitive Edition
​
RiME
​
Gloom
​
SharpShooter3D
​
Goodbye My King
​
Crystal City
​
Art of Murder - Cards of Destiny
​
Art of Murder - Deadly Secrets
​
Art of Murder - FBI Confidential
​
Art of Murder - Hunt for the Puppeteer
​
Art of Murder - The Secret Files
​
Chronicles of Mystery - Secret of the Lost Kingdom
​
Chronicles of Mystery - The Legend of the Sacred Treasure
​
Chronicles of Mystery - The Tree of Life
​
Chronicles of Mystery: The Scorpio Ritual
​
Megadimension Neptunia VII
​
Megadimension Neptunia VII Digital Deluxe Set DLC
​
Galactic Lords
​
W4RR-i/o-RS
​
Nogibator: Way Of Legs
​
WN - ShP
​
Fairy Lands: Rinka and the Fairy Gems
​
Drill Arena
​
Walhall
​
Er-Spectro
​
Daemonsgate
​
Chamber of the Sci-Mutant Priestess
​
Spiritual Warfare & Wisdom Tree Collection
​
Prophecy I - The Viking Child
​
Drakkhen
​
Marco Polo
​
Hostage: Rescue Mission
​
King's Table - The Legend of Ragnarok
​
Eternam
​
Chaos Control
​
Bubble Ghost
​
Mystical
​
Alien Rampage
​
Ocean Classics Volume 1
​
200% Mixed Juice
​
War of the Human Tanks
​
Worms
​
Worms Reloaded: Game of the Year Edition
​
Worms Ultimate Mayhem - Deluxe Edition
​
Worms Crazy Golf
​
Worms Blast
​
Worms Pinball
​
The Mooseman
​
Sky Break
​
Tropico 5
​
Super Cloudbuilt
​
Tower 57
​
Dex
​
Epistory - Typing Chronicles
​
Deponia: The Complete Journey
​
Table Top Racing: World Tour
​
Riff Racer - Race Your Music!
​
GT Legends
​
GTR Evolution
​
Vangers
​
Insane 2
​
Zero Gear
​
Race.a.bit
​
Mashed
​
Race: The WTCC Game + Caterham Expansion
​
Little Racers STREET
​
BARRIER X
​
Super Toy Cars
​
Mini Motor Racing EVO
​
Drift Streets Japan
​
Instant Death
​
Spirits of Xanadu
​
Swipe Fruit Smash
​
Voxel Baller
​
Breezeblox
​
BalanCity
​
VRog
​
BoomTown! Deluxe
​
City Siege: Faction Island
​
Bomb The Monsters!
​
Crazy Belts
​
Rush for Glory
​
Naval Warfare
​
Insurgency
​
Blood Knights
​
Heroes of Annihilated Empires
​
Wizardry 6 & 7
​
Drakensang
​
Rune Classic
​
Gemcraft - Chasing Shadows
​
Knights and Merchants
​
Etherlords I & II
​
Sudeki
​
Numen: Contest of Heroes
​
Inquisitor
​
Commands & Colors: The Great War
​
Making History: The Calm and the Storm Gold Edition
​
Attrition: Tactical Fronts
​
Imperial Glory
​
Praetorians
​
Commandos: Behind Enemy Lines
​
Commandos: Beyond the Call of Duty
​
Commandos 2: Men of Courage
​
Commandos 3: Destination Berlin
​
Ominous Tales: The Forsaken Isle
​
Beyond the Invisible: Evening
​
Tearstone
​
Entwined: Strings of Deception
​
Vengeance: Lost Love
​
The Rosebud Condominium
​
Where Angels Cry: Tears of the Fallen (Collector's Edition)
​
Lightning: D-Day
​
Congo Merc
​
Hold the Line: The American Revolution
​
Battles of the Ancient World
​
Peninsular War Battles
​
1812: The Invasion of Canada
​
Russian Front
​
7 Wonders II
​
7 Wonders of the Ancient World
​
7 Wonders: Ancient Alien Makeover
​
7 Wonders: Magical Mystery Tour
​
7 Wonders: Treasures of Seven
​
Discovery! A Seek and Find Adventure
​
Gardens Inc. 2: The Road to Fame
​
Glowfish
​
Little Farm
​
Luxor 2 HD
​
Luxor 3
​
Luxor Evolved
​
Luxor HD
​
Luxor: 5th Passage
​
Luxor: Amun Rising HD
​
LUXOR: Mah Jong
​
Luxor: Quest for the Afterlife
​
Midnight Mysteries
​
Midnight Mysteries 3: Devil on the Mississippi
​
Midnight Mysteries 4: Haunted Houdini
​
Midnight Mysteries: Salem Witch Trials
​
Midnight Mysteries: Witches of Abraham - Collector's Edition
​
Pickers
​
Samantha Swift and the Hidden Roses of Athena
​
The Dweller
​
Iesabel
​
EM: Shader Attack
​
Invasion
​
Labyronia RPG
​
Labyronia RPG 2
​
Legend of Mysteria RPG
​
Chosen 2
​
Balloon Blowout
​
Bayla Bunny
​
Block Blowout
​
Chess Knight 2
​
Dessert Storm
​
Fantastic 4 In A Row 2
​
Fantastic Checkers 2
​
Ludo Supremo
​
Mahjong Deluxe 2: Astral Planes
​
Mahsung Deluxe
​
Mini Golf Mundo
​
Pepe Porcupine
​
Puppy Dog: Jigsaw Puzzles
​
Puzzles Under The Hill
​
Ultimate Word Search 2: Letter Boxed
​
Bubble Blowout
​
Train Valley
​
Broken Sword Trilogy
​
Daemonsgate
​
Chamber of the Sci-Mutant Priestess
​
Prophecy I - The Viking Child
​
Drakkhen
​
Marco Polo
​
Hostage: Rescue Mission
​
King's Table - The Legend of Ragnarok
​
Bubble Ghost
​
Mystical
​
Ocean Classics Volume 1
​
Pandora: First Contact
​
35MM
​
Grand Ages: Rome GOLD
​
GT Legends
​
Nether: Resurrected
​
CAT Interstellar
​
Circut Breakers
​
Memoranda
​
Sins of the Demon RPG
​
Gladiator Trainer
​
Dragon Sinker
​
Neon Chrome
​
Skullgirls
​
Mad Games Tycoon
​
Replica
​
Patrician IV - Steam Special Edition
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Patrician IV: Rise of a Dynasty
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Patrician III
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The Swindle
​
Zenith
​
Hive Jump
​
ICY: Frostbite Edition
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Commandos Collection
​
Revhead
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Car Mechanic Simulator 2015
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Demolish & Build 2017
​
Robot Squad Simulator 2017
​
Skullgirls & DLC
​
The Mims Beginning
​
Dreamstones
​
Cally's Caves 4
​
Tank Battle: East Front
​
Tank Battle: Pacific
​
Tank Battle: Normandy
​
Tank Battle: North Africa
​
Tank Battle: 1944
​
Tank Battle: Blitzkrieg
​
Tank Battle: 1945
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Civil War: 1861
​
Civil War: Bull Run 1861
​
Civil War: 1862
​
Civil War: 1865
​
Civil War: Gettysburg
​
Civil War: 1864
​
SK8
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King of the Eggs
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Bouncy Bob
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Hotel Dracula
​
Warfront Defenders: Westerplatte
​
Pony Island
​
Who's Your Daddy
​
SWARMRIDER OMEGA
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SWARMRIDER OMEGA OST DLC
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SWARMRIDERS: Original Soundtrack DLC
​
DinoSystem
​
Super Sports Surgery
​
Middle-earth: Shadow of Mordor Game of the Year Edition
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Startide
​
Timberman
​
Kathy Rain
​
Table Top Racing: World Tour
​
Z
​
Dark Years
​
Exowar
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Total Extreme Wrestling
​
World of Mixed Martial Arts 3
​
IGT Slots Paradise Garden
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Anti-Opoly
​
Wrestling Spirit 3
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Draft Day Sports College Basketball 3
​
Draft Day Sports Pro Basketball 4
​
Defend Your Life
​
Hyperdrive Massacre
​
The lost joystick
​
Orbital Racer
​
RUNRUNRUN
​
Murder...
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UBERMOSH:BLACK
​
Trip to Vinelands
​
SWARMRIDER OMEGA
​
Bad Dream: Coma
​
Mad Games Tycoon
​
Perfect Universe
​
Daddy's Gone A-Hunting
​
Deep Dungeons of Doom
​
Worms
​
PolyRace
​
The Way
​
​
Indiegala -
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Persian Nights: Sands of Wonders
​
The Secret Order 6: Bloodline
​
Demon Hunter 4: Riddles of Light
​
Lost Grimoires 2: Shard of Mystery
​
Animal Lover
​
Magi Trials Deluxe Edition
​
Highschool Possession
​
Topless Hentai Mosaic
​
Hentai Hexa Mosaic
​
Borderus
​
The Myth Seekers: The Legacy of Vulcan
​
Eventide 2: The Sorcerers Mirror
​
Nightmares from the Deep 3: Davy Jones
​
Beach Bounce
​
Beach Bounce - Soundtrack
​
Beauty Bounce
​
Bunny Bounce
​
Club Life
​
Club Life - Soundtrack
​
Divine Slice of Life
​
Divine Slice of Life - Soundtrack
​
Echo Tokyo - Wallpapers
​
Echo Tokyo: Graphic Novel
​
Echo Tokyo: Intro
​
Highschool Possession
​
Highschool Romance
​
Magi Trials Deluxe Edition
​
Summer Fling
​
Summer Fling OST
​
Sword of Asumi Deluxe Edition
​
Knock-knock
​
Systematic Immunity
​
OddPlanet
​
The Quest for Achievements Remix
​
Moot District
​
Ceville
​
Mutiny!
​
Magic Trials Deluxe Edition
​
Hentai Zodiac Puzzle
​
PUZZLETIME: Lovely Girls
​
Girls of Hentai Mosaic
​
Girls of Hentai Mosaic - HQ Artbook & Wallpapers
​
Hentai Hexa mosaic
​
Hentai Hexa Mosaic - Soundtrack
​
Lady's Hentai Mosaic
​
Lady's Hentai Mosaic - OST
​
Lady's Hentai Mosaic - PNG Artbook
​
Pixel Hentai Mosaic
​
Pixel Hentai Mosaic - OST
​
Topless Hentai Mosaic
​
Topless Hentai Mosaic - OST
​
Topless Hentai Mosaic - PNG Artbook
​
Echo Tokyo: An Intro
​
Echo Tokyo - Wallpapers
​
Echo Tokyo: Graphic Novel
​
Last Anime boy: Saving loli
​
Witch College
​
Pleasure Airlines
​
Senpai Teaches Me Japanese: Part 1
​
Chibi Volleyball
​
My personal Angel
​
Riddled Corpses
​
Nandeyanen!?
​
AstroViking
​
?????2 / Seven boys 2
​
TimeTekker
​
Girls of Hentai Mosaic
​
Topless Hentai Mosaic
​
Hentai Hexa mosaic
​
Lady's Hentai Mosaic
​
Pixel Hentai Mosaic
​
Book Series - Alice in Wonderland
​
On Earth As It Is In Heaven - A Kinetic Novel
​
BAD END
​
Frank & the TimeTwister Machine
​
Linelight
​
Hook
​
Franchise Wars
​
Rush Bros
​
Grim Legends: The Forsaken Bride
​
Abyss: The Wraiths of Eden
​
Without Within 2
​
Cursed Sight
​
Beauty Bounce
​
Highschool Romance
​
Beach Bounce
​
Club Life
​
Echo Tokyo: Intro
​
Echo Tokyo: Graphic Novel
​
This Strange Realm Of Mine
​
Bot Vice
​
Eliosi's Hunt
​
Aspect
​
Grim Legends 2: Song of the Dark Swan
​
Crime Secrets: Crimson Lily
​
Grim Legends 3: The Dark City
​
Particle Mace
​
Secret of Magia
​
Sins of the Demon RPG
​
Splatter - Zombie Apocalypse
​
Airscape - The Fall of Gravity
​
Fate Tectonics
​
Battle Ranch: Pigs vs Plants
​
Earth Overclocked
​
Greyfox RPG
​
Wish -tale of the sixteenth night of lunar month-
​
Cursed Sight
​
A Winter's Daydream
​
Empty Horizons
​
Poker Pretty Girls Battle: Texas Hold'em
​
Pretty Girls Mahjong Solitaire
​
Pretty Girls Panic!
​
Mahjong Pretty Girls Battle
​
Boneless Zombie
​
Delicious! Pretty Girls Mahjong Solitaire
​
Koi-Koi Japan [Hanafuda playing cards]
​
Mahjong Pretty Girls Battle: Schools Girls Edition
​
Wild Romance
​
Pretty Girls Panic! (Chinese version only)
​
Pretty Girls Mahjong Solitaire (Chinese version only)
​
Slash or Die
​
Slash or Die 2
​
RepairBot
​
Stellar Interface
​
Trench Run
​
12 Labours of Hercules VII: Fleecing the Fleece (Platinum Edition)
​
A Dream For Aaron
​
A Duel Hand Disaster: Trackher
​
ARENA GODS
​
Adelantado Trilogy. Book Two
​
Adelantado Trilogy. Book one
​
Adventures of Dragon
​
Aircraft Evolution
​
Alice in Wonderland - Hidden Objects
​
Alicia Quatermain 2: The Stone of Fate
​
Alicia Quatermain: Secrets Of The Lost Treasures
​
Amelon
​
BAD END
​
BELPAESE: Homecoming
​
Battle High 2 A+
​
Beat The Game
​
Bitcoin Miner
​
Blind Men
​
BlowOut
​
Border of her Heart
​
Bottom of the 9th
​
Bravium
​
Brawlout
​
Broken Minds
​
Burnin' Rubber 5 HD
​
Chinese Ink Painting Puzzle & Creator
​
ClickBit
​
Coffee Crawl
​
Crashday Redline Edition
​
Crazy Pirate
​
Crisis in the Kremlin
​
Crystal Catacombs
​
Crystals of Niberium
​
Cube Zone
​
Cubiques
​
Cubiques 2
​
Curse: The Eye of Isis
​
Digital Resistance
​
Disparity
​
Drake of the 99 Dragons
​
E-Startup
​
Elbub
​
FreeHolder
​
Gladiator: Sword of Vengeance
​
Goldmine
​
Gothicc Breaker
​
Hentai Puzzle
​
Hentai Sokoban
​
Hide The Body
​
I.F.O
​
Inexplicable Geeks: Dawn of Just Us
​
Insert Paper: Update
​
Joy Climb
​
Judge Dredd 95
​
Krampus Quest
​
Krautscape
​
LOOT BOX ACHIEVEMENT SIMULATOR
​
Legend of the Skyfish
​
Lunch Truck Tycoon
​
MIND SHIFT
​
Maze of Infection
​
Mines of Mars
​
Mini Ghost
​
Mission: Escape from Island 2
​
Moto Racer 4
​
Moto Racer 4 - Space Dasher
​
Moto Racer 4 - The Truth
​
Navalny 20!8 : The Rise of Evil
​
Negligee
​
Neverliria
​
Next Hero
​
ORCS
​
PLATI NALOG: Favorite Russian Game
​
Panzer Hearts - War Visual Novel
​
Paper Shakespeare: To Date Or Not To Date?
​
Paradox Wrench
​
Penny Arcade's On the Rain-Slick Precipice of Darkness 3
​
Pixel Hentai Mosaic
​
Pixelpunk XL
​
Plant This
​
Q-YO Blaster
​
Questr
​
Ravensword: Shadowlands
​
River City Super Sports Challenge All Stars Special
​
Rot Gut
​
STATUS: INSANE
​
SUPER BENBO QUEST: TURBO DELUXE
​
Science Girls
​
Shadowgrounds
​
Shield Impact
​
Shout Of Survival
​
Spooky Cats
​
Store Simulator
​
Suna
​
SwordBounce
​
The Adventures of Elena Temple
​
The Bluecoats: North vs South
​
The God
​
The Last Dawn : The first invasion
​
The Lost Gardens
​
The Reject Demon: Toko Chapter 0 - Prelude
​
The Uncertain: Episode 1 - The Last Quiet Day
​
They Are Hundreds
​
Toy Odyssey: The Lost and Found
​
Usual John
​
Visceral Cubes
​
WeakWood Throne
​
Welcome to Princeland
​
Wings of Vi
​
World's Dawn
​
Zombie Desperation
​
the Line